Death | LOH #160 week contest

Do you know someone dear to your heart who passed away unexpectedly? In case he/she can read your letter from heaven, what do you want to tell him/her? You can express your feelings, emotions, and everything else you've been holding inside that remained unspoken before he/she passed away.

In 2001 my stepfather died, I was still 5 years old and in a few months I was going to turn 6. It was night, probably 11 or 12, my mother was already asleep, suddenly we heard a car and then they knocked on the door very loudly, you could hear them shouting my mother's name, she ran away and I went behind to check on my mother, at that moment they gave her the news that he died. My stepfather was in the hospital and I don't remember exactly what the reason was that took him there, I know that he was hospitalized and that day we had gone to visit him in the afternoon, he had breathing tubes, that night my mother didn't tell me and in fact she did not tell me until several years later, that that night while he was sleeping he removed the tubes that helped him breathe and died of respiratory arrest. And that night when they told my mother, she didn't say anything to me either. Days later I was going to what would be his funeral, certainly my mother told me the news, I was very confused, I remember when I entered that room full of people, so many people that I did not know and believe it or not that day I felt very heavy, I felt like everything was a hoax, like I was surrounded by pure lying people, I also remember when I approached the coffin to look at him and at that moment I was so confused, unable to feel anything, unable to cry, I saw everyone crying and I thought they were crying fakely, I saw how they buried him and I still didn't have a single tear. As time goes by, I remember one day when I cried like never before... And there is a strange thing about the scent of him, I would never forget the smell of him. One day, around 2019, I was leaving the train station and I stopped for a moment to watch the sunset and the smell of his perfume appeared. After all these years, when I smelled his perfume, the first thing that came out of my mouth was his name and I looked around desperately looking for him, and there was no one, the fact that there was no one scared me because I wondered where the smell came from, I felt scared and at the same time I thought it was him. I swear to you that since he died just that day in 2019 I smelled his perfume again and I have never smelled anything like it again.

And what I wanted to say is just thank you, my days were happier while you were around, I didn't know until I lost you, I lived through difficult times and growing up with only one mother made me feel very alone, but I will never forget you, I hope that where whatever you are, you can be proud of me and the woman I am becoming.