Older Guys, You Say?
I would start by saying that when I saw this prompt, I smiled. Mainly because whoever must have written had it in for me in some way though I know that it’s possible. But most times you find topics that either relate to what you may have reasoned recently or at least, what has crossed your mind at some point.
And I’ll move on to what most of us already know which is the biological aspect of this whole thing. I’m a lady so I can speak for myself and maybe a lot more ladies when I say that growing up, we all knew that the guys our age weren’t just it. I’ll narrow it to me, personally. I did have a lot of male friends, crushes and potential crushes from guys in my class or my age.
But it would take one conversation. Just one and my high expectations would just crumble even as I’m still maintaining an outward smile that never reached my eyes. (They never noticed the change though. No surprise there.)
It didn’t take more than a few conversations with different guys. Little talking stages made me understand that these guys weren’t just on the same maturity level as I was. I understood that we were all adolescents but why couldn’t your thought process transcend beyond mundane things? Not everything had to go that way. Really.
It amazed me so much that I went to ask a teacher I felt I was close to. Big mistake. I did learn that it was biological and girls just matured faster, thought process included. And that I may most likely be able to resonate more if the guy was some years older. I understood that and may have told her that I’d try to have a conversation and see. I don’t think I said anything more but my name was the talk of the school for weeks. That Tess liked older guys. Immature of her if you ask me.
Anyways, I’ll not digress and just say that I saw for myself months later. I joined Facebook way later than my peers and was still trying to learn how it worked. And I started talking with this guy. We talked for days and I enjoyed conversations with him so much. I don’t even remember the things we’d been talking about. I’m sure they weren’t so deep. Just meaningful conversations.
And so, I impulsively asked how old he was and he told me. He was more than ten years older. And I was still trying to gravitate out of that teenage age. I didn’t know how to handle it. And may have freaked out and ran away, figuratively. But when I eventually got around to reflecting on this, I smiled and said that the backstabber teacher I’d talked to was correct and it just felt right and smoother communicating with older guys. And so, I ruled it as being very much normal. Whether I was labelled weird by my friends or not.
SIKEEEEEEE
That thought process sailed a long time ago. I was rudely awakened years later as I got more mature. And though I still enjoyed and had better conversations, I’ve realized that age isn’t a sign of maturity at all. I’ve come in contact with many guys that were several years older and I was slack-jawed, LITERALLY, by the things they said and the way they reasoned generally.
I must have thought that because they were older, that automatically made them in sync with me. But obviously, that’s not the case a good number of times. I remember a time when my eyes practically glazed over with boredom as this guy rambled on. He didn’t notice that I was a few seconds from dozing off, of course. And then he was like “You’re enjoying my gist so much, you can’t even speak right?” And polite lady that I was, I said, “Of course.” He didn’t get the sarcasm. Of course.
And from there I drew my conclusions.
Crux Of The Matter
The crux of the matter to me is that I have taken Age as just a number to new heights. Meaning that whether you’re older or younger, it doesn’t matter as far as there’s mutual understanding between you both. Mostly, older guys may see it better but it doesn’t change the fact that you could have a deeper and more meaningful connection with someone your age. Or even younger.
Therefore, I don’t see a ten to fifteen year age gap as a taboo. I like it and don't mind it one bit. But as far as you’re happy and you have peace with whoever you’re with, age shouldn’t be a problem. Everyone is entitled to their opinions though, but that’s just the way I feel about it. Life is too short to get small-minded or overly worked up about things like this in any case.
Your thoughts, contractions and agreements alike are welcome.🤗
My knowledge about you just increased with 5%📉
That's good to know Kingsleyy.
Welcome 🧐
It will soon deplete too...😂
Omo!
It got depleted by 10%📈 this morning when I woke up.
She knows
I weak🤦
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E choke...
Ha! This one resonated a lot. I, too, always thought age is just a number, in many ways. I've dated a lot of people who were quite a lot older than me, and it turned out fine, for the most part. Like you, I did wise up to some things, as I got older. One, age definitely isn't an indicator of maturity, like you said. But in a way that's a good way to tell worthwhile guys from the chaff, you know? If you don't know what you want or are acting like a teen in your 30s, then I know you're probably not for me, you know? :D so that helps.
Also, sadly, while some of these age gap relationships can work out really well, it's sometimes the case that people are just in two very different places in their lives, wanting different things and so on.
