BOND. #179

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The mother-daughter relationship is a complex and evolving dynamic that can be influenced by many factors such as genetics, culture, personality differences, life experiences, and communication styles. It can range from close emotional bonds to strained or distant relationships.

The above is the reason why I am going to use myself as an example, my relationship with my mother. I can comment on it cause it's a fact and I'm living it and the fact that it's not common in the society I'm in.

Growing up, I witnessed some of myy friends hiding secrets from their mothers, usually because they were scared of persecution. The African mother's way of parenting is to be strict and very firm no room for anything else.

Don't get me wrong, mothers like these often love their children, but because they don't know how to show it so as not to appear weak or because that's the way they were brought up. Society is unusually tough on the girl child, at least in the part of the world I am. They expect girls to be obedient, virtuous, and hardworking which is not wrong, but the presentation is often off.

The consequence of this is that girl children are almost always scared to relate and share secrets with their mothers, they would rather keep it in and tell someone who will likely lead them astray. Sensitive topics like sex education are not proper where female children are concerned. Matter of fact, they don't want to talk about it at all, you are expected to be celibate until you get married, period! So, in the instance that a girl child gets pregnant because of lack of sexual education, she would rather risk abortion than open up. I'm sure you understand how many lives has been destroyed because of abortion complications.

My mother is maybe one in a hundred African women who approached the raising of her female children differently. Whenever she wants to correct me, she does it with love and without judgment. She always urges me to tell her anything and not fear to approach her whenever for whatever reason. She always makes the time for me and my elder sister.

My mother was aware when I had my first boyfriend which would have been generally considered crazy for a teenager, but my mother knew better than to alienate me. She sat me down, spoke to me, and asked questions she wanted to know. It was that day she first gave me a lecture about sex education and how abstinence is the best.

The most memorable mother-and-daughter relationship I have with her was when I parted ways with my partner, she didn't judge me one bit and was there for me every step of the way. I was broke and confused as to how to move forward and she dedicated part of her monthly salary to me until I could be financially stable. She traveled back home with me and stayed for weeks because she wanted to ensure I was fine before she left. I'll never forget that and reward her as long as I live.

She's always there to cheer me up for my wins and console me for my losses. She's my best friend and I tell her everything because she's my safe place and my best friend. Even when I became an adult and started a family of my own away from her, there's hardly any day we don't talk over the phone to swap stories. The best part of this relationship is that I'm confident she won't lead me astray and snitch on me.

I would have said the bond formed before mother and child at birth is responsible for this, but there are cases of many mothers that don't care about their children. Or maybe, they just never had the bond.

Regardless, I have a very strong bond with my mother, one that can never be broken no matter what.

I always prayed to be the kind of mother my mother is to my children, the females especially but, sadly, I don't have any female children, they are both boys. Regardless, I'm still raising the societal standard of raising them to be fine, gentlemen in future.