LOH Contest #160: Always Loved, Never Forgotten, Forever Miss You @erikasue

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I have mentioned in my previous posts how I was so deeply lost in my soul when my late sister, passed away unexpectedly after being hit by a vehicle on August 15, 2022, while we were both standing by the road and waiting for the bus at Alae, Manolo Fortich, Bukidnon, Philippines. I was saved from death by my guardian angel, my dearest sister @erikasue.

When I read the question for this week’s Ladies of Hive contest, I was truly moved and I got teary-eyed. At first, it was so heavy for me that it was hard to express my thoughts in words because I had many guilt feelings and I cannot deny the fact that a part of me is still mourning and in grief. And the truth is it is truly the hardest to lose a loved one in a blink and how tragic that day was.

At the moment, little by little, I am typing through my phone trying to speak out my suppressed feelings and I finally started to write a letter for my late sister as I get emotional with the question of the Ladies of Hive Community as follows:

Do you know someone dear to your heart who passed away unexpectedly? In case he/she can read your letter from heaven, what do you want to tell her or him? You can express your feelings, emotions, and everything else you’ve been holding inside that remained unspoken before he/she passed away.


November 15, 2023

Dear Peboi,

How are you? I miss you so much! Huhuh. I wish I could have hugged you as I hand this letter to you now and I hope this letter finds you well wherever you are now.

From the tragic day, it was so heavy for me to see you bloody, crushed, and damaged.

I could never forget that day, because it left me with a dead soul deep inside myself. I got depressed for months and until now I have been coping with that traumatic experience.

I could never forget your last words before the accident happened. We should have been in Butuan City on August 16, 2022, to get our passports because of our dream teaching in the USA, but it did not happen because life was uncontrollable and the tragic day left us all hanging.

Know that I truly miss your presence in the house every day. If there are words more than ‘so much’ and ‘very much’, that is how I missed you so badly.

I miss your beautiful face, I miss your sweet voice, I miss your smiles, I miss your laughs, I miss your lovely voice, and even your angry voice.

I admire you so much my dearest sister, for you have it all. But still, I salute you for being so humble. The thousands of people during your wake proved how good and kind you were when you were still alive.

I am missing a lot of times when we are together. Those memories when both of us find it hard to wake up because of a tiring day, that we all wanted to lie down all day long in bed or travel. Those moments when we find “me time”, are the most precious thing in the world. And all the memories we enjoyed together. I miss you so much, Boi. Huhuh.

I know how you have been a great motivator to me when it comes to every endeavor I am taking. Although I think of myself as less, you are always proud of me and you always believe in me that I can make it even though deep inside I am feeling weak. And you were always there at my weakest and crying moments.

You know how I was not as interested as you when you entered the Hive Ecosystem because my heart was left in another blogging world and I only wanted to focus there. You know that it was so hard for you to convince me to join Hive when we signed in together on June 15, 2022 after you discovered it through Splinterlands. But you did not give up inspiring me and saying many interesting things about Hive.

The memory is so vividly clear to me on the night of August 14, 2022, when you inspired and convinced me to continue my journey in Hive after my hiatus in Hive for almost two months. I came back as active on that night since you delegated 50 Hive Power so I could engage and interact in Hive.

I could still remember how you said, “Bantay lang ka Ate Jeddah ha? Padayon baya sa Hive te”. And it was as good as saying that I should keep going and never quit. And so, I replied yes to you and promised that I would stay for the community.

Boi, I am now here in Hive, I left the other world because I promised you. Now, I am staying for the community and like the many wonderful experiences that you shared with me, I was able to experience them all. Little by little I am growing and I know you are always proud of me, especially for every milestone I have reached. Hope I made you happy that I was able to keep our promises.

If only there were visiting hours in heaven, I could have you every day.

You know how I was so deeply lost when you passed away. I was depressed for months. Your passing left me to carry the heavy weight of your absence every day with so much guilt and what-ifs. But later, I understand that everything happens for a reason, and now, you are our guardian angel.

Palangga kaayo ka ni Ate, Boi. Huhuh. Please know that you are always loved, and never forgotten, and I will forever miss you, Boi.

I love you, very very much!

With all my love and heartfelt thoughts,
@pinkchic, Ate Jeddah

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Disclaimer: All texts and pictures are my own unless otherwise stated.

