I am an Executor; LADIES of HIVE #223

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An Executor of an Estate is an individual charged with the responsibility of executing the wishes of the Testator (Deceased) as outlined in the Testator’s Will.

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“Black birds tend to like shiny things.” ~ The Bloody Raven

The role includes paying the debts of the estate, alerting creditors, arranging and organization of funeral wishes, communicating to beneficiaries, distributing remaining asset to the heirs and beneficiaries, and final Tax filing on behalf of the estate.

I’ve been named as an Executor for five late family members over the years. Quite a few of my relatives and friends thinks I’m some sort of Estate planning guru and come to me for advice.

I’m just pretty good at budgeting and Canadian Tax laws. I didn’t want the Executor job but one case led to another and another until voila, it’s hard to shake the reputation and I though perhaps I should charge a stipend but I felt it is in bad taste even if is legal under Canadian Executor and Probate rules to charge up to 5% of the estate’s asset value. At least I have the experience.

Other than my Mom's estate I’m currently helping a single Mom manage her late friend’s estate without the aid of a written Will. It’s a bit of a mess I can say dealing with an uncooperative relatives that felt entitled to the deceased’s personal effects. Under certain property laws, that person has made a serious incorrect assumption and will face consequences. Not from just the actual owner but earning the disdain from his family too.

I have my own written and notarized Will in place. It was done with the assistance of a bookkeeper friend who has done more than his fair share of Estate cases for free. Typical uncomplicated Wills done by a Notary Public are not expensive, anywhere between $150 to $250 CAD. Well worth the peace of mind even if I’d be few assets, that is totaling less than the legal $25,000 CAD threshold. It’s not worth our families becoming divided over by.

In my case, my net worth has become quite substantive from about 25 years of employment in the Healthcare field. A mortgage free home, a Rental property, a self-directed retirement fund, a tax free Investment fund, Emergency reserve Cash fund, and the physical assets of the Bloody Raven’s personal Central Bank. An important note is that here in Canada conveying a real property title is easiest done with a clearly written Will. Without a Will it could take several months through the supervision of the public Trustee of my Province and the expensive fees they charge the estate. It could even take years if a substantial portion is promised to an outside third party without a will. Meanwhile the property may be in legal limbo with the bills racking up.

My assets are basically divided evenly between my two sons with a few minor exceptions such as nieces and nephews with something to remember.
As friends, he didn’t want any payment for both my late Roommate’s, and for my own Will. I gave him a gift, two silver Maple Leafs for his service. And interestingly enough we discovered each other as precious metals Stackers. He said, “You’re doing the right thing, thank you for this totally unexpected gift.”

My next important document to finish is an enduring Power of Attorney. In the event I go stark raving mad or incapacitated in a manner that I cannot competently direct my own medical choices, my designated next of kin(s) can decide on my medical care.

Next is a pre-need and pre-paid funeral contract and thus take the decisions and expenses off the hands of my children and siblings. It’s hard enough to make such choices while grieving. My Mom purchased a funeral package and put to rest our varying choices for interring her remains as her contract was her final say.

And finally my last contract of the heart for my best friend and roommate, I safeguard her remains until the day I we both share a mausoleum space together as roommates again.

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"There’s no telling when we will meet again my dear Deb, I hope you are patient as I continue to stumble through life, yet God isn’t done with me."
Without you I wouldn't have made it this far my sister ...until the day of his return, come Lord Jesus.

This post are my thoughts and response to this week's Ladies of Hive writing imitative judged by @joanstewart posted here.

"To the Question; Have you written up a Will and filed it, protecting your spouse and children? Take control of your estate, assets, or worldly possessions — make sure you leave behind to those you wish it to go to!"

References & Sources

Photos are my own shot with an ancient 2018 Samsung SM-A530W or otherwise indicated.
P. Image under Pixabay
W. Wiki Commons
☠️🎃 Page Dividers by thekittygirl. ❄️🌞
Cameo Raven Brooch from The Black Wardrobe.
The 2024 Hive 0.999 Silver Round.



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"I’m just a gal in black, not a bloody Financial Advisor!"

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72 comments
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It is good that you are thinking ahead and of others for after you are gone. I have been putting this off for some time. I need to get an attorney and start putting this together.

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I didn't expect anything less from you but having this all in order. I admire your strength to get all this stuff done while being a single mother and have your own health issues to deal with.

These things have been on our list for a few years but slowly we're checking things of the list that take much longer than expected/wanted, such as lowering our taxes a lot since a few months, and I'm sure somewhere this year, we will make time to discuss what we want and ask advice on how to set up all these documents for our family.

I'm not looking forward to it because it also comes with some difficult things to take into account which will make it more painful to work through.

Anyway, you can have peace of mind in your situation in terms of leaving things behind, good job sis! !LUV !LADY !PIMP

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This is a case when no one wants to see in their future. it is something we need to prepare for that eventuality, if it is difficult for you now then the choices would more difficult to your family. I find this as a way of caring for our loved ones that we leave behind. While my Mom and I don't always agree on things, I knew by the end of the day she still cared for my well being.

