Fiction: A new hope (Una nueva esperanza) [EN/ES]

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(Edited)

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English

A new hope

“Attack!” came a shuddering cry as the battle was at its height.

The castle was under siege by rebel forces intent on overthrowing the tyrant Mardok, who for several decades had ruled with an iron fist and plunged the kingdom of Apalar into misery and famine.

“Askar, the troops can no longer hold out. The defense of the castle is too strong. Our soldiers are falling like flies. We must give the order to retreat.” Sweat ran down Hamulet's forehead.

“No, it must be today, or Mardok will grow stronger and summon his allies to wipe out the resistance.” Askar stared at Hamulet.

But Hamulet was right, and the warriors were going to be defeated by the rain of arrows and the phalanxes of the Sidor, winged warriors. It was a matter of time before everything ended. Askar hoped for a miracle deep in his heart.

“Hamulet, let's fight for our kingdom and freedom.” Askar came out of the store with fury and shouted, “To storm the castle, warriors. Freedom is today. Tomorrow is too late to go on living.”

The apocalypse had broken out on the battlefield, and neither side wanted to surrender. Hamulet and Askar took the lead to start fighting the Sidor. At that moment, Askar received a blow and fell unconscious...

Askar slowly opened his eyes, and in the shadows, he saw Hamulet, who tenderly kissed him. “Oh, my beloved Hamulet. I am blessed to have your love.”

“Askar, my beloved, Xilas seeks you.” Hamulet was saying to him in a low almost hushed tone.

Askar and Hamulet were going to meet Xilas, who lay sitting in a worn wooden chair with the paint worn off by time. “Xilas, good fortune be with you.” Askar raised his hand in greeting.

“Askar, it has been a long time. What has brought you to my humble abode?” The warrior pulled a chair closer to where Xilas stood.

Xilas looked at Hamulet suspiciously, and he looked back at Askar. “We can talk alone, my dear friend.”

Askar looked at Hamulet and said to Xilas, “What you have to say will be no secret. Hamulet is my wife and my right hand in the kingdom's affairs. Speak with confidence that there is nothing to fear.”

“Forgive me, Askar, you know distrust is my friend.” He looked at the two of them and crossed his legs to seek comfort in the old chair. “What has brought me here is the matter of Mardok...” Xilas paused while ordering a glass of wine, then continued his story. “Our spies have informed us that Mardok is ill and that the wise men of the kingdom are desperate to find a cure.”

Hamulet took the floor, “It is great news. The tyrant will finally fall.” The beautiful warrior's face lit up at Xilas' words.

“It is the moment we have been waiting for. That is why we must act immediately, attack the castle, and overthrow the tyrant. We must do it before the sages find the cure.” Xilas pounded the table frantically.

“But, we don't have enough warriors to take the castle, They would tear us apart quickly and without mercy,” Askar retorted.

“I had thought of that and that is why I have decided to go before the Drans, you know they have fighting dragons, and besides they want revenge on Mardok for what he did to their sacred land.” Xilas stood and walked to the window.

“But we don't have time, the attack should be quick, and the journey to the Drans' realm, will take you weeks.” Hamulet was addressing Xilas vehemently.

“I thought that while I go in search of the Drans, you guys go make the raid and with a week to go before the new moon rises, storm the castle.” Xilas looked at Hamulet waiting for a comment.

“And if you don't make it that would be the end of us, what guarantee do we have that you will make it?” Hamulet asked, wanting to unveil the secrets of those honey-colored eyes.

“You must believe in me. My word is my god and promises my settled debts.” Xilas put his hand on his heart.

Hamulet showed a hint of distrust, but Askar was convinced. “Then so be it, my dear Xilas. I will watch the horizon as we fight for a new hope with our swords.” Askar and Xilas shook hands in a sign of pact and promise...

"Askar, Askar, answer love, we need you." Hamulet was trying to bring her husband back to his senses.

