Dear Diary..... Loh #158

Dear Diary...

Last night was one I never believed could happen to me. I bowed my head while I allowed those tears to flow down my cheeks and then to my lap. I couldn't control myself, after a few minutes, looked up and asked why it happened. I don't want to question God at all because I know He understands everything. The night was a different one as I never knew I could find myself in such a situation.

All my life, I have hated long distance journeys. I feel weak when I go on a trip but here comes one that has opened its wings wide, waiting for me to jump on it and start a new life in a strange land. A land I have no father nor mother. A land I have no relatives or friends except if I would make new ones. A land I never envisaged.

I stared shockingly at the call-up letter and saw where I was posted. If I had known, I would have worked my way to prevent it, now the deed has been done unless I decide not to go, but would I cancel this again? What excuse would I give this time around? Do you remember the last time I was posted to serve my father's land was in August but I cancelled it because of Grandma's burial? I was happy they posted me to the West thinking there would be a high chance of being thrown there again.

Do you know how I had many plans during our vacation? I mean that of my sister and I? We passed through the state and I started imagining myself serving there. I had gotten myself prepared for it and got excited I wasn't thrown in a far distance.

How I detest the North area, especially with how the insecurity is over there. The kidnappings, killings, and the like are what makes me hate going to the North but does it mean insecurity isn't everywhere? How I wished I could be posted back to a familiar state. Where I would be able to travel home and visit my family whenever I want to.

I saw the call-up letter written that I had been posted to Kebbi state, in the Northern part of the country. Of all states, why that particular place? This wasn't my plan. I talked to God to perhaps give me a sign last night if truly He wants me to go there but I woke up with a different feeling; not after crying my eyes out last night. I wept bitterly and asked the question, why me?

Why won't it be you? I guess that's what you'd asked. The same question is asked by many people who aren't satisfied with something. But the deed has been done because I will soon be travelling a 16-hour journey in a couple of days to the North where I will have my three weeks camping there. Once I get there and it's a place I would love to be, then, I would stay and spend the compulsory one year in a strange land, but if not, then I would have to try my best with the method available which is relocation so I can come back to the part where I want which is the West.

This is my concern, dear Diary and I hope God guide me as I go on this long journey.

_{This is my entry to the Ladies of Hive contest}

Thanks for your time on my blog.