I don't think 10-15 years as a big deal, either, and I agree -- who has time to get worked up about who someone else is dating? This was great fun to read, and also insightful! It's nice to know you a little better <3
Maybe it's because I am a guy and see things very differently, but damn, 10-15 years is so weird. I understand the perspective, though, and your brilliant points. I just feel that the gap transcends different parts of our lives. For one, we'd have different friends of different age groups.
It's not weird, trust me. Especially if you've seen a lot of relationships like that.
What's the matter @olujay, is it cause you're young?🌚
That's true. I don't know, personally I never mind hanging out with a partner's friends, even if they're older. I mean, some of my own friends are quite a few years older than myself, so it's not such a huge difference, at least for me.
I see what you mean, though, @olujay, it's possible to have too different a childhood, not be able to relate to the same things, but I think that's also a matter of having different personalities, and being a poor fit together, not just about age. Who knows, maybe you meet the lady to change your mind :D
You understand me. Thank you for the insightful response.
But haha...I am not looking for a woman older than me. I don't have a problem with age, actually. A few years older—say one or three—is fine. 15 years is a big no for me.
How are things on your side, if I may ask?
Oh I agree. I think it's different for men, anyway. I think it's a biological response, to seek women of an age, or even younger, as they have higher reproductive chances, maybe? It's just a guess.
Generally? Pretty damn good :D how about you?
I think the changes if reproduction is something most men would consider. I would consider it.
"Pretty damn good" is pretty damn awesome know. I am very well myself. Thank you.
I'm glad. Nice to have met you! :)
Yeah, most of the age gap relationships are really nice but you meet some other guys and it's like a rude awakening. But we're still alive, yunno, and we'll keep running into more people. So we'll keep having new experiences. Hopefully, good ones.
I'm so happy you enjoyed reading dearest @honeydue
And it's nice that you know me a bit more now.🤗
I am 41 and some days I feel like the little boy inside of me ( my inner child ), on other days I feel like an old man, someone who has lived several lives.
Occasionally, I feel around my 'age'.
In the end, age is just a number, I feel it's mainly about a person's soul.
Nice write up.
Yeah, there are days we feel like that.
Yeah.... it's souls that connect. Age has nothing to do with it.
Somehow I thought you were older than this. That's nice. Thanks for reading.🤗
I hope you didn't base that on the pictures above my post from 4 days ago ;<)
If you'd see me, you would probably think I was
wayyounger ( aside from some grey hairs )and then, older again, once I really start talking.
Although, it really differs from day to day.
See you around!
🤗
Funny enough, I didn't see that post of yours. But I just saw it and you do actually look younger.
But I get that you could sound older once you start dishing those pearls of wisdom from your writing.😁
Haha! I can't help acting like a philosoraptor at times ;<)
And those pearls of wisdom come from the beyond. I just catch them with my metaphorical scoop net. It still intrigues me where ideas come from...
And here's another 🦖hug!
with tiny arms and no claws
Thank for the clawless hug.🤗
Hi @jhymi
Thank you for using the #contests tag. Upvoted.
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Okay. Thanks. I'll ensure to do that next time.
Age is just a number. Maturity rules. Just like you, I have met men who speak gibberish and unlike you, I prefer to show my disgust.
I do agree everyone is entitled to their opinions and I do agree with it.
Yeah, I guess I'm too polite for my own good. I am learning though, to be blunt and say just how I feel.
Thanks for your comment.✨
The reason why I love you so much (apart from the fact that we are so alike and that you are just amazeballs) is the way you think. It is really difficult to meet people like you with such caliber and thought processes. You can hold a conversation and you are sooooo, damn good when it comes to intelligent topics. I can see why it would be especially hard for you to find someone like you. The wave-length is unparalleled.
Stop, any more hype and you'll see a dark girl turn red.😊
Anyways, my quests to find someone like me has not been so successful as you know..but I'm learning to limit my expectations while still not lowering the qualities I want. But yeah, a person able to hold intelligent conversations will always be up there.
Thank you for making me smile with this lovely comment dear.🤗
I thought you've always been red sha. I mean... Konji wan strangle you...🏃
I refuse to see this comment.
Inner peace.🧘🏽♀️🧘🏽♀️
Lmao... Yoga yoga 😂
Hahahha that's funny, "You're enjoying my gist so much, you can't even speak right?" "Ofcourse." While falling asleep.
I've hung out with people before and sat silently while they spoke at length about some completely boring subject.
