FINDING MY PLACE •//• The New Kid During The Pandemic. —LOH Contest #188

Being the new kid is always tough, especially for someone who is not very social or who is reserved. I have always hated the feeling that comes with being the new kid, or going to a social gathering where don’t know a single soul.

That feeling of mini-loneliness overshadows you, when you hear groups of girls giggling over something, the atmosphere filled with laughter and small talks, and you just don’t fit in. You see everyone has found comfort in themselves while you struggle to figure out how things work.

Although I am someone who one can considered ‘fun to be with’, I am never the type to start a conversation unless the other person is willing to or if it is very necessary. I am always careful just to avoid feeling like ‘the new kid’, I always make sure I know one or two people in a place.

Yet, I have found myself being a new kid.

In 2020, during my last year in secondary school / high school, the Covid-19 pandemic disrupted the school system. Everything was not as it used to be, and transportation was expensive due to restrictions on passengers numbers.

Although schools were shut down for a while, they eventually reopened, but the operations weren’t effective. My school was quite far from home, and with the high transportation costs and reduced school activities, I decided to transfer to a closer school within walking distance.

It was just few months before my final exam, WAEC (West African Examinations Council), which would grant my secondary school certificate. So, I took the courage to attend the new school.

On my first day, I felt as though I was invisible. No one said a word to me, and didn’t say anything to anyone. I felt like teleporting home, just disappearing from there, but I obviously couldn’t. I sat down watching everyone smile, talk and jest.

The second day wasn’t any better, I still remained invisible. The third day was quite different—the English teacher asked me a question, which at least proved that I wasn’t invincible. I thought things had changed, but they hadn’t.

I tried talking to some people, but it only felt awkward. I am not the type to force my way into people’s lives. Although, I enjoy my personal space, but I would definitely appreciate a friend or two in a school or gathering.

People I tried to make conversation with would see me the next day and not talk to me. Some would even walk pass me. At some point, I thought I didn’t fix in—maybe I didn’t look good or something like that.

I know myself; I can’t be desperate for things like this. I gave up on them. I just wanted to finish those few months and be out of there. I wasn’t being bullied or speaking ill to (actually, I can’t be—haha. It would take a lot to bully me). I was learning, I had just few months to go, and I thought it wasn’t worth the stress.

But as fate would have it, about a week or two, new student joined, and we automatically became friends. A few other students joined too, and most of us became friends as time went on. I naturally became friends with some old students as well.

Altogether, it was a nice experience, and I made quite a handful of friends. I know I didn’t handle being the new kid as some people would, but I guess I just had to let fate play its role.