I hope I'm not too late to join this week's Ladies of Hive contest #191. I planned to write this post yesterday, but life outside of HIVE kept me busy, and finding the time was a challenge. Nonetheless, the topics for this week intrigued me. Out of the two options provided, I chose the first one:

If you had the opportunity to offer guidance and wisdom to your younger self, what insights or recommendations would you share?

Having lived for nearly half a century, I have accumulated a wealth of wisdom and advice that I would love to share with my younger self. There are many regrets and countless things I wish I had done differently. But that's the nature of life—we can never know what lies ahead until we experience it. So, what wisdom would I impart to my younger self if given the chance? I've listed seven key pieces of advice, but I'll share just three here.

👶 Heal your inner child 👶

The concept of "healing your inner child" has only gained widespread recognition in recent years. While it may have been practiced in Western countries, it was certainly unfamiliar to me in Malaysia until recently.

But what does healing your inner child mean? It refers to the process of addressing and resolving unresolved emotions, traumas, and negative experiences from childhood. This concept is based on the idea that everyone has an "inner child" within them, representing their early experiences, feelings, and memories.

So, it's understandable that I wasn't aware of or knowledgeable about this practice back then. Nonetheless, I would still advise my younger self to embark on the journey of connecting with the wounded child within and to work through the past hurts inflicted by well-meaning adults.

I wish I had the opportunity to start this journey much earlier, perhaps in my 20s. Healing is a challenging process that can take years, but the sooner we face and accept our past hurts, the sooner we can heal and become the best versions of ourselves. Unresolved traumas and hurts can negatively affect our relationships and may even pass dysfunctions to our children.

Therefore, I would advise my younger self to acknowledge the unresolved issues or traumas from childhood that still affect me. It's important to allow myself to feel and express the emotions that were suppressed or ignored during those years. I should treat myself with kindness and understanding, providing the care, support, and nurturing that I didn't receive as a child.

👶 Find yourself 👶

Another important thing I would like to tell my younger self is to stress the importance of finding myself before committing to any serious relationship. I would encourage exploring passions, interests, and values without the influence of a partner's expectations. Understanding my identity, what makes me happy, and what I stand for is important for a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

It is crucial to learn from past experiences, both positive and negative. Knowing how previous relationships and life events have shaped me helps me grow and avoid repeating mistakes. I would encourage my younger self to embrace my authentic self by accepting my strengths and weaknesses. I need to be true to who I am rather than conforming to someone else’s expectations. Building self-confidence and self-esteem is an ongoing journey, and I should challenge negative self-beliefs while celebrating my achievements, no matter how small.

Setting personal goals and priorities gives a clear sense of direction and purpose, ensuring I don’t lose myself in a relationship. Meaningful connections with friends and mentors who support and inspire me are invaluable, providing a safe space to grow and offering insights into myself.

And finally, I would advise seeking guidance from mentor who can offer support and insights. Finding myself is an ongoing process, and committing to a serious relationship should come from a place of self-awareness and confidence. By understanding who I am first, I can ensure any relationship I enter is healthy, balanced, and fulfilling for both partners.

👶 Never compare 👶

This advice likely resonates with many: instead of comparing myself to others, I focus on comparing myself to my past self.

If I could advise my younger self, I would emphasize the importance of never comparing myself to others but rather to my past self. It's easy to get caught up in measuring success against the achievements of peers or societal expectations, but true growth comes from personal progress over time. Everyone shines in their own time, and just because I may not excel at something now doesn't mean I won't succeed in the future. By focusing on my own journey and improvement, I can build resilience and confidence in my abilities. This approach encourages a healthier mindset, where challenges become opportunities for growth rather than reasons for self-doubt. Embracing this mindset early on would have empowered me to appreciate my unique path and achievements, and allow me to celebrate my progress without feeling inadequate compared to others.

These are the three pieces of wisdom I would share with my younger self. I have deliberately avoided sharing personal experiences that relate to this advice, which may make it sound somewhat impersonal. While I have numerous experiences that align with these principles, I believe they are best kept private. Although I could list more, it would make this post excessively lengthy. I intend to reserve the remainder for future posts.

What do you think about this advice?

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Note: All images used belong to me unless stated otherwise.

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