As Sidor's hordes continued to attack relentlessly, all was chaos, and all seemed lost for the rebel forces. Askar opened his eyes, and Hamulet's shadow became clearer. "My dear Hamulet, what a beautiful and brave woman the gods have bestowed upon me."

"This is no time for romance, General Askar. We must decide on the situation. The more time passes, the more warriors we lose. Xilas will not arrive, unfortunately." Hamulet closed her eyes, and small tears welled up. "This is over. We must escape to fight another day."

"Hamulet, I made you my wife because you are a warrior who always fights despite all odds. Today, we are here fighting for our last chance to be free. I would rather die fighting than live the rest of my days subjugated to tyranny." Askar paused as he ran his hand over his wife's face. "Are you with me?"

"Come on, my love!" Hamulet took Askar by the hand, and they ran across the battlefield, fighting for their freedom.

Askar looked out at the horizon watching as the new moon rose and the Drans and the dragons plowed through the starry night. The warriors watched this spectacle and raised their hands to the sky, amid laughter and tears. The Sidor were quickly defeated along with the castle's defenses.

Xilas appeared flying a dragon and then appeared before the warriors. "Askar, my friend, I pay my respects. I have come late, but my promise has been fulfilled." Xilas wielded the sword, and they ran to finish Mardok once and for all. "Now, let's go get the tyrant!"

Askar, Hamulet, and Xilas reached the room finding Mardok in his bed, one of the sages spoke, "Here is no longer the one you seek, he has passed to the afterlife. Only the shell of his existence remains." The announcement gladdened the warriors, who turned to the fighters.

Askar took the floor announcing the end of a time of repression and suffering. The kingdom Apalar became one of the most prosperous of the ten kingdoms. Finally, Askar and Hamulet lived together until the end of their days, and Xilas disappeared with the Drans.

The end

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Español

Una nueva esperanza

«¡Ataquen!», se oía un grito estremecedor mientras la batalla estaba en su máximo furor.

El castillo estaba siendo sitiado por las fuerzas rebeldes que intentaban derrocar al tirano Mardok, quien durante varias décadas había gobernado con puño de hierro y sumido al reino Apalar en la miseria y la hambruna.

«Askar, las tropas ya no resisten más. La defensa del castillo es muy fuerte. Nuestros soldados caen como moscas. Debemos dar la orden de la retirada». El sudor recorría la frente de Hamulet.

«No, debe ser hoy o Mardok se hará más fuerte y convocará a sus aliados para acabar con la resistencia». Askar miraba fijamente a Hamulet.

Pero Hamulet tenía razón las tropas estaban siendo arrasadas por la lluvia de flechas y las falanges de los Sidor, guerreros alados, era cuestión de tiempo para que todo terminara, Askar esperaba un milagro en el fondo de su corazón.

«Hamulet, vamos a luchar por nuestro reino y la libertad». Askar salía de la tienda de campaña con la furia brotando de sus ojos, mientras gritaba. «¡A asaltar el castillo!, guerreros. La libertad es hoy, mañana es tarde para seguir viviendo».

El apocalipsis se había desatado en el campo de batalla, ningún bando quería rendirse. Hamulet y Askar tomaban la delantera para empezar a combatir con los Sidor. En ese instante, Askar recibió un golpe y cayó inconsciente...

Askar abría lentamente los ojos y entre sombras veía Hamulet, quien tiernamente le daba un beso. «Oh, mi amada Hamulet. Que dicha tengo de tener tu amor».

«Askar, mi amado, Xilas te busca». Hamulet le decía con un tono bajo casi silente.

Askar y Hamulet iban al encuentro de Xilas, quien yacía sentando en una silla de madera desgastada y con la pintura desgastada por el paso del tiempo. «Xilas, que la buena ventura te acompañe». Askar levantaba la mano en son de saludo.

«Askar, mucho tiempo ha pasado. ¿Qué te ha traído a mi humilde morada?». El guerrero acercaba una silla a dónde estaba Xilas.

