There is a Rainbow After the Storm - LOH Contest #166

Hello everyone especially for amazing ladies of hive around the world! Thank you for the opportunity that I get for participating in contest of this week. I am so excited to answer the questions because I do have a valuable lesson last year.

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I was born as a little girl who was spoiled, shy, weak, whiny, timid, quiet, childish, and not good at talking. Since I was little, I cried very easily when someone scolded me or shouted at me, including my parents. They know that I'm a soft child and cry easily. I think maybe I have subtle feelings and use feelings rather than logic. I used my feelings without realizing. Even now I'm still the same as before, haven't changed much. I am still a weak woman, unable to be strong, easily cry and get touched when something goes wrong, when seeing something sad or touching.

For example, if I watch a movie and the story is sad, or someone dies, I will shed tears very easily. When I watched with my husband, of course I was a little embarrassed because I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. I'll cover it immediately. When I see old people on the streets or old scavengers or little children working selling newspapers on the streets when they are the age they should be at school and studying at home, it will make me sad and bring tears to my eyes. When I see animals like stray dogs on the streets looking for food or injured where they can sometimes be disabled, it will definitely make my heart sad.

Once I had a dog named Lilo, and when he was 2 years old he died for some reason. It made me very sad and cried uncontrollably. It was the first loss I had experienced and my heart felt so broken. I feel like I can't lose something that I love so much and is close to me. I don't think I can do it. I am not strong enough. I can't see him anymore because he is no longer in this world. It is very painful. Then I imagined what if I lost the person I love? Can I even bear it? It happened when my father died and it was the thing I was most afraid of all this time. I lost someone close to me and loved me. How can I live my days and my life without a father. I could not accept the reality. This is the lesson for me. I Must be able to accept the reality no matter what, even though it is very hard.

From childhood I was shy and insecure. I do not know why. I felt like a girl who was not beautiful, my body was not ideal, I am short only 155 cm, my nose is not sharp, and I am not white. You know today's beauty standards and that makes me feel insecure. Again, the bad habit I have is comparing with other people. How can there be a woman who has a beautiful face, tall and ideal body no matter how she posses she will always look beautiful, even has a good career and make their own money. Which woman doesn't envy and feel insecure about it all? Who doesn’t want to be like that? Thank God, now I've changed because I know it's not good for me or my mentality, at all. What is the point of comparing our lives with others? It will only make us ungrateful for our lives and what we have. Just be yourself!

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If I look at last year I think that I spent my time dealing with the same problems every day. Survive and seek fortune for daily needs. As a housewife, I live my days which are a bit boring if I look at my past. In the past, everything was so easy. Everything went well and the problem was resolved quickly.

However, this year is truly the most difficult year I have ever faced. I am still someone who is weak, not strong and unable to face life which is increasingly difficult for me. A heavy burden rests on my shoulders and my husband. As a wife and mother, I have to be a strong figure, don't I? Especially, in front of my son, I can't be someone who is whiny, weak, and looks scared. I have to be the opposite, a woman who is strong, independent, multi-talented, and not a crybaby. I have to be a woman who can be patient in facing problems, be strong and mature. Those are not the basic qualities that I have. I'm not that kind of person. Do I have to change? Yes, I must change it. At least, a little changed and I try.

I've told you about this, about one of my best friends whose life is almost perfect for me. She has everything, whatever she wants is fulfilled. A good career, perfect job, lots of money, success, she can go wherever she likes to go. Going abroad, watching concerts, shopping for branded stuffs, cool cars. I think she is a great woman. Even, I think she does not need a man beside her, right? What about me? I don't have all that, everything she has.
Sometimes, I have thought that if I could replace her life, if I were her, I would be so happy. Wow. I realize that is so wrong. One thing she has not achieved yet is having a family, like me. She doesn't have a husband and children yet. I already have it all and I am very grateful for it. I would be never loved by someone like my husband loved me, I would never be a mother, facing mother's life, having a such cute child as I do.

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So, everything that I faced this last year, no matter how difficult it is, no matter how heavy, I can get through it together with my family and the people around me who love me. As long as they are with me, support me, I am strong. I can do it all. Everything would be easy and remember that without the rain, there would be no rainbow.

I just remembered that in fact, I don't only play the role of a good person in this life. I think I was once a bad person without realizing it. I really learned from my previous experience. This year I started to realize that, a very valuable lesson. I used to have almost no problems that were too serious and heavy.

Everything even felt easy for me and my family. Everything I did, our efforts were always successful. We almost never failed. We were very sufficient with what we had. Everything felt very easy and nothing was difficult for us. Because it is those conveniences and successes that make it possible for us to become bad people. I just realized it, completely unaware. How do I explain it? Look, with the words that come out of my mouth, it could be pride. That's very dangerous isn't it? In small things for example. I remember, I once thought that nowadays there are families who still survive by just riding motorbikes without having a car. Isn't a car a major necessity nowadays? I thought, aren't those cars cheap now? Why didn’t they buy it? Another example, I see other people's cars were not as good as the car I had. I said to myself, fortunately my car is in good condition and is a new car. What happens if I have an old car and it breaks down on the road? Oh, that car is very cheap unlike my car which is still expensive and looks good. I feel lucky with that. I see other people not as lucky as me. I became proud. The luck was on my side.

Last year was so changed and different. Everything I did didn't work. Nothing was easy. Everything felt so hard. One thing I learned is that it is not always luck on our side. Do not think that our lives will always be easy and comfortable. When I felt it myself, experienced it myself, I realized that life is not always at the top and people who I used to see as incapable are now more than me. I realized that I used to be someone who lost control.

The lesson for me is that at any time, especially when we are at the top of the life, we should respect other people and not be pride. People sometimes do not realize that. God is really good because He allows things that I find difficult to happen in my life. He allowed it all to happen in my life, difficulties, problems, discomfort, to make me a better and more valuable person. I have become a person who appreciates everything I have and is grateful, that is the best lesson that God has given me.

I would do differently and start doing for myself next year :

1. Don't be weak but be strong
2. Be humble
3. Always remember that every problem do not be afraid because there must be blessings and goodness
4. Always be thankful and grateful!

Thank you for inviting me Ladies of Hive community. I hope that my writing can also be a learning experience not only for me but also for you all who read this :)

Have a blessed year ahead ^^