MAKING FRIENDS

I remember some years back when I was still in Warri Delta state of Nigeria, there was this girl I noticed was always isolated in Church. I was about 20, 21 years old then, and was serving as the teen president. My position in the church required that I socialize with the majority of the teenagers, make friends with them, and try to draw them closer to the teen's activities in church which were quite fun. Among all the teenagers was a girl who usually isolated herself from everyone. When I noticed her, I decided I would look for an opportunity to talk to her and if possible become friends with her, but on another note, talking has never been my strong suit, especially a one-on-one conversation.

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On a very good day which happened to be a weekly service, I stepped out of the church to get something outside and I saw this girl singing… Her voice was so beautiful that I began to wonder why on earth she would decide to isolate herself from others. I also saw an opportunity to talk to her which I didn't think twice before doing. I observed that she was very shy, too shy to even look at me in the face but being calm I was able to start up a very short conversation by complimenting her voice which made her feel shy and happy. The following Sunday I decided to sit with her, found things around her to talk about and little by little she began to be free around me.

One day she looked at me and said ”I never imagined myself being friends with someone like you” I was intrigued by that statement, and when I pressed to know what she meant I discovered how low she regarded herself, and saw me as too high for her standards. I soon discovered that she had been molested and maltreated all her life, and even at that period, she was living with a family who treated her as a maid. We became good friends and soon after she became friends with my friends and began to build her confidence. Today she's a successful chef and entrepreneur, someone I am proud of knowing we've come a long way.

I also have experience with a friend who I got to discover saw me lower than her standards. Not because she's rich, but because of the caliber of guys coming for her. To be honest, the heartbreak was little compared to how I felt when I discovered how she saw me. And if I'm, to be honest, I've begun to see myself in that light when I look in the mirror. I'm still working on moving on from that, but I'm mostly working on becoming as friendly as I used to be. It's just sad that when you become too friendly some people tend to take it for granted.

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I love having friends around, this is not because I want anything from them per se, but because I understand the importance of relationships. I have gotten a lot of things because of relationships and people have benefited from me too because of relationships. I have come to understand that life is like a wind, it can blow in any direction, and if you have formed a good relationship with a good person who can make life better for you, you stand a better chance of rising in life. Note I do not form relationships for this reason, but I understand life can be unpredictable, and sometimes you don't know when you might need a friend, most of all, you do not know when you will be needed by a friend.

Although I would admit I'm quite shy, and like I said, physical one-on-one conversations aren't my strong suit especially when the person I'm trying to be friends with isn't reciprocating the energy, I would just get fed up and leave. Ladies often tend to act uninterested, making you feel like you should stay away when you offer hands of friendship, I just get fed up and walk away.

THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S PROMPT FOR WEEK 101 EPISODE 1