Xilas miraba con desconfianza a Hamulet, mientras volvía la mirada a Askar. «Podemos hablar a solas, mi estimado amigo».

Askar miraba a Hamulet y decía, «Lo que tengas que decir ningún secreto será. Hamulet, además de ser mi esposa, es mi mano derecha en lo que compete a los asuntos del reino. Habla con confianza que no hay nada que temer».

«Perdóname, Askar, sabes que mi desconfianza es mi amiga». Miraba a los dos y cruzaba las piernas en un claro intento por buscar la comodidad en la silla vieja. «Lo que me ha traído hasta aquí es el asunto de Mardok...». Xilas hacía una pausa, mientras pedía un vaso de vino. La copa era servida y Xilas retomaba su narrativa. «Nuestros espías nos han informado, que Mardok está enfermo y que los sabios del reino están desesperados por buscar una cura».

Hamulet tomaba la palabra, «Es un gran noticia, el tirano finalmente caerá». El rostro de la bella guerrera se iluminaba ante las palabras de Xilas.

«Es el momento que estábamos esperando. Es por eso que debemos actuar de forma inmediata, atacar el castillo y derrocar al tirano. Eso lo debemos hacer antes que los sabios encuentren la cura». Xilas golpeaba la mesa frenéticamente.

«Pero no tenemos los suficientes guerreros para tomar el castillo, Nos destrozarían rápido y sin misericordia», Askar replicaba.

«Habia pensado en eso y es por eso que he decidido ir ante los Drans, tu sabes que tienen dragones de combate y además quieren vengarse de Mardok por lo que le hizo a su tierra sagrada». Xilas se paraba y se dirigía a la ventana.

«Pero no tenemos tiempo, el ataque debería ser rápido, y el viaje hasta el reino de los Drans, te tomará semanas». Hamulet se dirigía con vehemencia ante Xilas.

«He pensado que mientras voy en busca de los Drans, ustedes vayan haciendo la incursión y faltando una semana para que la luna nueva salga, asalten el castillo». Xilas miraba a Hamulet esperando un comentario.

«Y si no llegas sería nuestro fin. ¿Qué garantía tenemos de que tú llegarás?», Hamulet preguntaba queriendo develar los secretos de esos ojos color miel.

«Deben creer en mí. Mi palabra es mi dios y las promesas mis deudas saldadas». Xilas se ponía la mano en el corazón.

Hamulet mostraba cierto dejo de desconfianza, pero Askar estaba totalmente convencido. «Entonces así será, mi estimado Xilas. Estaré mirando al horizonte, en tanto luchamos por una nueva esperanza con nuestras espadas». Askar y Xilas estrechaban las manos en señal de pacto y promesa...

«Askar, Askar, responde amor, te necesitamos». Hamulet trataba de volver en sí a su esposo.

En tanto que las ordas de Sidor seguían atacando sin descanso, todo era un caos y parecía que todo estaba perdido para las fuerzas rebeldes. Askar abría los ojos y la sombra de Hamulet se hacía más clara. «Mi querida Hamulet, que bella y valiente mujer me han concedido los dioses».

«No es hora de romance, General Askar. Debemos tomar una decisión sobre la situación, entre más pasa el tiempo, perdemos más guerreros. Xilas no llegará desafortunadamente». Hamulet cerraba los ojos y pequeñas lágrimas brotaban. «Esto se acabó, debemos escapar para pelear otro día».

«Hamulet, te hice mi esposa porque eres una guerrera que siempre pelea a pesar de todas las adversidades. Hoy estamos aquí peleando por nuestra última opción de ser libres. Prefiero morir luchando, que vivir el resto de mis días subyugado a la tiranía». Askar hacia una pausa, mientras recorría con su mano el rostro de su esposa. «¿Estás conmigo?».

«¡Vamos, mi amor!». Hamulet tomaba a Askar de la mano y juntos corrían por el campo de batalla, luchando por su libertad.

