Giving and Delta - LOH 206

Back then, I had this weird way of saving money. While everybody saved to have their savings save them in their time of need, I was saving for others. It's not something I did intentionally. I loved having money at hand so I always saved my money. Anytime, visitors came around and gave me money, I was never one to go buy snacks and eat it immediately.

I would save this money in my little purses and keep on admiring them. I didn't mind if I starved when my mom wasn't around just so I didn't touch my money collection. But you see when someone around me cries that he or she is hungry, I wouldn't even think twice about it. I would go there and get the person something even if it cost half of my savings. I wasn't spending anything on myself but on others.

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I kept on living like that as a child till the day my mom decided it was becoming too much. She took the little purse where I always kept my money and turned it upside down. I stared at my all precious currencies sprawled out in front of me, unsure of what was going to happen next. She took I and my brother to a shop and said we should both get what we wanted but I was going to pay for my own buy. I came back with nothing. Whatever I picked, I thought of how there would be a better opportunity to spend it and it wouldn't be nice spending it on myself just like that. Then I dropped it.

The moment we got back, my mom was very pissed and she seized all the pennies in my bag. I was so pained but there was nothing I could do about it . She used the money to get me a nice bag later on. And then on, my mom kept seizing my savings no matter where I hid them. She seized and collected them, using them to get me things for myself. My childish heart wasn't open to the idea but what choice did I have? Soon enough, I began looking forward to saving and giving my mom my money just so she could get me some stuff. I basked in the pride of having something to call mine. Something I got with my own money, even though it wasn't hard earned cause I wasn't working, I got it for myself and by myself.

The prompt for the week in the Ladies of Hive community said:

How do you create balance between giving to others and prioritizing your own needs?

Back then, as a child, most of my needs were taken care of by my parents. So, I kept on giving and giving out whenever I could without thinking of myself. But growing up, I have come to learn that there are situations where you have to be truthful to yourself that nothing else matters but you. When I give, I make sure it's convenient for me (the giver) and the receiver as well. Most of the times, when giving, I tend to overlook that tiny aspect of rationality calling me back to order but when I actually do, I question: Will giving this to this person make me feel loss in any way? If I give to this person, what will become of what I had planned for what I'm about to give? Who at the moment between us both has the most pressing need?

And with asking myself these questions, I make a decision. To give or not to give. Trade satisfying my needs for another or for myself.

Being selfless is a really beautiful thing to be but at the same time, we should be kind to ourselves. It's okay to choose you over others sometimes, you know?

With that, I would also like to answer another question which says:

What travel destination has impacted you the most and why?

I haven't really travelled to so many places. I think I've travelled to just about two states in my country. One being the state closest to where I stay, for a church program and the other being where I hail from and where I currently school. I school in Delta state University, Abraka, Delta state, Nigeria and I've been in the school for over two years.

Travelling to that place has impacted me a lot. I'm taking a course there and that is definitely one of the greatest impacts on me by the school environment. Also, it has impacted me a lot mentally. My first year in the university was my first time of living independently. I got to achieve that independent mindset and was exposed to a life with diverse perspectives and ideas. There's also the stress and academic pressure that comes with it.

I think my university is the destination that has impacted me the most in my life currently. And I'm grateful for the experiences experienced and the experiences to be experienced.

Thanks for reading

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