MAKING IT COUNT

I try to use every opportunity I get with people to create memories. I try to make it count knowing that life is too short to let things linger. Life is too short to hide those feelings, life is too short not to make it count. I've been blessed with the right set of friends at every point in life, some of whom we have not seen physically for a while and others I haven't even talked to in a while. But then I chose a long time ago to always make my relationship with people worth it. It's easy to say I do too much, or I give people room to hurt me hoping they wouldn't, but the thing is I looked within myself today and discovered that for everything I've done, all the friends and relationships I've made was because I was searching for something, or should I say, someone. And I think the gates of my heart will remain open until I find what I'm searching for.

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If there's a word to describe what I'm looking for, it is PEACE. Not peace away from troubles, or even inner peace in itself. It is the peace you get in someone else, something you can never give yourself. It's okay to ask why I want this peace, because mind you, I do not play with words, even when I'm joking I'm serious. I'm looking for this peace because I've seen a lot of relationships go sour for a whole lot of different reasons which boil down to the fact that both parties can no longer live in peace with each other for whatever reasons they claim. You can never force such peace on a person, and it can only be gifted to you from someone who has chosen to also find peace in you.

I told myself a long time ago, that anyone I'm with would find peace and security with me, so I think subconsciously, I've been looking for whom I would find such peace with. I do not get gifts often, probably because I'm not a lady lol, but I think I've given a good number of gifts to a good number of people in my lifetime. One remarkable gift I can remember was when a friend of mine gifted me her old PC back in 2020 because she saw I really needed one to work with. The only gift I got again was a small perfume from a friend which only came because I told her I was offended by her actions. I don't think that gift was from her heart at the end of the day, but either way, those are the only gifts I can remember receiving in my lifetime.

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There are times I become so angry with myself for giving and giving without getting anything back in turn. But then each time I get angry, I realize that life is too short not to give. I do not give beyond my capacity though, and I do not give to impress, but I give either way not expecting anything, but with a hope that one day I will be given to as I have given. Life is too short to hold me back because of the wickedness of people, so I would not let their actions affect my decisions. And if there's any gift I want more than anything in this world, it is the gift of trust. I know I'm weird with the things I do and say, but I know myself, I know I can be trusted, but what I want most is for someone to say YOU CAN TRUST ME, and they will never go back.

Too bad that the world system is so broken that trusting people is almost impossible as everyone has a hidden agenda. This is why relationships break, one party or both start having hidden agendas and then become a reason for break up. This unpopular gift of mine is rare, but if I can find it, I don't think I would need anything after that as it has always been my earnest desire.

THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE GHANA PROMPT FOR THE WEEK.