You Come First -LOH#206

There are some times that you just have to undergo a very tedious situation before you can understand somethings in life. And you have to realise the situation if not you won't see it as something you should actually learn from. Turning difficult situation into valuable life lesson requires a certain mindset.

There was this time i was working at a school. You know that moment whereby you were being used but you dont actually realise it all because you love what you do and don't want to dissapoint those that have faith in you. The director of the school sees me as a young and hardworking girl. Now the "young" part is what will make people override and cheat you. I was mainly employed as the administrator and software manager. This has to do with marking of registers on the software from kindergarten class to the SSS 1, imputing of test scores , exam scores, psychomotor and affective traits, class teacher's comments, headmistress' comments for the primary section and principal's comment for secondary section, i do all these in order to generate the students result from the computer. Aside from these, i am typing the exam questions for the whole classes meanwhile, the primary section, Primary 1 to 5, are offering 19 subjects and secondary section, JSS 1 to 3 and SSS 1, are offering 17 subjcets, not to talk of the kindergarten and Nursery classes. Also, i was taking all the secondary classes 3 subjects and i am also a class teacher, as if that was not enough, i was assigned the duty of managing the staff tax payment. Only me, no assistance.

The difficulty of this situation now is that, the workload was too much for me. If i am not in a class teaching, i will be in the staff room working on the system. Even when i get home, i have to continue typing so as to meet up with the deadline. Whereas, they are paying me the same amount other teachers were being paid. If you are in Nigeria you should have an idea of how much a teacher is earning. The work was so stressful but i couldn't complain to the director because i don't want him to see me as an unserious element or that i am trying to avoid my duty, i tried all my best to please everyone. I later complained to the principal but nothing was done.

At first i never saw this situation as been severe, until one day i sat down and started to reflect on everything, then i realized that i was being used but i was thinking on another hand that even if i should leave the job, what will i be doing? How will i secure another job? I continue contemplating on this until one day i was seriously ill and the management did not even grant me a day to rest and treat myself all because it was exam period and work need to be done perfectly. Then i came to my senses that, they don't really care about me, they just want their work to be done and ready. Even though i tried changing the situation into an opportunity bacuse i learnt a lot myself and i grew in experience, i just couldn't keep going it was like a "professional bullying".

The life changing lesson i learnt from this is that, in situations like this, i should always look out for myself and put myself first. If i know i am not okay with something, no matter how much i am willing to please the person, i should speak out and refuse to go any further. My mother will tell me that "Don't start what you can't finish" and Yoruba adage says "What you wont accept when you are rich, start rejecting it when you are poor". Though there are sometimes that you just have to deny yourself somethings just to get things done but i have stopped inconveniencing myself to please others. I have been treating myself with kindness and understanding. So never forget that 'You Come First'