ADVICE IS A CHOICE, YOU EITHER TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

This is another intriguing prompt for this week Thinkers Corner by @kenechukwu97. I really enjoy this month's challenge, it gives me the ability to dig seriously into my innermost thoughts.

Do you need to stop telling someone what to do? Why? Tell us about it in this week's challenge!

Advising people can be annoying at times. I used to believe that we should only provide advice to the people we love, but that is no longer the case. People who receive advice sometimes have ulterior motives and feel like they are being controlled. Because I dislike the word "control," I choose to ignore most things rather than give advice.

Source

I had a roommate in my first year of college who loved to go out and never attended lectures. I took my time to chat with her and give her advice about her improper behavior.

This particular day she went out as usual and stayed overnight, she came back the next day and couldn't make it to class, we had an urgent test and the lecturer promised to record it as our assessment, when I returned home I told her all that happened in school and also advice her about life, she shouted at me and ask if I was the one paying her school fees, the first statement pissed me off "Are you my parent" I was amazed at such statement from her and decided to pretend as if nothing happened.

I read a book some days after the incident and it says that advising someone all the time can make them feel less independent and autonomous. The freedom of everyone to make their own decisions and choices must be respected.

Also, Giving someone constant advice can also result in a power imbalance that hinders sincere communication and self-assurance in a friendship. Putting a high value on effort, communication, and careful listening can help to foster healthy relationships.

But to me I don't think I am doing much, all I want is for her to have a better life and face what she was in school for not to be partying every day, we avoided me for the semester because I couldn't console her excesses and left the house we paid for because of my constant advice.

After she left she became the talk of the town, one of the big girls on campus and she always told people that I acted as if I was her parent and my life was so boring and she couldn't live with me that was why she left the house, I heard this from a course mate and this made me vow never to advise people again.

But not because of what she said to me or how she reacted but because I think refusing to advise people at times will help them become more capable of solving their problems. They will need to exercise critical thinking, evaluating situations, and decision-making which is the most important thing in life.

She ran back to me after the first semester results were out, stating that she wished she had followed my advice since she was having problems with her grades, which hindered her from graduating with us.

This teaches her a lesson and that was when I understood that allowing people to make their own decisions and deal with the positive and negative outcomes can help them grow as persons. It gives them the chance to grow more independent and learn from their experiences. She learned her lesson and stopped all night walk and focused more on her studies but I never said anything to her that looked like advice.

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