The values of friendship - LOH #192LOH

How much does friendship mean to you?

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Friendship for me is having a significant other do life with you. A ride or die, a fallback, a safe and a happy place.

For me, friendship is a mutual commitment, it is symbiotic and not parasitic.

A friend will never judge you even when you are wrong. They will first look for a solution to bring you out of the situation before they pass judgement and advice you afterward.

You know, I always evaluate my relationship with people every now and then to be sure the people I'm doing friendship with is still doing with me because most times the values you share with people change, and you just might be too carried away to notice.

When it comes to friendship, despite not being lucky with keeping friends, I do not stop trying to build a healthy friendship because everyone needs a friend and everyone deserves a friend.

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I have been meaning to write about my friend Sharon and this prompt just presents the opportunity for me.

There was a time I was in a very critical situation and I couldn't tell my mom about it at the time due to the tension. If I had told her, she would have escalated the issue and land me in deeper trouble.

My mom is my confidant first, but she's bad at handling or resolving conflict. Whatever I'm confiding in her has to be matters of lesser magnitude because there's no in-between for her.

She would defend me at the expense of anything and everything, but there are certain situations that require you to be diplomatic and remain in the in between which was where I found myself in.

I was in a tight corner, I was panicking, and I was shaking because I was guilty, and I needed a way to escape the wrath of the people I had offended. I couldn't think straight. So I texted Sharon on my way to resolve the issue.

The moment she saw the text, she called me and asked in details what had happened, of which I narrated everything to her and the next thing she said was to DENY.

I was already getting angered and irritated because how am I denying something that is so glaring and pointing at me as the culprit?

She said, “Ese listen to me, you see that thing they are trying to hang in your neck? You did not do it. Maintain composure, do not panic, remain calm.”

She continued, “the moment you are agitated, you've thrown yourself to the dogs, and they wouldn't be merciful. I have been in a similar situation, and it was my composure that saved me. I looked the people involved in the eye and told them I didn't do it, and they believed me despite the evidence they had.”

Sharon did not judge me, Sharon did not condemn me, and she did not blame me for being careless. We were on the phone as I journeyed, and her voice was reassuring.

Gradually I became at ease, I became calm and by the time I had reached my destination I was ready to face my fear but then discovered it was all a massive misunderstanding and I did nothing wrong.

The discovery was possible because despite having my doubt and condemning myself, thanks to Sharon's advice I stood my ground.

After the whole issue had been resolved, and we were talking about it, I was thanking her like my life depended on it, and then she said she did what a friend would do and if the situation were worse, she would hide a dead body for me.

With Sharon, I feel protected, and I feel loved. We've had our rough edges in the past, of which I had shared here before, but somehow we reconnected, and our bond grew stronger. I'd always say that if my friendship with Sharon ever bits the dust, I will have no regrets.

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Can you make new friends easily?

Back then I struggled with making friends. In fact it is now that I have joined hive I am even trying to extend a hand of friendship.

During my service year, when we had new sets of corp members, they hated me because while everyone was going to welcome them, I remained in my solitude.

Basically, I am a very reserved person and not one to first extend a hand of friendship. I like my space and get comfortable in the walls I have built. These walls keep my friendship circle small and keep me safe from the backlash of fake friends.

The thing is, it is hard to get through the walls that I have built around myself. With the way, I am uptight and always squeezing my face? People get really turned off to be friends with me.

If eventually the curious ones push through, they get to meet the sweet me, and it becomes one of their best friendship moments. Just like the corp members that we got off the wrong foot and also with Sharon.

Sharon and I have known ourselves since childhood because we grew up in the same neighborhood, but she said she has always seen me as a snub which did not come as a surprise to me lol.

Ps
All images are mine

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