A friend of mine would get passionate about stuff, and when he got into it, he got into it in a big way. Crypto was one of the things he got into back in 2017, and he would go on and on about it - while I was interested, I was a bit confused by it and he insisted on only talking technical stuff. Then, there was an MMO game he got into and that was all he spoke about, I liked the game, but after a few days there wasn't much left to talk about... but he managed to find stuff to say.
Infairness, I would encourage him to talk about those things he liked, he was very quiet and would rarely say more than a few words, so it was nice hearing him with a bit of passion in his voice.
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To be honest,I don't know if they're the ones that are rude and insensitive or we're the ones that should learn to speak up more and say just how we're feeling.
We're similar in the sense that I also encourage my friends, especially the quiet ones to talk about the things they like but it would also be nice if they knew when it's time to change to something else right?
I think being able to 'read the room' is a good skill to know, and it's something that helps to get some good conversations going, I think we're all guilty of sometimes not reading it, but some are worse than others haha
Yeah, being more direct is probably the best thing to do in these situations, but it can be tough sometimes.
Yeah, that's true. Most times I'm afraid said friends would clam up and not talk again so you just give them leverage. Life gets a lot complicated that we would want it to be.
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I was waiting for the part where you came to realise that people could be old and yet stoopid. And, likewise, people could be so young, yet mature and knowledgeable.
Age, isn't just a number, though. I'll say that. I agree with you, clearly—age isn't something negligible, as it does come with personality variances in the difference in generations (age groups), but it shouldn't be a measure for intelligence (knowledge-wise and emotionally) and maturity.
Yeah, but the times that the young ones are mature and knowledgeable are few.
I have already ascertained that age isn't by any means a measure of intelligence or maturity but it's nice that you feel that way too.
hehe. It's the first time I am able to know. I wasn't aware of it. Anyway, It doesn't matter here. I know you because of your writing and it's enough for me.
Naturally, girls are more mature than boys of the same age but It does not happen all the time because I have seen a boy also who behaves more maturely than his age. Besides, if two person has same kind of mentality meaningful conversation is natural.
Yeah. I'm guessing a lot a lot of people don't know. Maybe it's my name. Lol
Anyways I'm grateful for your thoughtful comment. Thank you so much for stopping by @intishar
As one of my primary school teachers so charmingly summed up:
'Most people mature over time, but some people - just grow.
I would say it is not matter of being either old or young. I think it is matter of taking responsibility and accountability. That is what actually make you 'mature', not stupid digits.
Really interesting point of view, good read:)
Wow... You're primary school teacher was really wise to say that.
And yeah, digits as we've come to realize are useless in determining the maturity of a person.
Thanks for stopping by dearest Strega.✨
I really like it when words are highly concentrated and loaded with meaning:)
Always pleasure!
I agree with your point of view, at some point even older guys tend to behave immature. Maturity is usually from the aspect of personal growth
#dreemport
You're right, it's all about personal growth. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.✨
I can relate with you on this lol😴😴… normally I would think that younger guys are so just immature and quite unreasonable!
Unfortunately, I have an accountable reason to say that not all young guys are immature!
Sometimes maturity is forced on the younger folks because of the experiences and challenges of life they have had. They are forced to reason faster and behave maturely and in so doing they assimilate this and show maturity at their younger age.
And yeah, it’s true when they say “Women mature faster than men” Not all women though lol! When I have conversations with young guys in particular I always notice the difference but like you said “maturity doesn't come with age” I have witnessed a conversation with an elderly man but he lacks a sense of reasoning.
In essence, everyone has compatibility but it has to be paired! And unfortunately, if it doesn’t pair you won’t see the maturity. I enjoyed reading this article from Dreemport as I am a #dreemer too!
So very lovely to hear from you dearest Cesca. A lot of us admit on this thing and it's nice to see that you're not exactly contradictory. It's also great to know you a little better. Thanks for your insightful comment.🤗
I love your concluding part as well, connection is a sensitive requirements in making this great choice. As for me e, I wouldn't marry an oldie for any reason, I am conscious of age gap in marriage. However, life is a choice, we are all entitled to our choices 😉
Oldie?
That's hilarious. You're right though. We are all entitled to our own choices. It's nice that you stopped by.✨
I agree with you, I've always been into guys older. at first, I thought it was weird but as I got older I understood why. I found younger guys annoying (not all, but the majority of them)....
Girl I'm telling you there's no shame in it. If that's who you like, that's who you like and it's nobody else's business but yours.
It doesn't make you weird. And even if people say you're weird, I usually say normal is boring.
So nice to meet you.🤗
Yes! It isn't, only society makes you feel weird dating someone older.
Nice to meet you too🤗