THE BEGINNING OF VIOLENCE

I grew up not liking my dad, and it was the same reason I hated him at one point. It's fine between us right now, but when I remember those days, I wished I never got to grow through them. My fear for my dad started when I knew his violent side. One time we went to church, and he was looking for me for like two minutes because I went to get something he asked me to, and just stood to exchange pleasantries with my friend. Seeing me, he assumed I was playing even though he knew I wasn't a child to play when sent on an errand, but his anger got the best of him and he started shouting my name from afar. Just when I was about to explain that my friend’s dad was looking for him and that was what he was asking me, I received a dirty slap that took me off my feet followed by a kick that sent me flying in the air. And I'm not exaggerating when I say these things happened because I didn't just end up with a black eye, I ended up with blood particles in my left eye.

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I was 11 when that incident happened, and I can still remember it like it was yesterday because I could remember the horror that filled me when I saw my dad like that. That was when I slowly started seeing him as a villain instead of a role model. That action made me live in constant fear, and also made me fish out bad friends whom I could carry out mischievous deeds with. I slowly began to love the violence, I slowly began to enjoy the fear and horror kids faced each time I did something to scare them. They never knew it was me which made it even more fun. Thankfully I found a new part of life, and gradually started putting myself in people's shoes to help me relate with how they will feel if I continue in that path. One reason I changed then was because I didn't want my sister to face whatever I was doing to others in the name of karma. Karma is a funny thing because there were those who tried inflicting such pain on my sister but were unable to because there were people on her side, people that I had done good to after I repented.

This brings me to a reason I think people are violent which is because of FEAR. As funny as it sounds, the majority of violent people had to become so because they were afraid at some point in their lives. Nobody was born violent, but circumstances tend to bring out the worst in people. Usually when people get violent it's either because they are afraid of looking weak, or because they feel the need to prove they are not weak. I know this because I have lived the life of trying to be strong and showing that you can be without the help of anyone. I was so afraid of my dad one time that I needed to see people frightened of me to make me feel I wasn't afraid and it was working. The idea that I was strong made me justify the feeling of hurting others just so I could prove that I wasn't weak. Maybe I proved it, and everyone called me a viper at the end of the day, but then that was all because the truth was I was drowning in fear every single day.

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A lot of violent men are afraid of looking weak, some have proven their strength through violence so much that when they feel any sign of a threat, their default setting is to reply in violence with the aim of making the person look weak and fear them. This is why a man would hit his wife before remembering that she's a woman. His past has mostly conditioned him to solve issues with his fists and thus he does so without thinking. I had to start training my younger brother when I realized that he was always angry. I knew he wasn't angry because he wanted to, but because he was afraid of not being heard when he wanted to be heard. I saw a man pouch a woman on the roadside over a small touch inside a bus. It was clear she wasn't the one he was angry with but was only letting out his frustration and the way his mind has been programmed, it was to reply with violence. If we must stop violence, then we must take away the things that make people afraid.

THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S PROMPT FOR WEEK 158 EPISODE 3