Askar miraba al horizonte mirando como la luna nueva salía y junto con ella los Drans junto a los dragones que surcaban la noche estrellada. Los guerreros miraron este espectáculo y levantaron las manos al cielo, entre risas y lágrimas. Los Sidor fueron aplacados rápidamente y las defensas del castillo destruidas.

Xilas aparecía volando un dragón y luego se presentaba ante los guerreros. «Askar, amigo, presento mis respetos. He venido un poco tarde, pero mi promesa se ha cumplido». Xilas empuñaba la espada y juntos corrían para terminar de una vez por todas con Mardok. «¡Ahora vamos por el tirano!».

Askar, Hamulet y Xilas llegaron hasta la habitación encontrando a Mardok en su lecho, uno de los sabios habló a los guerreros, «Aquí ya no está el que buscan, ha pasado a la otra vida, solo queda el cascarón de su existencia». El anuncio alegró a los guerreros quienes se dirigían a los combatientes.

Askar tomaba la palabra anunciando el fin de un tiempo de represión y sufrimiento. El reino Apalar se convirtió en uno de los más prósperos de los 10 reinos. Finalmente Askar y Hamulet vivieron juntos hasta el final de sus días y Xilas despareció junto con los Drans.

Fin

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Source 1
Source 2

Edited by Rincón Poético

The text of this post was originally translated from Spanish to English with the translator DeepL
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7 comments
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What an interesting and well-told story, @rinconpoetico7. So often when we see stories about kingdoms and royalty, it seems as though we have read them before. But this one was quite unique. I really liked how Hamulet was involved in the matters of state and worked right alongside her husband.

I have a few tips for you on this story. The first one is about the character description of Hamulet. When she first enters the scene, there is nothing to describe her, or how she has managed to be a warrior in a time when these jobs are mostly the work of men. And so, I was not able to determine whether Hamulet was a woman or a man. I did not figure it out until Askar referred to her as his wife. I almost fell out of my chair! The whole time I thought she was a man. (This was partly due to the similarity to the name Hamlet, from Shakespeare.) You might want to provide a hint earlier in the story that Hamulet is a woman.

The second tip is about pronouns. Overall, you use the right pronouns throughout the story. I know this is a challenge when translating from Spanish to English. I did find one instance, where Hamulet is referred to as a male:

Hamulet closed his eyes, and small tears welled up. "This is over. We must escape to fight another day."

If you changed the instance of "his" to "her" it would be correct. I hope this is helpful!

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Thank you for stopping by and leaving your comment that adds to the story. I think there was a bit of confusion with the name, I used it because I liked the sound.

I didn't want to go into detail about the characters so that the story wouldn't be too long, but I do understand that it's necessary.

The thing about pronouns always escapes me one or another, The translator has his limitations and I apologize for those details that make the story lose quality.

Thanks for the advice, it is much appreciated. A hug.

Excellent day!

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Yes, I know the translation tools have some limitations, and it's unfortunate. One of the differences between our two languages is how we use pronouns, and I understand it can be troublesome! I certainly could not write in Spanish. 😄

My comment was to encourage you to add at least a brief description of your characters, so we can visualize them. It can be as simple as something like the following examples:

  • Hamulet tucked her sword into its scabbard with a swish. Her eyes flashed.
  • Hamulet's blood-red lips broke into an angry smirk and she spoke in a tense whisper.

Something very simple like that can help readers to know your character. And the more we know the characters, the more involved we become in the story.

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Yes, dear friend.

Little by little we are learning to write in English in order to improve. Every language has its challenges for those who decide to learn it.

You're right, I think I forgot to detail a character like that, I'll keep it in mind for the next one.

Thank you for taking the time to give us these tips.

A hug!

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This story reminds me of the Middle Ages with its touches of adventure and a bit of Viking. I spent a lot of time reading the story. Well built and captivating. Best regards

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