Living in my own world - LOH Contest #157

I need to interact with several people today. People I don’t usually interact with. To be honest, it’s not several people. Just two. And one of them involves only a phone call. Still too much for me. And don’t let me start about things I need to do tomorrow. Going out on an administrative errand on behalf of a relative. Something I should have dealt with months ago, but I couldn’t find the energy to do. The simple thought of having to talk to clerks and fill out forms fills me with subtle dread. All this because I’m an introvert and I find it hard to interact with people I don’t know well enough.

Source

This week’s prompt for Ladies of Hive is What's the one thing people always misunderstand about you?

For me, this is it - my reluctance to do things that involve dealing with other people is probably seen as sheer incompetence, unwillingness, rudeness, not caring enough and God knows what else. I know how some of my actions or lack of look to the casual observer and they don’t look good. How hard can it be to call someone or go to some office to submit a request?

As I was thinking about this post I was trying to find the right word to explain my feelings about such otherwise normal activities. I had to look it up in a book dealing with introverts and the word is overwhelmed. I find these interactions overwhelming so I try to avoid them as much as possible.

It’s something you’re born with, but I guess quitting a real-world job many years ago and moving to online work has only accentuated my natural tendency to avoid dealing with other people. I was never the Miss Popularity type but could function normally, albeit with a limited number of people. I had a decent amount of people I could call friends and there are a few I’m still in contact with to this day.

Source

Just to give you an example of what it feels like to be an introvert I’ll tell you a story from decades ago when I was a young journalist. One day my boss decided I should be accredited with the Foreign Affairs Ministry which could have been my big break. Such a job meant meeting all sorts of important people, attending high-level meetings etc. The next day I went to a press conference at the Ministry and it was hell. That’s how my life should look from now on - greeting people I don’t know, plaster a fake smile on my face and say nice things to guys who could give me good information? I went back to the office and told my boss I’m not doing this, no way, no how. After that, I spent many more years as a journalist, doing a desk job - writing and editing. Tasks that didn’t put me in harm’s way.

Being an introvert is not something you can change. Introverts are attuned to their inner world and have a hard time dealing with the outer world. The outside world is foreign to me, hard to understand at times and somehow less important. Not real enough. Paperwork in particular is a foreign concept to me. Why bother with it unless absolutely necessary? And I do mean absolutely necessary.

My father was just like me. For instance, when he died the formalities were a nightmare as the address in his ID was that of the house he’d left more than a decade before. I guess that’s why he never got a divorce - too much of a bother.

I wish I could say I’m trying to change, but I know that’s not gonna happen. However, I’d love to hear your opinions. Perhaps tell me I’m not the only one who is dysfunctional. If not you, maybe there’s someone in your life who’s hopeless when it comes to dealing with mundane things that require going out and talking to people.

Thanks for reading!