HARMONY.

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I don't regret many things in life, but the one thing I've never quite gotten over is my obstinacy over something that seems so trivial now when I think about it.

"I don't know for him, his sister was all over the place and frankly, I don't like her. They are too many in their family, and his sister who's in my class is such a fool. Her brother speaks highly of her so, I always have to play along." I blabbed on saying derogatory things about my boyfriend because we quarreled. I was in senior secondary school and I was madly in love with him. I didn't know much about love, but I knew enough then and now to know that it wasn't infatuation. As young as I was then, it was pure love, real unadulterated love.

"Seyi, calm down. Don't you and any of his sisters get along?"

"Get along my foot. He's the only male among seven females, and I haven't met all of them. The only two of them that I've met, I don't like. Why are you even asking? What does his sisters have to do with any of this?" I asked my friend, Tayo over the phone.

"I'm just asking since you said they know you are dating. You could just talk to one of them about it." Tayo said, trying to make me see reason. Tayo was my neighborhood friend from another school. We met during a certain holiday coaching she had at my school. We clicked immediately we discovered we had the same surname, Alagbe. Her younger sister, Tope was my boyfriend's school
daughter, and I knew her fairly well. He got to know Tayo through her sister who was his school daughter, but they only spoke on phone. There was a kind of square that joined us all together, I would have called it a triangle, but we are more than three, so square it is. Bottom line, I was comfortable talking about him to her because she knows him, and they relate well as friends even over the phone.

I was ranting over one of the many things I used to rant about, I was young and madly in love. At that age, I didn't know how to handle it especially since he was the head boy, an SS3 student and he always had girls fawning over him.

"I don't like that kind of behavior too, if he was my boyfriend, I would have broken up with him. You are too beautiful to be stressing over a guy. You remember how those boys fought over you then during the holiday coaching?" Tayo reminded me.
It was true, I did have boys fight over me during the coaching and it was through no fault of mine. Okay, so let me let you in on it real quick, three friends had asked me out on separate occasions probably before they got to know of each other's intentions. I wasn't interested in dating any of them, but I was at that age when I enjoyed the attention and wanted to bask in it. I was talking to one of them after coaching one day when another came and punched him, claiming he spoke to me first. Duh! Who cares? I left them and went my way.

"I won't talk to him about anything, I'm no more interested in the relationship sef."

"Why?" She asked.

I heard the beep but thought nothing of it. "I'm currently talking to this new guy, and I like him. Besides, the thought of having to deal with all of Sam's sisters is exhausting." Sam, being my boyfriend. "Did I tell you his father has two wives?"

'No, you did not."

"Well, he does. Wait, do you even know he's a pastor?"

"He is? I didn't know though."

"He's a pastor o. What sort of pastor marries two wives? I'm sure he must be a fake pastor. The type that scams his church members of offerings and tithes. Someone even told me his mother cheated on his father many times. You remember when....?" I blabbed on, and I didn't even pause to think. Sure, everything I said was true, but I didn't have that disposition towards him. I was still madly in love with him, I was just angry, and jealous and I was letting off steam the only way my younger self knew how to, rant.

I heard the sound of a male clearing his throat, "Seyi, do you mean all that you said?" It was Sam. How come, I was only just speaking to Tayo? I'm such a fool, the beep I heard the other time was to indicate a conference call. I looked at my phone screen and confirmed, Sam was on the call. Tayo added him without telling me and made it a call for three.

"Tayo, what did you do?" That was the only question I could ask before I dropped the call. I didn't believe she could do that to me. I always sensed an undercurrent of adoration towards Sam whenever Tayo and I were talking about him, even though she had never seen him in person. I just chalked it up to my jealous self, it was not what I thought I surmised. I was too naive.

"Hi, Seyi. How are you doing?" Tayo asked I had run into her at a shopping mall in town a few years later.

I ignored her and went about my way, the past incident was still fresh in my mind. Sam and I broke up because of that issue, he was willing to forgive me, but the shame of the things I said didn't let me loosen up. The things I said were hurtful, I doubt if I could have let go if someone said the same about my family.

I considered Tayo a betrayer and I never spoke to her again cause of that incident. She traveled out of the country for her university education and kept asking for my forgiveness, but I was adamant. She ruined my relationship and betrayed my trust, it was an unforgivable sin.

Earlier this year, I attended a wedding ceremony in my hometown and saw Tope, Tayo's baby sister there. We exchanged pleasantries, I didn't have beef with her, it was her sister.

"Tope, how have you been? Been a while."

"I've been good, Seyi. What about you?"

"Same. You look good." Her phone rings and she picks it up. "Hello, Dad. You haven't heard from her? I'm sure she's fine. You worry too much. I'll call her and tell her to reach out to you." She drops the call and apologizes to me, "Sorry about, that, it was my Dad."

"Uh-huh." I said noncomittally, I wasn't interested in their family issues."

"He worries too much about Tayo since she had her last asthma attack. He never stops worrying, I think the distance is frustrating him too."

"Asthma attack? Does Tayo have asthma?" I asked wide-eyed.
"You are kidding, right? She's had it since she was born according to my parents. She's your friend, how can you not know?"

I guess her sister didn't update her on our relationship status "I didn't know, it never came up. Is it bad?"

"It isn't all that bad, she manages it well, she hasn't had an episode in over 15 years, until this recent one. Thank God her boyfriend was close. He rushed her to the hospital and called to inform us about it. My Dad has been restless since then even though she's better now. If not because she's in America, I'm sure he would have gone to see her."
I reflected on our conversation after I got home. I never knew Tayo had asthma, and here I was still holding on to a grudge of many years, while she had to use medications all the time to manage her condition. What if God forbid, the unexpected happens, would I then forgive her? My father's loss has taught me some lesson, I'm never going to wait until someone dies before I reconcile with them.
I got her number from her sister and called her some days later. "Hello, Tayo, it's Seyi," I said as soon as she picked up.

"Which Seyi?" She asked.

"It's Seyi Alagbe from..."

"Ogbomoso." She completed it for me.
"Oh my God! I can't believe this. Seyi, I'm so sorry for everything I did. I would apologize every day if need be. I was jealous envious, selfish, and wicked. I liked Sam, but I shouldn't have ruined things for you."

"It's okay, Tayo. It's all water under the bridge? It's been so long."

"The duration doesn't excuse what I did. I'm so sorry."

We spoke for a long time, many hours, and relived so many beautiful moments. I felt bad that I threw everything away for a grudge I held against her.

I'm not excusing what she did, but she has apologized and realized her mistake. I have learned many life lessons from it, friends are not reliable and you should always keep your stuff private.

Anyway, to err is human, to forgive is divine. Tayo is coming home to Nigeria for the celebrations and we have made plans to make up properly.
It's been a long time coming. We'll get to kiss and make up or how do they say??? Life's too short to hold on to grudges.