I'm Unapologetic About It; I Said What I Said
Yes! It is not uncommon to do or say things that someone else would find offensive. The reason is that people come from all walks of life. Different shades and colors, cultures, races, backgrounds, and upbringing. As such, people can be triggered by even the most trivial things and get offended.
Because we are all humans yet with so many differences, you'd be surprised how your choice of words or actions can be provocative sometimes.
Other times, even the context in which you use certain words can be misunderstood. I remember jokingly saying to someone, “That's mean.” Because he kept forgetting to help pick up an item from the store for the umpteenth time. He got so mad. He said it meant that I was calling him “wicked and selfish.” I remember just standing there with my mouth agape and not knowing what to say. I was dumbstruck that he thought that way.
In that instance, I put myself in his shoes. This person felt insulted because of what he thought I meant. So I apologized before I made him understand that in that context, “That's so mean” was just a way of calling him out because he kept forgetting.
When you are a conscious person, dealing with people can be a little tasking sometimes. This happens because you are emotionally and socially intelligent. You know the right things to say. You know when to catch/throw a banter and when to call it quits. You know when subtle insults are being disguised as compliments. You can tell a snide comment from secret admiration. You feel genuine conversations. You see when a smile reaches the eyes and soul of a person. You can quickly catch the slightest change in the attitude and body language of a person. You pay attention to all of these things because you want to relate amicably with people. You do not want to bag bad blood or step on toes.
However, there is only so much you can do before the next person is offended because you are breathing. You are not going to walk on eggshells all your life because no matter what you say or do, however real or sugar-coated it is, there will always be that one person who gets offended.
So in all of these, I ask myself, “Honey, what would you never apologize for saying or doing?”. The answer is as clear as a blue sky on a summer day.
I will never apologize for saying the truth and doing the right thing. I am not going to apologize for standing up for myself.
Just like music is a universal language. The truth is one undiluted fact recognized around the world.
The truth can often be a bitter pill to swallow for some people. When you speak it to them, it is like pouring salt on an earthworm. They get so annoyed and irritated. Then they pick offense. I will never be caught massaging the ego of such people by apologizing because they are afraid to face the truth.
The same goes for doing what is right. I do not care if the whole world is against me. As long as I feel in my heart that it is the right thing to do, I do not mind if certain people get offended. I'd be doing right by humanity and that's enough reason for me.
Lastly, I will always stand up for myself unapologetically. Some people think that they were put on this earth to ridicule and put others down. When you eventually call their bluff and stand up to them, they get offended. I find such acts disgusting and I do not hesitate to put those kinds of people in their place. And honestly, it feels good. Hehe!
Now I feel like I'm ranting. Lol. If you've endured my post this far, then thank you for coming to my little TED talk. Goodbye!
This post is my response to @kenechukwu97's prompt on the thinkers' Corner 2/3 contest. Follow the link to know. There is still ample time to join the contest.
I like the first story you highlighted. It's very similar to what a typical Nigerian will think when they hear someone say "I got made". We take it as madness while some people use that to express that they were gutted/angry.
I'm all about speaking the truth and saying it to people's faces so they will see where they are messing up and "hopefully" work on that. It's weird because those you would expect to say the truth usually end up being the ones who find it offensive. It's weird, however, that we can't compromise on the truth just because someone wants his/her ego to be inflated.
Also, always stand up for yourself like you always do. The moment we fail to do that, people will walk all over us. It's unacceptable.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this week's topic.
Oh my God, you get it. That “Mad” part. It is like you have to cherry-pick your words when speaking with certain people because they would never get it. I'm like, “Chile, it doesn't mean you are moving mad.” Hehe.
I'm all about the truth too. Especially when I feel like I'm being put down. My mouth just starts to pour. Hehe!
Thank you so much for this comment.
I just Dey smile.
I have not endured. Rather, I like it so well. It is true that we will offend people. It can't be helped. However, when we apologise truly for what's been done and don't repeat it again, it gets better to move on.
Speaking up is necessary. We shouldn't let our voice drown. As a writer, our quill shouldn't just do the job towards justice... we should put our all, and like you've said, we should be unapologetical for speaking the truth or standing for ourselves when we are wronged.
Oh, how sweet. I'm so glad you look like it.
No matter what we do, someone somewhere may find it offensive because we are all different. That must not stop us from speaking our truth. As you said, as writers, we must do the work diligently.
You have spoken intelligently.
Thank you.
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Thank you 😊.
Yes, there's no way people won't be hurt, but that shouldn't stop us from speaking the truth.
Have a good day.
Standing up for oneself is the best thing one can do for him/herself.
I love how you first apologized to him and then explained to him.
100%. When we stand up for ourselves, it boosts confidence.
That's true.
The word mean isn’t used for someone who is forgetful. That’s not the right word for it. It actually mean that the person is “rude” which i know you don’t mean it that way but it could cause a misunderstanding.
Of course it’s always right to stand up for yourself and not let anyone ridicule you, I strongly agree with you on it. People tend to take you for a fool if you’re been apologetic every now and then.
And also we should always learn to be cool when handling situations, we are all humans and we might be wrong and not know.
Of course, mean doesn't mean forgetful. I meant that the act of not getting the item was mean because I felt he did it on purpose. I've also read up on the meaning and it doesn't say “rude.” It means to be unkind, hurtful, or even stingy. That fits in the context I used it.
Oh yes. I can never be that person. I would always stand up for myself and others too.
In the end, how we comport ourselves with people is what matters.
Oh I did enjoy reading this that I wished it didn't have to end.
I totally agree with you on not apologizing for saying the truth and standing up for yourself. We live in a world where some just wants to bully you into silence. So we need to stand up for ourselves always.
Thank you so much for sharing.
#dreemerforlife
Thank you so much for reading.
Aren't you just right about that?
I choose to continue speaking the truth and standing up to bullies.
Dealing with people is very complex. Sometimes you just have to hurt some of them. Apologizing for saying the truth is like encouraging evil to continue. That's something I'll never do, if like die, as far as it's the truth, I'll never go back on my words
#dreemport
Hehe. They should hug transformer oo. But I'll live and speak my truth.
Thank you so much.
This is the fact. I also will not apologise for being myself or doing the right thing. We can't walk on ehh shells all our lives, I concur.
Fabulous #dreemerforlife
Definitely. We can be ourselves respecting others in the process.
Thank you so much.
You are welcome