Better To Share Bitter Truth With Positive Intentions -- My Story

Telling bitter truth is delicate but it gives opportunity for a positive change. Truth they say is bitter, but it can become sweet depending on the manner the truth is told. For instance, a man that goes to play with friends without brushing will feel bad when someone says to him "shift, see how your mouth is smelling". I am sure his day will be spoilt. He knows he didn't brush and his mouth must smell but the way the person presented it may cause a fight. That guy may be withdrawn throughout that day. He may hate the other guy for long, you'll bet. 😄.

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How would it be if that same guy avoids harsh criticism and become more constructive and gentle in his language? What if he says "Hey Bro, you may need to freshen up". Wouldn't that be more compassionate and tolerable? Freshen up means a lot. It may mean go and wash your face, go and change your clothes, wear some perfume, use a mouthwash or gum, it can mean relax a bit, drink water or something. So it may be hard for the person to be embarrassed or mocked. Manner of approach is everything.

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ONE BITTER TRUTH I WAS TOLD.

"Madam, you have been wearing this clothe since seven years, can't you throw it away?"

That came from a colleague who may not remember She told me that.

This is a colleague who is miserly. She gets angry when She sees me making long calls. She calls it a waste of call card. She frowns when vendors come into the office to sell bags, shoes etc and I patronize them. When She is called to buy, She says she doesn't need them or She has budget for her money. The few things She uses are always fake or second hand. That's the person embarrassing me with the statement above.

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING

Is it true that I have worn that particular clothes for seven years? No. I had to call the woman I bought the clothe from if it's up to seven years She sold it to me. But She told me it wasn't up to four years She started clothes business.

Where then did my colleague get her claim?
Well, the bitter truth in what that colleague said was that I have worn that clothe more than any other clothes. 🙈🙈. That means She sees that clothe on me at least three or four times in a month, whereas others may go for once in a month, twice or some may be forgotten and not worn in six months or more. It happens to you right?

I have a culture. Any clothe that makes me very comfortable and smart, I love it and wear it more. It looks as if I have a particular clothe too for travelling because it's very comfortable, smart and good for the road. Same with shoes. If I buy new pairs of shoe, the old ones will go for holidays especially if the new ones has very low or no heel.

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Besides, whose business is it if I love one clothe more and wear it more often? Why is anyone looking at my clothe and counting days and years for me? For crying out loud, this is even a single Lady with no serious expenses! What business does She have with the clothes of another woman whom she doesn't know much about? Right now my girl @temi-madelles is in her final year, how many kids has the colleague been spending on? I was really pissed. She doesn't even wear better clothes than I do.

The worst is that, She was discussing with someone when I walked past. She just excused herself and came to tell me the statement "

"Madam, you have been wearing this clothe since seven years, can't you throw it away?"

Could it be that they were discussing me? I thought about how to remind her to go and get married and know how much it takes to run a home. I thought about asking her how many kids is she paying School fees for? I thought about telling her how many trousers the guy She is dating wears when He visits. I wanted to count for her how many clothes and shoes She too hasn't changed in ten years😄😄. But I was controlled by a spirit, I think it's God's spirit. All I replied was " Thank you, I have heard". Well, here is the full view of the clothe. Is it that bad? 😭

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MY DAY WAS SPOILT!

I went back to my office, locked the door and prayed to God to answer her request for me and bless me more. Coincidentally, I was passing through a rough time that period. I told God that He has been challenged, He should do something concerning my case.😄. I checked my phone to confirm when I bought the clothe with the first picture I snapped with it. 😄 I was pissed, I picked my bag and went home.

When I got home, I was moody. Hubby asked what the matter was, I was blowing hot with anger. I told him someone teased me publicly to go and throw the clothe I had on away. He hissed, laughed and asked "Which clothe. Who even said it? This clothe? What's the person's business?". When I told him who the person was, He said I disappointed him. He said that Lady has no right to say that to me and I too have no business feeling bad. "You would have lashed her back, what does She wear? Who is her Husband? Is She the best dressed there? All these and more were all He said and asked me never to allow any one make me feel inferior without my consent. I told him the Lady in question is not even married, no child, no serious expenses, yet She is miserly. Hubby told me then I should forget her.

I washed my face and told him that I was going to wear that clothe again to work tomorrow. He laughed and said that's is very good. The next day, I wore the clothe again to work. The Lady saw me and squeezed her face. The next week, I made sure the clothe was worn one of the days. In all, I wore the clothe for about five times more.

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BITTER TRUTH BRINGS POSITIVE CHANGE

One day, I looked at the clothe again, I asked "What really made that Lady talk down on this clothe? Such a beautiful dress! Well, even if not old yet, but based on how often I wear it due to its smartness, It's time to let it go. At the same time, I kept rationalizing; the clothe is still fine o 😄 . I still didn't see why but I decided it was time to really take a break from that clothe. 🙈. Now, I stopped wearing to work but use it at home.

Each time I see that clothe, I remember the uncivilized way I was teased with it and tend to analyze that Lady and her life again. 😄. I just concluded that some really have no manner of approach.

However, Since then, I have added more clothes to my wardrobe that when She sees them on me, no matter how others complement, She pretends as if She didn't notice. Probably noting and counting when I began wearing them so She can later tease again. Some people are really frustrated and they just want who will tease them with it, so they can go demonic . I just ignore them and leave them with their problem.

Well, telling people the truth is good. But I believe it doesn't have to be blunt or said in a manner to embarrass or humiliate someone. It mustn't even be you to spill. Let someone close to them tell them in a friendly manner! Mind your business. If it becomes necessary to tell, find a milder way to approach things. Many have committed suicide just because of the way they were humiliated. What that Lady said can cause trouble in some families. Some wives could go back and pick a fight about how uncaring their husband has been. I thank God about the way I handled it anyways.

Summarily, while it is good to be honest and avoid flattering people, it is important to show maturity by being tactfulness and respectful. This will help us to convey our message and still maintain a meaningful relationship, foster personal growth, and help the person to retain self esteem.

Thanks once again for stopping by. This is my response to @hive-naija prompt for this week.

How has it been with you? Ever been told a bitter truth? Did that change you? 😃