A Malice In Mallaig

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(Edited)

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Isn't this just perfect?

For once the Good Lady wasn't folding clothes or threatening me with a rolling pin but instead was looking out at the coastline before us sipping a coffee happily.

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Yeah, it's pretty damn good.

I was leaning back and sipping my own drink. It too was coffee based but had a healthy wallop of a 12 year old Poit Dhubh whisky in it.

The resulting "drink" was peatily foul and smokey. Almost undrinkable in fact but you know, when in Rome.

I had seen the "recipe" for a "Mallaig Malice" in one of the bars nearby and had decided to just buy the main ingredient and make better ones myself.

Maybe we should get a house up here, it's just so beautiful.

The Good Lady purred with pleasure at the idea of me sweating to death at the coalface paying two mortgages.

Seriously. Imagine having these beaches on your doorstep every single day?

She closed her eyes no doubt imagining that Scotland had a summer that lasted longer than two weeks.

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I farted silently in her direction hoping that my beige vapours might bring her to her senses.

At the same time I fumbled for the bottle of that whisky that had far too manyH's in its name for its own good.

I found it and slopped some more in my mug, diluting my coffee to the point where it was becoming homeopathic.

And the sunsets. God, we don't see stuff like that in the city!

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Shtrew.

I nodded in complete agreement. Whatever she has just said was absolutely spot on, whatever it was.

Shtrew?

She looked at me as if I was an arse worm flailing about in the sand.

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Shtrew? I mean it's true. Yes, it's true.

I squinted at her like a latter day Jesus who had turned his coffee into whisky.

So you think we should? Get a house up her and go all country living?

Her voice had gone up in pitch and I wasn't sure if it was because she was excited or because I had drunk so much sneaky whisky that time itself was slowing down for me.

I did my best to put the arse worm out of my head for a moment and thought hard about living up here in the beautiful sticks.

A sheep baa'd in a nearby field and disturbed my train of thought. Fucking sheep, what right did they have to all of this? Maybe I should get a place up here and go out at night in my wolf coat and show those sheep who was boss.

I giggled at the idea of one thing leading to another and lots of sheepy booms trotting about all over the place in a few years.

Then I remembered the witchery.

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Witches always spoiled the Wolfy fun.

Hello? Hello, are you still with us?

The Good Lady clicked her fingers like castanets in front of me and I snapped out of my fevered imaginings of wolves, sheep and witches.

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I thought of the endless silver sand dunes and nodded at the idea of getting out of the city and all of the concrete madness that entailed.

Perhaps my dear... Perhaps.



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124 comments
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Where is it mate? I think one's life would be longer if lived there :)

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It's just up the north of Scotland. It's beautiful. So peaceful. It's turned me into a hippy 🤣🤣

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(Edited)

Oh that's lovely! The wide open spaces are just so dreamy. Guess you were in a Mallaig Malice state of mind. I could picture you in your wolf suit, stalking sheep in the dark of night lol

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I feel my happiest in the wolf suit!

It's mental for serene it is up here. Even the weather has been nice despite Google assuring me it should be raining all the time!

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bahh..don't let Google rain on your parade lol. You're having a damned good time and that's all that counts.

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I won't. It is usually dead accurate but it has been absolutely wrong this week, hallelujah!! 😀😀

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Hey what do you know, it's summer here today, but sadly leaving soon. You did better that us 'southerners' with 2 weeks.

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We have done alright for once! They say there is a bit of a micro climate up here as it's sheltered between islands. It must be true cos the weather is awful back in the city!

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So much for my 'blue-sky' day explores.., what a shit summer it has been, and how British we are tit-tattling about the weather.., I feel old.

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It makes you feel old though because it is so bad this year you can't help but talk about it! I bloody hate the normal oppressive grey skies

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I've heard there's some nice beaches in Scotland and it's not all horizontal rain or midges all the time. I'd want to see what it's like in the depths of winter before I moved.

Maybe I need to try some whisky in my coffee. Not sure it's allowed at work.

There's some brands of Scotch I am reluctant to order as I just don't know how to pronounce them.

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There are some lovely beaches but it is true, you would want to see a winter in any of these places before choosing something. Apparently everything closes down in winter which would be a bit dull.

And I'm the same with some of the names of the whiskys. Bloody Gaelic!!

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We were looking at doing a little tour of Scotland by train next month, but there may be issues finding somewhere to stay in places like Skye.

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It's definitely something that can be done by train on the west coast. That's what I like about this side is that there are stations all over the place even in tiny little not even villages. I've not been to Skye but accommodation can be tricky unless you plan well ahead

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Really wonderful piece! Initially I struggled to see the essence, but now I do.

