TO LET GO AND TO LET IN
I very, wholly, appreciate the place of reflection and retrospection as happens with the end of a year and the start of a new one.
I know a few people who say they don't like the 'new year, new me' and all the resolution thing. I understand their viewpoint. I understand that they mean all the anxiety and beating themselves up for not getting all they want. I also understand that they question why reflection and adjustments should not be made occasionally rather than left for the traditional once a year.
Personally, I appreciate how it is. I may be someone who doesn't wait for year end to re-evaluate himself, but I enjoy the total reflection I get to do this time. I appreciate the anxiety that comes with me hitting some and not hitting some goals. The feeling may be terrifying, but it leaves me with the effect 'to not want to' or 'to want to' feel the same way next time. It's like a rude awakening.
I am a hard worker. I do many jobs at once. And then more jobs in between those jobs. I could hold two to three different hone lessons in a day, handle making and delivering finger foods, handle my remote jobs, and still work in a site, all in the same day. My friends think I have it very well. A lot of people say I'm doing well and I agree that I try.
I'm not the person who sits idle. I can not sit for a day straight without itching to work or be busy. It's almost like a default right now. The only problem is that i don't find spending the money very easily. It's not difficult to spend on family or offer help and assistance to others. No, it's not. The problem is with spending on me. And I admit that it's not a good habit ar all.
I try to spend, but I sometimes catch myself thinking about one other beneficial cause that the money could be used for. This doesn't mean that I'm tight fisted to myself. No. I get myself nice stuff every once a while. The only thing is, I want to stop thinking about it in my head like it's something that should be deliberated. Cause I work so hard, and I deserve to ball hard too. It's my responsibility to myself to give me the best that I can I afford. It also doesn't equate to reckless spending, and I hope that somebody at least gets what I mean.
There are experiences i have always meant to live but have talked and dismissed myself from even though i can afford them, and i plan to live them going forward. I plan to take care of myself as best as i can.
So that's it. While i plan to do away with putting myself through too much thought about doing something nice for myself, i, on the other hand, plan to give myself the baby-boy treatment that i work for and desrve in return. Not to forget, I plan to start making the time for quality rest, as I deserve that, too.
I hope that this was interesting to read. Thank you for coming around.
