SOCIAL OR NOT-SO-SOCIAL

I am not social. Not one bit. I've always been withdrawn. Reserved, if you may call it that. I grew up not having a good social life. What am I even saying? My social life is okay as it is. I'm just not the outgoing, loud, kind of human. I'd rather not be at event gatherings nor having discussions.

Enjoying my space has been better and it's worked for me that way. It's always been that way for Mr but also, I can say that I got those from my parents as they aren't very much butterflies, my siblings too.

I shy way from whatever gives me contact with others and/or puts me out there, giving me attention.

Even in the online world, asides hive and WhatsApp, you may not find me anywhere else (for now, maybe). If we're friends on WhatsApp, for whatever duration of time, I' want to assume that you can count the number of times I have made updates on my status. Sometimes I want to try to be spontaneous and just put out mrmes and pictures and videos and whatever I think to, as a way to have fun and as I see some other people do on there, but before I I think of what to put out or even click the send button, I just lose the vibe.

It's not that fun for me. I do have good communication skills and I've made peace with my kind of sociality. In truth, I never had to make peace with nothing. It's just who I am and so I feel no weirdness about it.

I can say that this social habit of mine is as a result of upbringing, and personnel choice. This should 3cplaim it best. I just enjoy how in tune with myself I am come, how peaceful it can be and how sharpened my senses are. It's just delightful how I enjoy being by myself. I don't know what I have missed out on by reason of being how I am. I think I have though. But it's all good. Still, I'm not open towards being a social butterfly. We can't all be same.

Regarding my relationships, I don't assume that it's been affected. Or maybe I haven't noticed. Yes, I decline invitations to just go someplace and maybe it affects the others. Some two years ago, my big brother would invite me to go with him to every place he had to be and every single time, I'd decline. I would see the disappoint and hurt written all over his face. It hurt me too. I wanted to go but couldn't bring myself to. I cannot even explain this properly. My reservations were over the roof.

I have come to understand who I am and how I am. I consider myself lucky that for the most part, my people understand how i am. Sometimes, they complain about it and I try to make amends cause, I do have to make compromises.

Image is mine

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