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You have to watch out for those butt worms man. LOL

Those are some nice looking surroundings. I can understand the Good Lady's desires. If she puts her foot down, you may end up a corporate wage slave for eternity man.

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I know and feck that corporate wage slaveness!

Butt worms, the curse of the world all over! 🤣🤣

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God, we don't see stuff like that in the city!

Amazing place and capture, that's why people who live in nature's lap are healthier and happier than us - no rush for them.

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They totally are. Makes you envious of that life!! Damned cities!!

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The place is beautiful that makes you want to stay in the place when retirement comes.😊

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Something has to take the sting out of retirement!! 😀😀

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Oh.. I'm sure there is an easy way. 😁

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"no doubt imagining that Scotland had a summer that lasted longer than two weeks."

That made me laugh....

Seeing your photos of that beautiful place, I can totally understand the daydream of living there and getting to see it all every day.

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What a dream it would be! We looked at the house prices. They are hilarious. So high because loads of people have had similar ideas 🤣🤣

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It's true, the better the view, the higher the prices and nearly anything where you can see water is sky high.

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The place is so amazing and peaceful. How I wish I could go on to that place and have a shot at that sunset. I loved the sunset; you incredibly captured it.

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That looks like an incredible spot. That first image is awesome. Well done! Would be a great location to retire to but like some others said in the comments the winters might be dreadful. Might have to just make it a regular visiting spot in the summer.

That arse worm looks deadly though

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I have no idea what the arse worm was but it filled me with fear!!!

Aye, it's totally lively up here but I suspect winters would be a awful. There would be no way to get out and about!

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Neat and scary as most things that are unknown are.

Yeah, windy and wet and the time of cold that gets into your bones, is how I imagine it to be

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Not at all what I envision when I think of Scotland. It might be fascinating the rest of the year if you never had to go outdoors and could just view it through the window.

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I live in this country and it wasn't what I envisaged of Scotland,lol. I am glad I found it though!

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You have just given me an idea of what Scotland looks like. I hope to be there someday
The view is really lovely and I’m sure the Good Lady will always want to wake up to see this view every morning

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This is a lovely little corner of it. It makes up for all the bleak parts! 😀😀

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Jesus, this had me laughing out loud so much my wife asked if I was watching Still Game on my laptop. So...are you getting a beach house?

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Haha, I wish. We were all going hi and started looking at prices and thought HOLY SHIT!!! 😀😀

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If it’s anything like America the prices are ridiculous!

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I think it is exactly like there. It's horrifying and ridiculous in equal measure!!

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Too many priceless sentences in here.

Some of my favorites

She closed her eyes no doubt imagining that Scotland had a summer that lasted longer than two weeks.

and

diluting my coffee to the point where it was becoming homeopathic.

You even inserted a fart joke!

Bravo :<)

P.S. Cheers for following my new (alt) account that might very well become my main account, from now on ( activity wise ).

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As soon as I saw the follow I thought it was familiar!!

Hehe, yes. What is a post without a fart joke!

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:<)

Hehe, yes. What is a post without a fart joke!


pretty empty
and less smelly.

Perhaps I should add fart jokes to mine but, then again, I prefer not to steal from the master(s).
I'm no Tarantino.

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How come you might switch accounts? You just starting from scratch or changing direction?

I am not sure it's a thing to be envied being a fart joke master 😀😀

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How come you might switch accounts? You just starting from scratch or changing direction?

A gut feeling. I try to explain a bit about it in my first post ( from yesterday ) on there.
Basically my main account feels too random and I feel a bit like a fresh start, after 7+ years on here.

I don't plan to totally stop posting on my previous account ( I was closing to hitting a 1000 posts ) but time will tell.

Also, maybe, I was getting tired of my real name as my user name.

I am not sure it's a thing to be envied being a fart joke master 😀😀

It is.

Between em and you: I am a very good arm pit farter, by the way.

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I like a good armpit fart!!!

I will have missed that one being on hols. Will go back and check!

I know what you mean. I wouldn't like my name to be my account name. There are too many screwballs on here pruning in the murky depths.

Whatever happens I shall be following you both !!

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The Good Lady purrs are music to my ears. Hehe, she got you right, and the whiskey in your guts made things better 😅.

Maybe I should get a place up here and go out at night in my wolf coat and show those sheep who was boss.

Well, I agree. Maybe you should, Hehe.

The pictures are beautiful 😍.

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whisky in a coffee? that's something new for me.

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It can be very nice but not with the whisky I was using!

