It was late at night and I was sleepy, but I needed to organize things for my first day at college. While rummaging through some piles of books in my room, I found a seemingly hidden diary.

When I opened it, I realized that it was my handwriting, but I didn't remember writing those things. Nobody comes into my room, I've lived alone for years. Leafing through the pages, things started to get strange. The diary was full of drawings and symbols I'd never seen, with notes about the search for answers. Answers to what?

I read on and found accounts of dialogues with unknown people, but which touched on subjects such as dreams, fears and hopes. They sounded like parts of my personality or forgotten memories. Was I going mad? Or were my dormant personalities waking up while I slept?

At the end of the diary, there was an outline of my sleepwalking self's plans and desires: to learn a new skill, to travel and to reconnect with someone from the past. These aspirations reflected a quest for growth and self-discovery. Could the fact that I was going to college have awakened an awareness in my subconscious?

After reading it, I realized that those revelations were just an opportunity. The diary became a guide for me to explore new possibilities in life. And so, the next day, I went to college determined to change and listen to what I wanted to tell myself. Of course, it all makes sense now because I always woke up more tired than I was going to sleep.

It's a little tricky for me to write this. I have trouble falling asleep most of the time. Even if I am asleep, it felt like I'm half awake. Especially after I have stopped smoking and the vaccine shot, my hearing become 50x more sensitive. Cricket sound at night, the bull frog by the sewage, the honda civic pulling 9krpm at the next industrial area some 3 miles away from our apartment. I'm not exactly sure if this is insomnia, but during the day felt a lot more like sleep walking driving to work. I can hardly remember what my boss barking at me, probably the same old crap, about figures. I know I nod on all the points during the sales meeting, but I can't really remember what was being discussed.

And sometimes when I really can't sleep and there's nothing going on at the TV, when I read back some of the email, that was a true horror. Sometimes I don't even what I wrote in my email during the day 😅 I guess my email is my sleep walking diary. It usually contains some of the minutes, some sales strategy that I can't even remember how I came up with the idea.

One day when I woke up I found some sheets stuck like an improvised book next to my pillow and on them was written: "IDIOT, sleep more than 2 hours a day or it will kill us and I won't have time to watch One Piece before we die from lack of sleep."

One day I woke up earlier than usual and found near the bedside table a strange document, it had a handwriting similar to mine but it was uglier and disorganized, it looked like a list of things to do with a checklist of finished things, among them they said:

1. get the lazy one up early to exercise because this body belongs to both of us.
2. eat chocolate when she sleeps because when she wakes up she says it makes her fat, what an illusion.
3. Keep the good memories and turn the bad ones into life experiences, make her believe that this is the way she grows.
4. Create a motivation to live, find someone who will make this land and sow a seed, to see if this plant bears fruit 🤣.
5. Remind her that she is intelligent and beautiful, to show men only her beauty so that they are not frightened by her intelligence, but not to forget it.
6. Hide the notebook.

This last one ran out of the checklist.