Breaking Vows: My Take on the Philippines' Divorce Bill

Well, the divorce bill is a hot topic, isn’t it? Most of the Filipinos yearned for this bill to be passed because—who wouldn’t if you’re trapped in a marriage that you don’t want anymore?

I wasn’t really into the idea of divorce when I first heard of it. Before, I saw divorce as harmful to the sanctity of marriage. I mean, why would humans separate what God had already bound? It’s my initial reaction to that idea because studying in a school ruled by sisters taught me everything I didn’t know about our religion, and one of the things I learned was the sanctity of marriage. However, my initial disapproval of divorce somehow shifted when my knowledge about what’s really happening in the outside world grew. I began to see things that I had overlooked before, and these things and people somehow influenced me to come to where I am now in this issue.

Konnichiwa Hivers! Tis I, your ridgette again, and for today I will share with you all my views on one of this month’s Hive PH questions:

Bilang sine-celebrate natin ang ating kalayaan ngayong June, ano ang masasabi mo tungkol sa divorce bill?

But before I share with you all my full blown opinion about it, let’s get to know first what this divorce bill is really all about.

Absolute Divorce Act

House Bill No. 9349, commonly known as the Absolute Divorce Act, is an act that reinstitutes absolute divorce as an alternative mode for the dissolution of marriage. So what is this bill all about? This means that this bill aims to give spouses, who were obviously trapped in an irredeemable failed marriage, the opportunity to secure an absolute divorce as an alternative way of completely ending their marriage and their legal marriage as spouses. Divorce is undeniably much faster than annulment, but still, the married couple must undergo well-defined judicial procedures before they will be granted the right to marry again for another chance to achieve happiness in marital life. The Philippine Congress approved the Absolute Divorce Act in its final reading, thus giving the country a chance to finally allow divorce.

So what does divorce really mean?

According to what I’ve read from a news article online, divorce is the dissolution of marriage through a legal process that’s decreed by a court. Through this, a former married couple can marry again, as long as the court approves the petition. Also, divorce most likely takes less time—around six to twelve months, depending on the situation. If you compare it to annulment, divorce is really much more convenient and time-saving.

However, it can’t be obtained by just anybody because, like I’ve mentioned, the couple must first undergo the well-defined judicial procedures before they will be granted the right to marry again. Yes, anyone can file for divorce, but still have to go through a thorough process and have the court carefully review the grounds laid for divorce. The grounds for divorce are almost the same as grounds for legal separation under the Family Code of the Philippines. Some of the grounds include: physical violence or abusive behavior directed at the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner; attempts to corrupt or engage the petitioner, a common child, or the child of the petitioner in prostitution and corruption; drug and gambling addiction of the respondent; homosexuality of the respondent; subsequent bigamous marriage of the respondent; marital infidelity of the respondent; and many more.

Why get divorce when there’s annulment?

Many people were confused about what’s the difference between those two since both of them involve the dissolution of marriage. Well, divorce means that a marriage is legally terminated by the state, but still, there will be records that you were married before. On the other side, annulment means completely making the marriage null or invalid, thus technically erasing the existence of the marriage of an annulled couple. Further, divorce, as I’ve mentioned, is much more convenient and less time-consuming than annulment. Also, according to the various articles I’ve read online, getting annulled is more expensive than getting divorced because establishing the grounds for an annulment is more difficult than establishing the grounds for divorce.

Unsolvable marital discords usually lead to many serious problems that don’t only affect the married couple but also their children, if they have any. Wives and even husbands who face serious problems with their abusive partners really need it because, for them, it’s the fastest way to break free from their unhealthy marriage. I’ve seen many families who really suffered a lot due to their inability to break free from the shackles of their irredeemable marriage. I can’t really put all the blame on the couple because I believe that each married couple had a different reason why they married each other. Most did it for their so-called love, which usually turns into resentment and bitterness when they get to truly know each other, while some did it for responsibility and so-called honor. Every one of them has a different reason, but what resonates well with all of them is their desire to break free from their dysfunctional marriages.

A sad truth, but the world is changing, and so are we, the people in it. With the presence of the new advancements, we became knowledgeable on a lot of things. Being knowledgeable somehow entailed becoming fixated on following other people's ideals. These ideals somehow affect how we perceive things, and one of these things is marriage. Despite the incessant advice of the older generation about the commitment that comes with marriage, young people often underestimate it.

They’re so fixated on their own ideals about marriage that marriage should be like this and that, and I’m sure that I’m marrying the right person because he or she meant everything to me in the moment. They became slaves to their emotions and desires, thus leaving all their reasoning behind. I know some of you may wonder why I harshly criticize young people when, in fact, I’m one of them. Well, I just felt the need to, because that's what I’ve seen these days. Despite the fact that I really respect the sanctity of marriage, I believe that divorce should be legalized here in our country because the need is really apparent.

I know that some may protest because it may affect how young people see and value marriage, but apparently it’s already affected. The more that you deprive them of it, the more they’ll yearn for it, and yearning alone won’t satisfy them. To not need divorce is to fix their mindset, one that you can’t do because you can’t control their minds. Also, allowing divorce would not really destroy families because how can you destroy something that’s already dysfunctional? Rather, it is recognizing that some marriages succeed while others do not—but let’s not mistake this freedom as a way to flee.from a lifelong commitment. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, so choose the person that you really know. Be certain that he or she is the only one you’ll ever want be with, may it be for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death that will make you two apart.

That's all for now, Hivers. Thanks for being with me till the end. Always remember to don't rush things, especially when it involves life-long commitment because you can never undo the mistake that you've done.

Mata ne~