ILLUSION.

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"What did you score?" Betty's mother asked as soon as she entered the house. She had gone to check her jamb (Joint Admissions Matriculation Board) score which was the major determinant of whether she would be eligible to gain admission into the university.

"I scored 204, Mom," She replied, looking sullenly at her.

"You can't study law with that score. Your father isn't going to be happy."

Her Dad had always been her biggest cheerleader on the issue of studying law. He was a security agent, and he had lawyer friends, so the moment she declared that she wanted to study law when she was in senior secondary school, he rooted hard for her.

The jamb cut-off score for law that year was 240, and she didn't make it.

"Betty, what do you want to do now that you didn't make the cut-off for law?" Her father asked after dinner that night.

"I don't know yet, sir."

"You know I have always supported your decision to study law? I don't see how it's going to be possible to study law anymore.

Desperate to please him, "Why don't I wait till next year and retry?"

"Are you sure, though? Why not study another course?"

"I'm sure, Dad. I don't want to study another course apart from law. I'll wait until next year."

She of course didn't know the consequence of that statement then, she was a teenager, fresh out of secondary school and very young. Her mates began to leave for university that year, and she stayed back home. She could have studied another course with that score, but it had to be law.

Why law though? She had always been well-versed in stating her case whenever she was caught doing something wrong. She also used to defend her classmates, schoolmates, and everyone in her peer group around the environment whenever they got into trouble. It earned her the nickname, lawyer, and since then, it got into her head, and her father was solidly behind her.

"How come you got 204 last year and 198 this year?" Her father asked roaring.

She didn't know, but it's easy enough to determine why she scored lower. Last year, she was fresh out of secondary school, and everything she learned in school was still clear in her mind so, she could remember most of them. This year, she attended coaching outside the school environment, and it wasn't really of the same standards.

The list of distractions at coaching classes was endless, distractions from learners who only came to coaching to seek out boyfriends and girlfriends, some just came to satisfy their parent's desires to see them get coached and probably ace their jamb scores. There was also a group of the category of drug users and smokers who stayed back after classes to make use of the empty classes. You could always see the trail they left the next day during classes, cigarette butts, and bottles of many unexplainable things.

"I don't know, sir. I put in my best." She replied in low tones.

"If 198 is your best, then you are going to have to put in the best of the best next year to score enough to qualify for your post-jamb exam in law next year."

"Don't let her wait another year, why not let her study another course, must it be law?" Het mother asked barely maintaining composure.

"Ask her if she wants to study another course, it's only law she wants to study." Betty's father retorted.

"It's true, it's law I want to study," She replied uncertainly, avoiding her mother's gaze.

"I hope you know most of your mates are in their second year of university already while you are fooling around." Her mother says, exiting angrily, and leaving Betty with her father.

She retook the jamb examinations in the third year, and guess what? She scored below the cut-off for law again. At this point, she couldn't take it anymore, her mates were already in their third year in the university and she was still at home.

"I have an idea, sir." She managed to say while shrinking under the venom-filled look her father gave her.

"Let's hear it, you have managed to underscore three times, your idea couldn't be any worse."

"I was thinking I should study another course in my first year at the university, and make a switch to law in the second year," She told him still looking at the floor. Betty couldn't bear to wait for another year, whatever dream she had to study law has since fled in her years of staying idle at home. She just wanted to leave the house and go to the university.

Linguistics and Communication studies was her second choice of course at the university she applied to. She sat for the post-jamb examinations and was offered Linguistics and Communications Studies.

She resumed her first year when her mates were in their third year. Her father reminded her of the switch she was supposed to make to the law department in her second year, but she flat out told him that dealing with the stress of studying Linguistics is hard enough, she wouldn't be making the switch to study law anymore, Linguistics was just fine.

Her father grudgingly accepted and she continued. Betty graduated seven years after instead of four years. Truth is, while Linguistics is a very good course, her heart wasn't in it. Law was her dream, her love but the wait was too long. Anyway, Betty graduated as a linguist and she has lots to show for it.

"Honestly, Dad, I'm tired of the lawlessness going on in this country. Citizens are constantly being cheated because they don't know their rights." Betty told her
father while driving him to a doctor's appointment. She had come into town the previous day with her baby to get his local government identification done, and they stayed in her parents' house.

"You should have gotten used to it, there's only so much we can do. I made sure I spent my years on the force trying to do good, but not all my colleagues reasoned with me."

"I wish there was something I could do," Bettyq. said regrettably.

"You once had an opportunity to do something, but you abandoned your quest for justice. You didn't eventually study law like you have always wanted."

"I know Dad, don't remind me. I wish it wasn't so late though."

"Who says it is?" He asked, looking at her seriously.

She laughed nervously, "I finished university a few years ago, Dad. I'm married and I have a newborn baby. I'm done with schooling, much less in Nigeria."

"You could still re-enroll and get a law degree. it's just four years, and with the experience you have now, I'm sure it won't be difficult for you, you will take it seriously."

"I can't afford to, Dad. My husband and I have lots of commitments and financially, I'm not capable right now." She says trying to understand how the conversation got to that point. The idea certainly held some appeal, studying law is her passion, her dream, but there's just too much to consider.

"I could sponsor you. I'll pay your tuition and everything else that comes with it. If you want to, you can still study law." Her father says, regarding her more seriously.

"You are retired now, Dad. You have done your part and sent me to school, I even cost you extra. I spent three extra years. You have done enough, Dad."

"Listen to me, if you are interested in studying law, don't worry about the finances, I'll sponsor you as long as it's what you want."

She knew his mind was made up, and being the principled person that he was, as long as he's made up his mind, the rest never mattered.

"I'll have to discuss this with my husband. Thank you, Dad."

"You do that, and let me know what you decide."

Discussing it with her husband was just a formality, her mind was made up at this point, and she was already excited about the new journey ahead of her. She was going to have to find a nanny for her baby, take a leave of absence or resign from her current job, and make lots of sacrifices, but it could still work, and it was going to be worth it. She would be going back to school with so much clarity this time and there won't be any room for mistakes. Sure, she could do that.

"Thank you so much, Dad. I'm so grateful."

She traveled back home a few days later and plans were underway to get her registered for the next Jamb examinations the following year.

She was at work one day when she received the news that her Father was dead and with him the actualization of her lifelong dream of becoming a lawyer. There was almost no explanation for his sudden death, but he was old and had long-term health issues.

His death was the most painful thing she ever felt and next to it, the realization that her dream of being a lawyer was just that, a dream.

It's been years since his death, and sometimes she still toys with the idea that maybe once her second son is weaned, she could study law but where would she start really?

Life hasn't been any fair, and it keeps throwing one challenge after the other. She's no longer a teenager who has all her life ahead of her, She's a single mother of two kids, and the hustle is never-ending. Not every dream comes to reality, she has since come to terms with that, and she's made her peace with it.