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62 comments
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I really moved with your article Ma'am, it so hard to accept and moved on. It so heartbreaking and traumatic, I felt that because I also witnessed my mom passed away unexpectedly last July. How I wish that there is visiting hours in heaven, that I could tell to my mom that I missing her so much. ❤️🥹

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I so feel you, sis. The truth is that it is the hardest to lose a loved one. How I wish we could visit them and know how are they doing right now. A big hug sis and sending love!
!LUV !LADY !HUG

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Indeed, there's no way to fully describe how much we miss someone we love who's no longer with us. I can feel how much you miss Erika through your words, though 🥺

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Yes, sis. Behind my smiles are the deepest sorrows. Thank you so much, Cee. !LADY !LUV

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you got me crying sis, losing someone you love dearly is a lot of pain, especially on how she died. Forever missed indeed, not only by you but by teh people who knew her.

Your message is too deep sis, it touched my heart and made me cry. I hope your recovery is a n easy way.

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Huhuh. The hardest and the most tragic thing that happened to me, sis. I could not imagine that day like everything sank in for a while after being shocked by the tragedy. Honestly, it was so hard. That only the loudest screams and cries would understand it all. Thank you so much, sis. Appreciate you for stopping by.
!PIZZA

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We still remember Erikasue and that tragic day. I can imagine the depression you went through and all the sadness... She is now your angel guardian!

🥺

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I can still remember those days when I heard your beautiful name, mipiano, that my sister kept on telling me since she was so interested in your amazing community, Hive Open Mic. She kept on convincing me to continue my Hive journey, but honestly, at those moments, I did not know how to navigate in Hive so I was on hiatus for months until one night came before she died and promised me to be back once more. I never thought that was the last night that I could bond with her.

It was only when she died that I read her posts and have seen her seeing through your beautiful themes weekly. As always, I would never stop saying thank you to you for the care and support to my sister in Hive when she was still alive, my dear mipiano. I may not know you personally, but from the bottom of my heart, I am truly thankful.

Best regards and take care always! !HUG !LADY

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I was really surprised when I read thr news about her passing, so sudden, like, nakapalitan ko pa sya mg comment ee. And then, boom, my gosh, the goosebumps I felt that time coz I really can't believe it. Ganon nalang talaga kadaling bawiin ang buhay (。ŏ﹏ŏ). We know how heartbroken you are that time. Sana lang nababasa din nya to, to let her know how much you miss her.

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Huhuh. Life could be easy to explain but so complex sis. I suddenly get weak every time I hear the word death. It seemed it was the hardest for me. Because of what had happened, it caused me so much anxiety about losing a loved one. Life is so short indeed. Huhuh. How I wish she was still alive. Thanks for being a good friend to my sister. Much love!
!LUV !LADY

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I knew of this sad part of of your life just from reading from you for awhile. I didn't know the details. Even without the traumatic experience its still hard when someone we love departs us. I simply can't imagine what all you have been through 😢 To lose someone in a blink of eye is crushing, happened to me with my childhood best friend. We may be healed eventually but we still carry the scars. She is your Guardian Angel and I'm sure she is very proud of you. She is now in good hands with other departed love ones. I truly believe there is always someone (probably many) from above waiting and watching over us. Your courage and strength to write this is incredible. I give you a huge hug friend !HUG 💚!LUV

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One time she asked me, how we were when we got older. We just laughed together and I told her, probably she would just look alike my aunt, and she laughed when she said that I would look like my grandmother. But then now, it is sad to know about the reality that I will grow old alone. No more sister to be with until the end of my life. Huhuh. Thank you so much for the sympathy my friend. Appreciate you as always and thanks for being one of my good friends here.
!LUV !HUG !PIZZA

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@pinkchic, sorry!

You are out of hugs for today.

You can call the HUG bot a maximum of 3 per day.

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Never a problem friend. The one thing you have because of your special connection is the good memories that you can hold onto. Our physical lives are short compared to the eternity in heaven. You will connect and communicate again with no end. 🤗 ♥️ 💚 ♥️

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This is emotional sis but you know you can still pursue your dream of becoming a teacher in the US.. Erika will be so happy if that happens ☺️...

Same with you, I have so much guilt in me that it's still hard to move. It's not easy, honestly.

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Yes, sis. I understand what you are feeling now and I so feel you. How hard it is to talk about death since my sister passed away. I always say if only heaven had visiting hours, if only I knew what is her life now, and talk to her once more, but life is uncontrollable, and the only way after all is acceptance. But still, as we grow older, the scars are there. I just hope that we can get through this. I know it was so hard on your part also that one day, in a blink, you lost your dear father. May he rest in peace.

And regarding the dream of working in the USA, Erika really wanted to go abroad. But iba pala yung abroad nya, abroad in heaven pala. huhuh

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Our loved ones who have departed this dimension will always live on in our memories. We must honor them eternally.
Very touching publication.
Love from Caracas.

