SELF DENIAL: HOW I SAW MYSELF

If there's one thing my mum complained about in the past, it's how I have denied myself a lot of times especially when it pertains to my rights in Jobs I have taken and is almost all occasions, my employers tend to take advantage of the opportunity to exploit me knowing I gave them the access.

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My self-denial story is in response to the hive learners contest prompt for week 70 episode 3, you can check @kronias post to get more information about it here

Now back to the discussion, I've always emphasized how introverted I am, which many still find hard to believe, knowing me personally. However, I have faced some really bad experiences as an introvert, especially not speaking out for myself, allowing others to use/abuse me as they want, and making up excuses in a bid to convince myself that they are right and I don't deserve as much as I should.

When I got my first Job, the managing director employed me, after seeing my performance in the interview coupled with the fact that I'm young with a good amount of experience many graduates do not possess. He offered to pay me 20,000 naira probational salary which was supposed to be for the first three months. Seeing my performance in the first month alone handed over all his companies' social media to my care (I worked as the social media manager, and he had three different companies).

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The first month he paid me 25,000 naira stating I exceeded his expectations seeing the results my social media management skills brought to the company. By the next month, I was managing the other two, with no discussion about a salary increment. I was also paid 25,000 for that month, which went on for the next two months, even after my probation period. When my mum complained about it, I will come up with the excuse of the probation, and when my probational period was over, I came up with the excuse of not being professionally qualified for a pay raise.

After a lot of pressure from my mum, I summon up the courage to ask for a pay raise, only to be emotionally blackmailed with the excuse that I wasn't the one who asked him to increase my salary from the initial 20,000 and my educational qualification doesn't warrant the level of pay I was asking for (50,000). Even though deep down I knew I had been rubbed, I apologized and went back to work and that month he decided to pay me 30,000 naira, which to him was fair for my qualification. (I had dropped out of school to help support my family with two jobs.) In the middle of the next month, I saw a lady working with my qualification in another company, who was even learning from me being paid 100,000 naira with 50,000 monthly bonuses, while I managed three companies for someone, giving myself reasons to be paid 30,000 naira.

Knowing my mum warned me, with consistent pressure to get another job, I finally summon the courage to tender my resignation and went in search of a better-paying job with less stress and more value. My boss was shocked to see that I was resigning, and he offered to pay me 35,000 naira to stay, but then, I understood that he was only exploiting the opportunity I gave him denying myself what I truly deserved. Although it wasn't the last time I had to deny myself my rights in Jobs 😂 about two years ago I did a Job for a client without securing my pay. Even to the point where some of my bosses and client have talked down on my work, in a bid to lower the pay or not pay at all. I tell myself I'm bigger than that😂 and let it slide knowing deep down I should get what I deserve for my work.

Thanks for stopping by my blog today, until next time.