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oh can you name some whisky that can go good with coffee?

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You are probably best with a generic one. The ones I try rarely work well! That and some cream. Makes it quite nice!

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That looks like a fabulous spot. Are you sure it's Scotland? It looks photoshopped from someplace warm..

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I photoshopped it from photos of Mars which is technically warmer than Scotland in summer 😜😜

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Wow, that is a nice view, and gorgeous photos. I can see why the Good Lady imagined living there. I don't know how it would look in the other days/months of the year, but if that is your daily view, that would be amazing.

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Hehe, yeah, in other days or times of the year it might be an entirely different story!

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Combination of coffee with wall topping of whisky. Something new.. The good lady is all set for a peaceful life, and so chose the beach side.

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A nice pic story for real. If it's country living, it's time for relaxation and retirement. City living for work work work!
Nice piece, not niece pice:)

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Yeah, stuff work work work. It's for chumps! 😜😜

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You are lucky... we always want to have a house there where the view is so recreated. In the ups and downs of life, getting a bit drunk and dreaming is allowed.

(I suppose there is protection against worms getting in there?)

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I live my life guarding against the worms!! 🤣🤣

Yes, to have such an idyllic life would be splendid. One must aspire!!

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We do it, we do it... we have to dream and wish for it to happen. 😁

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I was all going to say if we wish hard enough it will come but then my inner cynic punched my inner hippy! 😀😀

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Ah, It's just that cynics have little concentration and this exercise of wishing is not easy. 🤣
You have to be very creative to put every detail of what you want into your thoughts and experience sensations as if you were already living it. It sounds silly... but it's not.
😁

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Cynics just dont have the heart to believe! :OD

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🙂 I believe in human improvement hahaha... abrazo! Enjoy your Sunday.

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Beautiful place man! Is that still in Scotland or no?

I see you’ve at least got the advertisement of quality Italian coffee! Lavazza is my first choice in the liquid drugs.

My wife also wants to get a place on the beach, even 300 square feet of a shack just to be there. Costs 100k per 100 square feet though and I’m sure as shit not paying that! Lol

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Yeah, still Scotland! A bizarre micro climate region that seems to be warm when it shouldn't be!!

I wouldn't be paying the dosh either. Visiting will have to be enough!!

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It's definitely very pretty! Is it swimmable though, it looks almost like it might be warm but I don't trust your part of the world to have any temperatures I would consider warm for any appreciable length of time XD

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The good lady swam in it but I hate to admit, I tried but couldn't do it. I think the water was about 10 or 11 degrees and it was just too frigid. My feet became painful when I went in paddling!

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Is the good lady secretly a selkie?

I've done freezing cold water before (feel like it was from Antarctica but am not sure how cold it actually was) but the air was mid to high 30s XD

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I think she might be a Selkie! She has been going out with her friend to one of the local Lochs for some wild swimming and it seems to have made her immune to the cold waters!

I have swam in fairly cold waters when the air is in the twenties but the high teens just wont do!

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Bare minimum I'll go into any kind of water is high 20s x_x Anything approaching 20 is too cold for me aaaaahhhhhhh.

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Does Scotland really have places like that ? Or was the Whiskey taking the pictures?

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Looks lovely where you are. Is this the place you visited this time last year and there was some secret spot through a jungle. 🤣

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That's the one! We found an even madder route through the dunes this time which is the kind of thing pirates would use!!

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The utter of the word pirate givens me a tinge of excitement.

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Poit Dhubh is Gaelic for "Black Pot"

Drink along embellished mind wanderings, it looks a fine whisky to me tad expensive.

Hope that house comes about sooner than later, escape city life, picture perfect to keep dreams alive.

!BEER

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It is a terrible weakness that I hardly ever indulge but I do love a good whisky! In this case it was worth it!!

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Nothing beats a good whisky watching the sun go down, splendid views, glad the sun has behaved too.

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If you are going to downvote someone which is fine and allowed, with your little bot army filled with unimaginative names, at least maybe don't be a basic little tiny coward who does it silently, and have the nuts to leave a comment as well, explaining your rationale.

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I don't have to explain. Nor do I have to call you names.

Cool huh?

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Nah, it's just cowardly and weak.

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I’m in your neck of the woods tonight my friend in Glasgow . Drinking Gaelic Coffees . Great aul drink

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No way man! Are you! Get in!!

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(Edited)

Mar hall you know it? Come down for a gin

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Lol, that's oot in the sticks!! Nice place though I have heard!

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If you'd said I could have bought you a pint! 😀😀

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I’m in some old country estate . Good aul craic

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