THE SUMMONER'S LETTER
Out of the ashes rose a great knight, Masculine in his dark skin and white long dreads. He looked like a black angel covered in ash and dust. As he managed to open his eyes while dusting what he could from his face, arms and armor. His sea blue eyes made his beauty radiate like the sun as he stood in a perpendicular position to the sun rise. It was also evident that he wasn't from around here which raised the big question in my heart where did he come from.
Out of curiosity I opted to meet him with intentions to ask who he was or where he came from but Julius and Muna thought otherwise. It was appropriate that we took precautions, they said. But my curiosity would not let me do that, instead I threw a stone towards him not aiming to hit him, but with an intention to draw his attention from afar. He caught the stone before it would pass him as one who is well grounded in martial arts.
His action proved that he was a knight as we thought indeed. It seemed he could hear us argue about going to meet him or not, but he chose to stay put, probably waiting for us to make a decision. Something in me felt like I knew him already, it was as though he would know me if I decided to come close, so I opted to go even though Julius and Muna tried pulling me back. The moment I said hello to him, he looked at me with those beautiful eyes that took my breath away for a moment. His long look gave me all kinds of shivers and goosebumps, my legs
could barely carry me and I was beginning to regret not listening to my friends.
I got a form of relief when he started with there was no reason to be scared, it wasn't just because he said it, it was how he said it. He continued by apologizing for the blast. According to him, I pulled him out of a war in his realm saying my call for help brought him to me. He said his name Rigar, and he's the commander of the Unsullied Army. I used to think those stories you told me about the Battle of 12 kingdoms as a child were fairy tales, but meeting Rigar was proof that summoners exist, and I am a summoner.
Before now the only thing I believed in was myself and I decided I would find help for our people even though I didn't know how, but after meeting Rigar, I have come to understand your teachings on the wheel of faith, and how it takes us on a journey to discover purpose. For the past 6 months Rigar has been teaching me how to fight, and also summon more soldiers from his Army. It has not been easy, but I'm pulling through by the day. I remember promising you that I would return with a permanent solution that will free our people from the captivity of the Iron Army. So I'm writing you this letter to tell you to prepare yourself, the chiefs and our people, because this time I am coming back with an Army of my own.
The iron Army has oppressed our people for the past 1000 years after the death of the last summoner, even though I never believed in all this magic stuff, you, mother always said the magic was in my blood, now I understand and I know better. I have accepted who I am now, but if you must know this comes at a price. I have been bonded to these soldiers and so I must find a place to settle with them. I do not know what happens after this or how many wars we would have to fight, but now I believe the wheel of faith has set this part for us for a reason. First we will win this war, and afterwards we will go wherever the wheel takes us.
To Queen Ariel Elmando
From Your Daughter, Princess Cersie Elmando.
Oh wow. First of all I can see the focus on the beginning and suddenly 6 months later. It would be amazing to read what is happening in that 6 month period more detailed. 🤯
I guess i just love vivid images because Rigar looks amazing. And the feeling he gave to the writer is absolutely understandable, first times always matter 😄
Yes you are very correct... first time always matters
A well-constructed story, in the form of a letter, in which we can glimpse the preparation for an early war. It grabbed me from the beginning. Regards
I'm glad you liked it. It's a pleasure having you read
An interesting and creative approach to the prompt. It feels like the opening to a longer form narrative/fiction and if it was, it would form part of a great introductory chapter. On it's own though, it is more of a reflective piece, a recounting and summation of events - pure narrative without the balancing elements of dialogue and action to take it forward. After the letter is written, we would be expecting something to happen. We know the MC is a summoner but the story has just begun and we cry out for more. How does this impact her life? How does her relationship with Rigar develop? Who are Julius and Muna? How is the Princess seemingly the only hope of the Kingdom or Queendom? To elevate your writing and make this into a complete fiction, you need to look at developing your characters and creating relationships between them. There needs to be both story and character arcs and more show than tell. You write well, klvnrex. Take a look at some of The Ink Well resources in this article for ideas on how you could turn a piece like this into a complete story.
Thank you for writing in The Ink Well.
https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/catalog-of-fiction-writing-tips-from-the-ink-well
Thank you for your feedback. Can I continue the story... I didn't want to form a series of events but I still got some ideas in the bag
The Ink Well does not accept serial fiction but you could develop the story further and publish it directly to your own blog :-)
A very interesting story. I love the theme and want to know more about your characters and what will happen.
Very good @kilvnrex.
Greetings