The art of self-care (Community Contest #178)

Bonjour beautiful ladies and happy start to the week!

I haven't been active here lately (planning to change that starting now 💪🏼) but seeing this week's topics, I had to add my two cents. Many thanks to @tibaire for the thought-provoking questions - it was quite hard to decide which one to treat myself to. After my morning coffee though, the choice was quite obvious and boy, do I have a lot to share:

What do you do when you feel exhausted? How do you regulate your physical, mental and emotional state to be yourself again?

My life hasn't always been easy, which I think as a woman, is kind of the standard. We all have our own daily struggles and complex lives. So in order to explore my point of view, I'd have to bring you all the way back to the very beginning.

I was a very shy and quiet child, with so many big emotions, none of which were ever explained to me. There was rarely anybody checking in on me, except for my great grandma, who to this day I believe was my soulmate. I had no one to talk to because the adults had their own issues so mine seemed rather small and insignificant. In other words, it's always been me, myself and I.

Growing up in a very dysfunctional family can be extremely hard on anyone, but I'd like to think it has taught me so much about myself at a very early age. I started journaling at the age of 11 all through the age of 20. Back then, I didn't understand exactly why I was doing it - in my mind, it was a way for me to remember specific feelings, situations, people. But I believe that behind all this, was the simple desire to share these little things with someone; to feel like my existence mattered. I mattered. Therefore, it's no surprise that writing is one of my coping mechanisms when life gets hard. Not only does it help to get stuff off my chest, but it also brings a new perspective to whatever I'm going through. And even though it's a very helpful tool to me, I still carry a sliver of my initial reason for starting journaling - to treasure all the beautiful memories life has given me.

Something else that is quite popular in my household lately, is our regular singing/ dancing mom-daughter breaks. As a millennial mom, of course I have introduced my little one to the wonderful tunes of the late 90s/ early 00s pop music. We've had karaoke nights where she'd be singing Britney's "Oops, I did it again" or dancing to BSB's "I want it that way". We've recently been obsessed with Taylor Swift though so we're switching things up for a bit 😉 Jokes aside, music has definitely played (and continues to play) a huge role in my life and well-being. As an introvert, I love me some me time - when I can put on my headphones and get lost in the music realm. Sometimes all I need is a song - whether it be to let all my negative emotions out, have a little crying sesh, or have fun and dance a bit.

Another one of my favourite activities to do when I'm feeling overwhelmed with life in general, is definitely spending time with friends. As we try to navigate our way through life, we start appreciating the people that have been there for us in bad times as much as good ones. Over the years, we inevitably lose many friendships, but if we're lucky enough the ones that really matter always make it till the end. I consider myself lucky to have a few ladies I know I can always count on, my "sisters from other misters" 😁 Most of them have been in my life for years and know the good, the bad and the ugly pieces of me as much as I know theirs. In the end, it's the combination of all these pieces that makes us human. Spending time with people who appreciate you for who you are and are always supportive no matter what, it definitely lessens the burdens we tend to carry as women.

And yet, despite all the different paths I have found over the years to put myself back together when life gets hard, my favourite would have to be nature walks. Nothing beats the beauty, the peacefulness of Mother Earth. I truly believe being surrounded by nature, immersing ourselves into the wilderness, heals us in so many different ways. It's no surprise that during the worst of times, the pandemic, regular walks outside were recommended. They work wonders not only for our physical but also mental and emotional well-being.

As I'm wrapping up this post, I would like to add two honourable mentions that have been quite beneficial to my health and have played a pivotal role in boosting my happy cells.

1. My beautiful baby girl (and her little sis, as she calls our cat) - these two are my ride or die buddies. Having a healthy baby is all a mother could ask for. But when that baby grows up to become a sweet, kind, beautiful soul and is always there to shower you in hugs and kisses...Well, your heart melts to a million little drops of love. Even if some of the stress we feel as mothers is often related to the mysterious ways of raising a little human, they are still our pride and joy; our little bundles of happiness 🫶🏻

2. Reading - books have always helped me escape reality. When I was in school, every summer we'd be given a list of books we needed to read before the new school year started. I, along with most of my classmates, was never excited to do that and I'd barely read anything. But one specific book turned it all around for me. It's called "Tobacco" by the Bulgarian author Dimitar Dimov. I read it when I was about 16-17 years old, and it sparked my interest in reading, which I am hoping to instill into my daughter 😊

So to sum up, there are quite a few "rituals" I find myself doing any time I start not feeling quite like myself. I'd like to think I have found somewhat healthy ways to regulate myself and bring my more positive attitude whenever needed. Sometimes all of these work, other times none of them can do the trick. If the latter's ever the case, I have promised myself to check in with my therapist as she has a non-biased outlook on my life, and somehow always finds a way to make me appreciate every little thing this life has blessed me with.

Thank you so much for going on this introspective journey with me. We took quite a few turns but we made it to the end 😁 Forever grateful to be part of this community and be able to share whatever my heart desires.

Wishing you all a lovely start to the week! Stay positive and radiant! ☀️

**All photos shared in this post belong to me.