4 April, 2025 @mariannewest's Freewrite Writing Prompt (Day 2696) | Prompt: let me breathe (déjame respirar)

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The blazing midday sun replaced the cool morning as Mantua stood gazing out over the far horizon. His six-foot two inch frame that towered over most his friends shrank in the midst of the gigantic mountains in the distance. Smooth skin not fitting for a young man of seventeen defied his heritage. His thick jet black hair glistened in rays that fell upon his bronze shoulders. A body bred for a warrior. Smokey eyes absorbed the landscape as he pondered his future among his tribesmen.

Behind him, death blanketed the landscape. Lingering odors refused to dissipate and provide relief to the villagers. He choked back the urge to release the vomit. Others may be spying. His heritage wouldn't allow such display. For a moment, he remembered how his father taught him the secret to overcoming the stench. The technique still eluded him.

Before him, the unexplored. He searched the sky, then lowered his gaze to admire the beauty of the lush forest.

A strong grip on his right shoulder stirred him to the present. He turned, but this time, did not smile at the sight of the leader. Instead, he poured out the trouble that had burdened him that past year. Without a word, he turned away from his father less courage might dissolve. It was now else enter the ritual that would lead him toward a bloody path.

"Beyond the richness, there lies mountains that is a world unknown to me. If I'm to gain experience and reach manhood as the elders demand, then release me. Let me go. Let me breathe air other than the stench of death surrounding your generals' conquests."

Silence. Then, a thunderous voice rang in Mantua's ear.

"But where will you go, my son?! Surely, our enemies on the other side will devour you." Chief Orrizo bellowed.

"Where I go and what I encounter is for me only. I want peace in this land. I want to go find others who want peace. Perhaps I can be a bridge to the future where all tribes come together and learn to know and live with each other. Something has stirred deep inside me. I won't raise my hand to my people who do not look like me."

Chief Orrizo gazed deeply into his son's eyes, then let escape a mocking laugh.

"But you only carry a spear for fishing. How will you defend yourself?"

Mantua sighed heavily, then glanced away over the far horizon. "I don't believe every tribe who lives on this vast land carries vengeance in their hearts for past wrongs. If no one stops killing, how much longer will it take for none of us to survive?"

"You are wrong! I tell you. You are turning your back on those who came before you. Were it not for them, our tribe would not hold all the land on this side of the mountain."

Mantua's nose flared. How many moons had he been forced to sit at the fireside and listen to the conquering tales of bloodshed? His stomach soured at the thought of blood oozing from his kinsmen's chest where spears penetrated to the other side.

In a moment's rage, Mantua clenched his fist, but released them and looked away as his father jerked his head back, noticing the signs of disrespect and challenge to his authority. He knew anger would not sway his tribe's fearless leader. I a softer tone, he lamented.

"Perhaps you are right, father. I'm your last son. You only son. You've lost all five before me to this war that will never end. Who will carry your seed into tomorrow if I die in the battle you are planning? How much land is enough for our people. Will you not leave any for others who are of our blood?"

Chief Orrizo's eyes grew dark. No one had ever spoken to him in that manner. Immediately, his thoughts turned to his wife. Those same words she uttered only a few months earlier.

He turned to walk away, but not before ordering harshly,

"Go then, if you must. But never return. For you have shamed me this day before my people. On a day's wind, other chiefs will hear of this disobedience and betrayal. It will wound me deeply, but at least I'll not have to look upon your face any longer."

Mantua turned to face his father. He embraced his razor stiff back, and cried.

"I'll return father. And I'll return with my enemies ready to go forth in peace in our lands. I'll show you and the other elders what if possible if only one of us lay down his spear and listen to the other in sincerity. I'll return and show you."

Mantua paused, then continued.

"If I never return, then you will know that I have failed. But remember this, father. I will have tried to end the thousand years of bloodshed amongst our people. Remember, and tell others. Others not yet of age may want to try; and try again, until there is peace for as long as it can last."

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For my theme, I was inspired by and utilized the @daily.prompt's publishing of 4 april 2025, @mariannewest's Freewrite Writing Prompt Day 2696: let me breathe.

