NOT MYSELF, A LIFE OF SACRIFICE #175

Daddy was in the military and was barely at home. Mama took care of me and my siblings all by herself. When I said, "Mama took care of me and my siblings all by herself," it's not as if my dad was not involved in our lives; the problem was that he was barely around to support her in raising the kids. But when it came to financial assistance, he was all in. As the first child, I grew up with the sense of responsibility that I was my mama's support system. I had no friends, not because I was not allowed to, but because I knew I couldn't be like every other child out there. I had to start taking on responsibilities and thinking maturely. My mother would often tell me that my siblings held me in high regard. They will therefore emulate whatever character I play. My childhood was taken away from me. I understood then what it meant to sacrifice oneself for the joy of others.

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In terms of sacrifice, I cannot even begin to count how many times and what I have given up for my family. Since I was the first child, I believe that my level of sacrifice was greater aside being a woman.

It hurt at first, and I used to cry every time Mama asked me to give up something, especially food, for my younger siblings. I felt I was loved less, I felt I was cheated, and I felt she was being unfair to me. Why would I always be the one to give up something? But I understood better now what she was trying to do with me.

Now I see sacrificing for family as an act of love and nothing more.

One key thing I have sacrificed for my family is my comfort. I have done so many things that, if left to myself alone, I would never have done them just for family. When I say I have done so many things, I wasn't talking about illegal or wrong things. I was talking about things that made me uncomfortable, such as taking up extra jobs, working late hours, having sleepless nights, and denying myself certain comforts and pleasures. The recent one is that after graduating from the university, I was supposed to go to NYSC, but I chose not to for now. Instead, I got a job to support the family. My friends are out there exploring, but here I am, taking on responsibilities no one asked me to. I couldn't tell anyone why I hadn't gone to NYSC yet. I am sure no one will agree to it.

But of course, when it comes to sacrifice, people don't necessarily need to understand why you do the things you do. Even if we don't understand why we do the things we do, one thing I know is that you can only sacrifice for the people and things you love.

The one reason we made unexplainable sacrifices was because of the people involved. These are people we love; they make existence meaningful, and without them, there would be no us.