I'm fortunate to have knowledgeable friends to rely on for resources. And with a basic plan reasonably in place I often teach and advise my sons on what to do with my assets when I pass them on. For example my eldest son may need equity for a business loan, say $100K, he can put the family gold up as collateral to buy into that business without losing control of owning the gold. No capital gains tax is triggered in the sale of the gold. The cash borrowed interest is tax deductible as long as there is a decent cash flow. Sweet!

There is so much ground I can cover.
It can get overwhelming and emotional.
Keep it simple.
One step at a time.
!LADY

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Your work sounds hard, complicated that you have to be familiar with laws. Just dealing along with the entitled was draining!

Speaking of Canada, how the economy now? Was it good?
My sister in-law went home 2yrs ago and haven't successfully go back. (Still applying I think).

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Sometimes I may have to be a referee than an Executor.
I had the pleasure to meet a fine family of in-laws, they were outgoing and friendly. When the matriarch passed away that family changed and fought over her estate with loud foul language and threats. I couldn't believe it, it was like night and day difference and since then remain divided. You can't please everyone. There was no will either.

The Economy has been in a recession for a while even though most touted economists technically claim it is not (That is not for the rich). Housing availability is very low and expensive. Employment is officially over 6% and there is very little hiring even in entry level jobs. The cost of living is very high.
I think the best way is living in with any relatives or family already established here in Canada.

!LADY

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I was asked to be the Executor for my parents, but then as I was about to accept, I was told by their lawyer that accepting would require me to move back to the states and never leave. So... that didn't happen.

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Wait what? Why is that? Being an only child with no kids and having a husband whose whole family lives in Australia… I could see being in a position where I would want an executor not on US soil. It would for sure be hard to manage an estate from a different country, but they said you were not allowed?!!!

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I don't have an answer for that. All I know is I was told I wouldn't be allowed to continue living in Japan if I wanted to do it. So I reluctantly passed, despite being the oldest which makes me feel like it should be my responsibility. Part of me thinks it was a final attempt by my parents to force me to move "home", but I'd like to not be so cynical. At any rate, I only know what I was told.

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That is so weird. I could understand if you had to be in the country whilst you were carrying out the Executor role, I can see the practical justification for that, but before?

Maybe your parents really miss you a lot...

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Yeah, I don't know. It could be an availability thing. If they worry the end could come instantly, and that I wouldn't be able to come for at least a few days or more. They ended up going with the youngest in the family, maybe because he lives in the same city as them.

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I could wildly guess that there is a law to prevent capital from leaving the US. I'm curious to learn the reasons for this rule. I hope your parents had a alternate found.

Meanwhile, my Liberal government has increased the capital gains rate in Canada and as a result Investment capital is fleeing over the border. Now the government is considering a departure tax on individuals and businesses leaving Canada. ☹️ Facepalm!

"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." ~ Princess Leia

!BBH

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I could wildly guess that there is a law to prevent capital from leaving the US. I'm curious to learn the reasons for this rule. I hope your parents had a alternate found.

It could be, or it could be an availability thing. I don't know. They passed over my other brother, the next in line after me, too, and went with my youngest brother, I'm assuming because he lives in the same city.

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You received an upvote of 100% from Precious the Silver Mermaid!

Thank you for contributing more great content to the #SilverGoldStackers tag.
You have created a Precious Gem!

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As an immortal mermaid and thirteenth daughter of Neptune I figure these human matters don't really interest you but a mere curiosity right? 😉

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I may not age, but I am certainly mortal. When I die I hope that my remaining treasures are spread amongst those I love. Perhaps you can become my executor too?

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Excellent advice for Canadians to follow, great ideas to everyone else. Not one of us will know when the last bell rings.

Having a niece who is in a similar situation to yourself, director at an Independent Financial Advisors company, much studying to further her knowledge!

Early 2018 advised we 'oldies' should update our Wills, along with Living Will, suggested company. Seven months later her sister and father passed away, thank goodness both had heeded her advice as did most of the family.

What transpired over personal last quarter I'm extremely grateful a Will is in place. Raised a Power of Attorney quickly before end of year for my husband, after snake bite realized Alzheimer and Dementia to be a major problem as well.

Take care and thanks for great advice given!

!LUV
!LADY

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My experiences and knowledge are based on the Laws establish by the Province of British Columbia Public Trustee so guidelines around written Wills will vary from country, state and province.

I am so grateful to have talked my Mom into making a power of Attorney when she was showing signs of dementia. The long process would have cost another ten months of legal paperwork, medical assessments and approx $12,000 CAD in legal fees to get that status.

Thanks @joanstewart
!LADY
!LUV

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Legal process in most countries is extremely expensive, also time consuming!

