My fears and thoughts //loh 194

Hello ladies welcome to a new week !
it a great privilege to be part of this community.

How do you feel when alone answering your thoughts?

When I'm alone I feel down sometimes I talk alone, remembering all that's has happened to me that I allowed,I cry and think with a heavy heart and chest pain.

last year I was in a relationship with someone that doesn't know my value I couldn't tell anyone all because of the love that has overshadowed me I kept it to myself .
I wasn't happy in the relationship,I saw different red flags but I didn't go I stayed .
Three months after I had etopic, I was bleeding and I thought it was my normal monthly vistor( menstruation).
Six days after I was still bleeding , I was weak I didn't tell any of my family members not even my mother I carried the fear myself .
My sister call around that time I couldn't tell her because of the fear in my heart that time I don't know was going on with me.
My boyfriend travelled and left me alone at home that night I couldn't walk again. Thank God his friend was in his apartment
He was the one that carried me to hospital that night .

My inner thoughts
I couldn't tell my heart was heavy
I had different inner thought .
I: if I tell my mom she will scold me
II: If I tell her she will call me a wayward child,she will tell my brother
The second day the doctor's said I am going to be operated that one of my falopian tubes has ruptured hmmm the fear was high.i was weak .I carried the fear in my heart and I also have it at the back of my mind that I will not dead.
Back then before my grandmother died she was my adviser I do share my thoughts and the secrets with her that I know I can't tell my mom may her soul rest in peace.
If she was still alive what happen to me won't have happened.
Thanks for reading.