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Awww, thank you so much my friend for your words of sympathy. Appreciate you so much. Have a nice time and take care!

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Aaaaarrrghhh pinkchic you just made me cry!! 🥺
I miss @erikasue too 😭
She’s really a very kind and gentle soul~
I hope we could get visiting hours in heaven so we could visit our loved ones whenever we want to see and be with them.. 😖

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Huhuh. Although a year has passed, grabe. Sakit gehapon kaayo. Can't believe everything happened but just entrust everything above. Thank you so much Withings.

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I can still remember the day when I found out on discord that @erikasue had passed away. I just couldn't believe it as I was still curating her the previous night and got a thank you comment from her. It's still very shocking.

By the way, I've always wondered, what happened to the driver? Was he convicted of his reckless driving causing death?

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Yes, the driver was convicted of reckless driving and was imprisoned. It shocked everyone even here in my place. Huhuh. And that was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. I got depressed and it was hard for me to cope, but I was able to express my suppressed emotions through writing here in Hive. Honestly, after that tragic event, I got Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Got panic attacks and anxiety attacks. And a good thing, little by little I am recovering as I am undergoing therapy and found a great Doctor that gave me the right meds to cure it. Now, I am feeling better, but I cannot deny the fact that a part of me is so sad about losing her. Thank you so much, dear LivingUk, for your time and attention.

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@pinkchic, You have received 1.0000 LOH for posting in Ladies of Hive. We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hodl LOH tokens over a long period of time.

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If only there were visiting hours in heaven 😭😭😭

Hi, my sweet friend. I couldn't pass by your blog and not read this post. Your sister will always be a part of your life. You will see her in your reflection, thoughts, and actions. Her memory will always burn bright for you - she was loved and so are you. Your sister passed away on my birthday 😔 When I see your pain spill onto the page and appreciate the horror of that day all over again for you, my heart breaks and I wish I could wipe away some of those tears for you. You will have to take my prayers across the miles instead. I hope one day that your heart experiences peace again and then maybe it might be time to pursue your dreem of teaching in the USA. Your sister would have wanted you to be happy. Sending you much love, my Pink Crystal 💗🫂🙏

!LUV ! !Hug

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Awww, thank you so much, Sam. It was hard for me to write this but I was truly moved by the question of Ladies of Hive for this week. I admit I have so many suppressed feelings and this letter somehow made my heart lighter. But I can not deny the fact that I am missing her every day although she is now my guardian angel. Thank you so much for the love and care as always my dearest friend. A big hug from thousands of miles away. Love you always. !LUV !HUG

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(Edited)

Losing someone in that way is so painful, traumatic and depressing. Though I haven't meet your sister personally, I miss her too. She was one of those supportive Hivers that I know and met.

If only there were visiting hours in heaven, we could have visited our loved ones. I badly miss my son who just left us few days ago.

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Yes sis. Thank you so much for your wonderful remarks. Know that I so appreciate you for stopping by. Have a great day!

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I also miss @erikasue. Kugihan kay to sya mangoment sa mga post.

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As in sis. Huhuh. Daghan kaayong salamat for remembering my sister. Appreciate you so much! Best regards sis.

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How I missed erikasue huhuhu, we have the same date kdtong paglarga nko pa Davao ba. Hope okay nka krn sis ug time will heal to all of us, of missing her so much🤗. Love love erikasue🥰...

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Thank you so much sis for loving my sis. Appreciate you so much as always. Lablab!

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I can fully understand your loss of @erikasue and your friendship with her. ❤️
Thank you for sharing @pinkchic

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Awwww many thanks for your attention and wonderful remarks my dear friend. Have a nice time and I hope you are having a great day!

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(Edited)

May her soul rest in peace. I remember her so much because she loves to sing, the last comment I made was about P!nk song which is why I still remember her to this day.

When I heard the news of her passing, I immediately checked the comments she made on my posts to confirm it was her. She was your sister, and I'm deeply saddened by her loss.

I can imagine the trauma you be going through, as I also lost someone I loved in an accident. It took me almost a year to start feeling like myself again, but the trauma still affects me to this day.

Let's pray that she's now in heaven, rejoicing in eternal happiness.🙏

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Aw, thank you so much for the sweet thoughts for my sister and for being one of her good friends when she was still alive in Hive. Know that I so appreciate you, sis. May her soul rest in peace. She is now my guardian angel but life really hits hard about the reality. Much love sis and once again, thank you so much.
!HUG !LADY

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Let's keep her in our thoughts. She will always be remembered here on Hive. I know it's been hard for you until now, but life has to move on. I believe she will be watching over you from heaven.🙏❤️

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Hello pinkchic!

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