My Actifit Report Card: April 8 2024

Hi to all my actifiters friends around the worlds, how are you doing today? i am hoping that you are all healthy and fine.
Lately i am skipped doing much activity. Yeah i am still grieveng in the moment.Knowing that my infant cannot growing skull and it make this baby cannot support the baby lives. And we decided to terminate the pregnancy. And after consultate to our doctor, we decided to make the baby born premature without doing any operating at all. I am considering that my wife's health in stake here if need to be operated. And the doctor said that the best choice is make the baby born by itself with medicine help. And last week my wife starting to drink the medicine, but the baby is not born premature yet. And today i am consult again to doctor what we need to do. And the doctor said no need to rush, take a rest keep doing activity. Do not grieving too long, we need to let it go and keep move on. And 4 days from now my wife need to take medicine again to forcing the baby comes out. Hopefully the baby still in one piece. I dont know how tp describe my feel, it is sad, confused, anger, hurt, pain all in one in my head. Sometimes my head is very hurt and spinning. It is very hard to write this problem here. Even though i am pretty sure that sharing is one way to relieve the grieving and sadness and make my mind still sane. I dont know why this year is really hard for me. From the financial until the baby problem. And what makes me more sad is looking my wife keep crying and i cannot doing anything to reduce her pain. Even though we are both agree to let it go. But it reallly easy to say but not when we need doing it. Our family said that we need to let it go and just praying for the best and need to keep our head cooling down since we are still have son. So i am decided to going away from home tomorrow and stay in hotel and going vacation just 2 day to make our little family not sad too deep. And i think i need to be fair to my son. I dont want to make my son feel guilty looking his parents grieving withouth my son knowing nothing. Even though i tell the problem to my son still he is 4 years old, i think he don't quite understand the real problem was. So i am hoping that my decision to take my family on little vacation is not wrong. I am hoping that my wife can healinng a little bit and my son can happy again. Maybe me and my wife can enjoy this vacation and get distracted by accompany my son playing and enjoying going to amusement park But it not fully healing our hurt feeling by losing the baby. And yeah today i am decided to walking a little bit around my home to reduce my anger, reduce my tension and reduce my stress. Even though i dont think that just once can healing everything and solve all the problem. But, at least i can say that walking can make me still sane. And can smile when talking and playing with my son. I know that i supposed not telling this story in here. But, it really heavy when i am starting writing from the start. It still make my heart hurt when looking this USG picture. Knowing that my little baby cannot growing. It is like very rare situation in my country. But, why me?!! why must me that get this problem. I am hoping that the rest of this year i can hear and get happy news or happy moment. Really, this kind of feeling is very heavy. Feeling like my brain wanna explode sometimes.

I know that the only can healing our grieving is just time and some of faith. And the doctor recommended after the baby born premature. We should planning to make baby again. And with some additional folad acid to avoiding the kind of same problems. Maybe for the physically bpth of us can handle it. But i dont know mentally. We are still afraid that will happen again. And we dont want to get this kind of problem again. I think i need to rest now. Almost a week i cannot sleep well.
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Daily Activity

Height 180 cm		Weight 82 kg		Body Fat %
Waist cm		Thighs cm		Chest cm