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! [A Breath of Fresh AIr]

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Un soplo de aire fresco

El sol abrasador del mediodía sustituyó al fresco de la mañana mientras Mantua contemplaba el lejano horizonte. Su metro noventa, que sobresalía por encima de la mayoría de sus amigos, se encogía en medio de las gigantescas montañas que se divisaban a lo lejos. Su piel suave, impropia de un joven de diecisiete años, desafiaba su herencia. Su espeso pelo negro azabache brillaba con los rayos que caían sobre sus hombros de bronce. Un cuerpo criado para un guerrero. Sus ojos ahumados absorbieron el paisaje mientras reflexionaba sobre su futuro entre los miembros de su tribu.

Detrás de él, la muerte cubría el paisaje. Los olores persistentes se negaban a disiparse y aliviar a los aldeanos. Ahogó las ganas de soltar el vómito. Otros podrían estar espiando. Su herencia no permitiría tal exhibición. Por un momento, recordó cómo su padre le enseñó el secreto para superar el hedor. La técnica aún se le escapaba.

Ante él, lo inexplorado. Buscó en el cielo, luego bajó la mirada para admirar la belleza del frondoso bosque.

Un fuerte apretón en su hombro derecho le hizo volver al presente. Se giró, pero esta vez no sonrió al ver al líder. En su lugar, se desahogó con los problemas que le habían agobiado aquel último año. Sin mediar palabra, se apartó de su padre menos coraje pudiera disolverse. Ahora era más entrar en el ritual que le conduciría hacia un camino sangriento.

*"Más allá de la riqueza de esas montañas hay un mundo desconocido para mí.

Si he de ganar experiencia y alcanzar la virilidad como exigen los ancianos, libérame.Suéltame.Déjame respirar otro aire que no sea el hedor a muerte que rodea las conquistas de tus generales. «*

Silencio.Entonces, una voz atronadora sonó en el oído de Mantua.

«Pero, ¿adónde irás, hijo mío?Seguramente, nuestros enemigos del otro lado de te devorarán».El jefe Orrizo bramó.

"Adonde vaya y lo que me encuentre es sólo para mí.Quiero la paz en sta tierra.Quiero ir a buscar a otros que quieran la paz.Quizá pueda ser un puente hacia el futuro en el que todas las tribus se unan y aprendan a conocerse y a convivir. Algo se ha agitado en mi interior.No levantaré la mano a mi gente que no se parece a mí «.

El jefe Orrizo miró profundamente a los ojos de su hijo y luego dejó escapar una risa burlona.

«Pero tú sólo llevas una lanza para pescar.¿Cómo te defenderás?».

Mantua suspiró pesadamente, luego miró hacia el lejano horizonte.*"No creo que todas las tribus que viven en esta vasta tierra lleven en el corazón la venganza por los males del pasado.

Si nadie deja de matar, ¿cuánto tiempo más tardaremos en no sobrevivir ninguno de nosotros? «*.

«¡Te equivocas! Os lo digo yo. Estáis dando la espalda a los que vinieron antes que vosotros. Si no fuera por ellos, nuestra tribu no tendría toda la tierra a este lado de la montaña».

A Mantua se le encendió la nariz. ¿Cuántas lunas se había visto obligado a sentarse junto al fuego y escuchar las historias de sangre derramada de los conquistadores?Se le revolvió el estómago al pensar en la sangre que rezumaba del pecho de sus parientes cuando las lanzas penetraban por el otro lado.

En un momento de rabia, Mantua apretó los puños, pero los soltó y apartó la mirada cuando su padre echó la cabeza hacia atrás, al notar los signos de falta de respeto y desafío a su autoridad. Sabía que la ira no lograría doblegar al intrépido líder de su tribu.En un tono más suave, se lamentó.

"Quizá tengas razón, padre.Soy tu último hijo.Tu único hijo. Has perdido a los cinco antes que yo en esta guerra que nunca terminará.¿Quién llevará tu semilla hasta el mañana si yo muero en la batalla que estás planeando?¿Cuánta tierra es suficiente para nuestro pueblo?¿No dejarás ninguna para otros que son de nuestra sangre? «.

Los ojos del jefe Orrizo se ensombrecieron.Nunca nadie le había hablado así. Inmediatamente, sus pensamientos se volvieron hacia su esposa. Las mismas palabras que ella había pronunciado sólo unos meses antes.

Se dio la vuelta para alejarse, no sin antes ordenar con dureza,

«Ve entonces, si debes. Pero nunca regreses.Porque hoy me has avergonzado ante mi pueblo. Al viento de un día, otros jefes se enterarán de esta desobediencia y traición.Me herirá profundamente, pero al menos ya no tendré que contemplar tu rostro».

