My Mental Health Is My First Priority

It is better off losing someone else than losing myself*

This is a saying that I always tell myself, since I left a very toxic relationship, it is a saying I use in consoling myself whenever I feel like I miss him, late last year exactly in the month of Dec, I had serious issues with my ex and it brought me so down, infact I was actually losing myself for someone who didn’t really care if I was okay or not, Emotionally I was suffering, Mentally I was suffering like I didn’t even understand if I was in a relationship or I was dating myself.
Things went from bad to worse, we literally quarreled about little things, during Christmas week, He didn’t even check on me, I was the one that wished him “merry Christmas”, still I was calm and didn’t want to quarrel about anything, some days to Christmas…I posted some pictures of myself looking good and all, and there was no compliments from him , despite the fact that I spent my own money from hair to new clothes, instead of at least complimenting the beauty that God has created, he went to start accusing me of seeing someone else with the new clothes and that whenever I was coming to see him I never dress fine and I was actually dumbfound.

Because why would I even wear my clothes to come see you when you never give money to buy any new clothes, this exact thing happened on the 26th of Dec last year, I got angry and we had a fight, and he said I should never text him nor call him, I took those words personally and never called him, new years day came and left, January even finished then he came and started calling me on the 3rd of Feb, I shuned him and stood on my ground because the relationship thing was waving me off balance. I blocked him on every social media, I blocked his contact because I didn’t want any form of discussion between us.

Recently, some months back I got to see him because where I go to learn baking from quite close to his house, he has been begging, telling me how he took my love for granted and all, but I wasn’t really buying it, the sparked in the relationship had left a long time ago, if I were to choose, I did choose my mental health again again, I told him to his face that I have found peace where I am now, I don’t need to beg for love from him or anyone else, and I know he has been so pained because he keeps calling from time to time with another number but I don’t even pick.
Yesterday after church service, my cousin told me that she had a serious gist for me, and it got me surprised because me and her haven’t really sat to gist about anything serious before, on our way home in their car, she brought up my ex’s name and asked if I knew him and I said yes, she bagan to tell how he has been stalking her for some years now, and they were even supposed to meet at a supermarket, but he got angry at her because while they were on call he heard a male voice in the background, she was trying to call him back but he didn’tpick, so she was confused and was telling her elder sister about him, fortunately her sister knew that me and the guy were in a relationship but didn’t know that we had broken up.

To think that he even sent me some pictures we took together on telegram yesterday morning, I really don’t understand if he was just trying to spite me or date two sisters, because he actually knew that we cousins right from the start.
I’m so thankful to myself that I had the courage to let him go because the whole relationship thing was becoming sour and toxic.

THANKS FOR READING🌺🌼