LOH Weekly Contest #160 || A Letter To My Dad ||

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In response to LOH weekly contest #160

Do you know someone dear to your heart who passed away unexpectedly? In case he/she can read your letter from heaven, what do you want to tell him/her? You can express your feelings, emotions, and everything else you've been holding inside that remained unspoken before he/she passed away.

                    A LETTER TO MY DAD

Dear Dad,

I have never failed to do anything in my entire life, but I fail to put into words the depth of my emotions, knowing I can no longer see, feel, hug, or talk to you. There are a lot of things in my head and mind that I wish I had said or asked; there are so many questions I can’t provide an answer to. All my life, growing up, I had never had a special moment with you or a family picture with you. I had the plan of carrying all these plans out this coming holiday, but it hurts me every day knowing this could never happen anymore. This coming Christmas without you is not feasible because you are always the event planner. You would have started getting things for Christmas by now, even up to what we are supposed to wear. I’m writing this in tears. Who will do all these for us?

How I miss you
I can't take you off my head or the incident, and to keep you always in my heart, I left my apartment and came back home. I moved to your apartment in your room, staring at all your pictures hung on the wall, sleeping on your favorable spot on the bed, communicating with your picture, sharing with you my worries and fears, and how I feel someone always covers me up when I sleep because I don’t cover up, but I believe you do that, and my heart is limping for joy knowing you are always around.

How I Wish You were around to see my progress
I have been making quite a bit of progress so far. I wish I could show them all to you. You have always wanted me to further my education by getting my master's degree. I have started working on it, saving up for it, and investing in some lucrative businesses that can help me take care of the family you left behind. And I am also glad to tell you that your baby girl Esther has commerce her "call to bar" examination, and soon she will become an Esq lawyer—what you have ever wanted for her. It is such a pity you won't be there physically for the inauguration.

How will I handle your absence on my wedding day?
I can't stop thinking and imagining your absence. I still can't answer this question: who will be the father of the bride? I don’t want anyone to replace you; this is killing me within I can’t handle it A wedding should be a thing of joy, but I stopped longing for it because of your absence. But I came up with a resolution: your frame will be carried along with me while I walk down the aisle and the chair meant for you will have your image on and the clothes you are meant to wear that day, I can’t stand anyone taking that place

I regret very unsaid words, the missed opportunities to express my gratitude and your unending love, and the moments when I took your presence for granted. If I could turn back time, I would seize every chance to tell you how much you mean to me and to thank you for your love and support.

I find solace in imagining that somehow you can hear these words, read through the lines of the letter, and see the impact you had on my life. I hope you are at peace, free from pain, and surrounded by the love that you so generously gave during your time with us.

Till we meet again, your memory lives on forever in my heart, and I promise to live a life that will make you proud wherever you are.

I LOVE YOU, DADDY

From your dearest daughter
Temi.