Mantua se volvió para mirar a su padre. Abrazó su espalda rígida y lloró.

"Volveré padre.Y volveré con mis enemigos listos para ir en paz por nuestras tierras.Os mostraré a ti y a los otros ancianos lo que es posible si uno de nosotros deja su lanza y escucha al otro con sinceridad.Volveré y os lo mostraré «.

Mantua hizo una pausa, luego continuó.

*"Si nunca regreso, entonces sabrás que he fracasado. Pero recuerda esto, padre.Habré intentado poner fin a mil años de derramamiento de sangre entre nuestro pueblo.Recuerda, y díselo a otros.Otros que aún no son mayores de edad pueden querer intentarlo; e intentarlo de nuevo, hasta que haya paz tanto tiempo como pueda durar».

Para mi tema, me inspiré y utilicé la publicación de @daily.prompt de 4 april 2025, @mariannewest's Freewrite Writing Prompt Day 2696: let me breathe.

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Good luck everyone with whatever your endeavors.

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SOURCES:
a) JustClickindiva's Footer created in Canva utilizing its free background and images used with permission from discord admins.
b) Unless otherwise noted, all photos taken by me with my (i) Samsung Galaxy 10" Tablet, (ii) Samsung Phone, & (iii) FUJI FinePix S3380 - 14 Mega Pixels Digital Camera
c) Purple Butterfly part of purchased set of Spiritual Clip Art for my Personal Use
d) All Community logos, banners, page dividers used with permission of Discord Channel admins.
e) Ladies of Hive banner used with permission of and in accordance with the admin's guidelines
f) Thumbnail Image created by me in Canva.
g) "Flames." What is Apophysis 2.09. https://flam3.com/

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English is my native language.
If translation included, I use DeepL to assist my readers.
Thanks for your patience an understanding
.

El inglés es mi lengua materna.
Si se incluye traducción, utilizo DeepL para ayudar a mis lectores.
Gracias por su paciencia y comprensión.

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18 comments
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What a magnificent story ... and much needed in these times!

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Thank you so much for your lovely compliment for my story. The moment I saw the prompt, the desire to breathe something other than the evil that men do sprang up instantly. I was hoping my story related that feeling. I appreciate that you took time out of your busy schedule to visit and view it. I certainly appreciate your support.

Take care and have a nice start to your week.
!LADY

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However, the bravest people will try a different path, even if it means going against their parents, in order to experience "free breathing."

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Yes, @anggreklestari. I believe the young son was brave to go against his father's wishes to become a warrior. I can imagine celebrating the spoils of war on the backs of lives lost. Instead the son wanted to leave and go find others who wanted peace instead of war. The prompt was a good exercise for me to apply the situations of today and try to find an alternative.

Thanks so much for taking the time to visit and engage with my story. I appreciate it and your support. Take care.

!LADY

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Staying or leaving both have the worst risk, which is death. But leaving has a greater chance of changing fate.

Have a great day!

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Absolutely true @anggreklestari. If one never takes a chance to change history, then history will continue repeating itself.

Thanks so much for your analysis and engagement. Much appreciated.

!LADY

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Mantua’s choice to leave with only a fishing spear really shows he wants peace more than power, and that’s not easy with a father like his haha. The story is priceless
!PIZZA !WINE

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Yes, @thehivetuber there has to be someone on both sides who desire peace more than power. Not only desire it, but go seek it out. The most difficult action is starting reaching out and extending an olive branch so that discussions can begin to find common ground. We already know the alternative...centuries of bloodshed with no end in sight. Until there's no else left to go to battle.

Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate your kind compliment for my story and your support. Take care.

!LADY

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that's true and sad, bloodshed till no one is left. As a popular saying about war, it doesn't determine who's right but who's left

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Just a pathetic story of bravery, my heart went out to the young man
Did he return?

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We don't know whether he returned. He only left to try to to bring peace to his lands. He did leave instructions with his father to tell others what he did IF he didn't return. Hopefully another will take up the mantle and attempt to do the same. Sometimes parents can be unyielding and hold their children back from greatness. Let them explore and see where it takes them. Parents can't prevent all bad things that will happen.

Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate it. Take care.
!LADY

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Such an amazing story, and very inspiring to always take the right path no matter how lonely.

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