!PIZZA
!WINEX

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You can say that again.
The system feels more like a racket where the Government and the legal system ends up getting the biggest piece of the estate.
And that is what motivates me to minimize that for the clients.
Everyone alive and dead is tired of being taxed, feed, levied, and surcharged to death.
!BBH

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Our government/lawyers/executors much the same, expensive, very slow... African Time!

When my brother died with recently written up Will, all documents attached, still had to wait on the death certificate from hospital.

Fortunately being an efficient company, everything transferred to his wife within two months which is the best I have seen in a long time.

!WINEX

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We just did our will, medical power of attorney and financial power of attorney a few months ago. It was a STRUGGLE. Since we don’t have kiddos, other than looking out for one another should one or the other of us get sick/die my hubs and I were/are having issues agreeing on where everything will go. And picking an executor! Right now it is one of my friends. But being the same age… she might not be spry enough to deal when our time comes.

My dad has set me up to be his executor when his time comes. Having watched the work that went into Grandma’s estate and even closing things out for mom… I am kind of dreading it.

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At least you learned from observing your Dad, then you will be familiar with most of the nuances and objectives to navigate administering the estate. Add that your loss and grief that is still fresh in your heart and soul, it is a struggle!

I didn't have anyone to walk me through this the first time around. Instead of grief crippling me I used anger to motivate me to tackle the job of an Executor. The truth is that I always dread taking these things on but the empathetic side of me cant say no.

Much hugs and !LUV
!LADY

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fatsooooo you want to take garndpas moneyyy eee pig oink oink

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Not an easy job, but an important one as executor. But it's a very smart move to get your affairs in order, sadly, we aren't immortals. Getting everything in place will make it so much easier on your kids. I finalized my this past year too!
!BBH
!LUV

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I find it kinda depressing when you have to start thinking of wills, funerals, power of attorney etc. You're much nearer to the one end than the other, but sadly it not something we can avoid.

It's been a long time since I've seen one of those jade pendants!

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Maybe I can look in how those southern Baptist churches like the ones in New Orleans do it. They often have those happy funeral parades with a jazz band playing happy jazz, dancing down the street to the cemetery.

The Chinese jade pendant belong to my Chinese Grandparent, she gave it to my Mom, and my Mom told me to hold it for her for safe keeping.

Thanks for dropping in @livinguktaiwan
!LADY

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If you've had a good life, you might as well leave in a high and throw a good party. But I guess nothing beats some villages in Taiwan, I heard some have strippers performing at the funeral because the deceased likes it 😄

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It's a lot of responsibility being executor of an estate ........
I can see why you have been chosen over the years, and apparently others can see you are a wise choice as well!😀
Not having a will can be quite a problem, hope things get sorted out!😇👍

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It’s funny that you bring this up. I have just drafted one with the perimeters that my lawyer sent me. Here you need a lawyer in order to stop everyone from trying to get in on it.

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I have seen a fine family turn into a feeding frenzy after the matriarch passed away without a will. Most of her kids barely tolerate each other last Christmas and there wasn't a very big estate either, sad.
Thanks for coming aboard D.
!PIMP

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Wow, that's quite a responsibility you've taken on sis! It’s no small feat to be entrusted with managing someone's estate, and it's understandable that others see you as a go-to expert. Your knowledge of budgeting and Canadian Tax laws certainly puts you in a great position to offer valuable advice.

Charging a stipend for your services isn’t necessarily in bad taste. Executors often receive compensation for their time and effort, as the role can be quite demanding. In Canada, executors are legally entitled to a reasonable fee, usually set as a percentage of the estate’s value.

If you feel comfortable discussing it with your relatives and friends, you might explain that while you're happy to help, the role is time-consuming and complex, and a small fee could help cover the costs of your time and effort.

In the meantime, you could also consider formalizing your knowledge. There are courses and certifications in estate planning that might bolster your reputation even further, and help you manage these responsibilities more smoothly.

Much !LUV always, sis!
!LADY

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Thanks for you words support Sis.
It is a nice option to pursue going into my post working days on a case by case basis and supplement an early retirement. Until then I still have some trade training on my Bank's Trading platform and reconfigure my portfolios into where I will want it to be.
I still have some finishing touches to Deb's estate, My Mom's estate still has some issues to deal with.

Always, with !LUV 🤗🌺❤️
!LADY

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You have a lot going on, but you're handling it like a champ. Preparing for early retirement while wrapping up estate matters and training on your bank’s trading platform is a lot to juggle, but you've got this.

If you need any tips, ideas, or just a bit of motivation, I'm here for you. Keep pushing forward—you're doing great, sis!

!LADY
!LUV

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It is sad that settling estates lead to such issues amongst relatives at times. A will is the best way to stop that kind of thing in it's tracks.

It is good of you to help others who need help with their estates. Thank you for doing that.

Thanks for sharing and take care sis and enjoy the weekend.🤗❤️🌹 !LADY !LUV

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When you're young, you don't think much about these things. I'm 58 years old now and the oldest of my extended family. My uncle died last August. He died without a will. His estate is still pending. I understand what you're writing about.
!HUG

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