Fiction: One last hope (Una última esperanza) [EN/ES]
One last hope
Ernest let out a big puff of smoke into the night air. The white cloud of nicotine took away some of the despair and helplessness his heart felt. He threw the cigarette butt with a restrained fury that was about to explode like a bomb.
A cab arrived and was bathed by soft drops that caressed the yellow metal. The door opened quickly. A woman came running out with a soft, almost clumsy gait. She approached him. "Hello, Ernest, how's everything?" The woman's crimson lips danced in open dialogue.
"Everything's the same, Sara." Ernest's eyes grew elusive under the woman's gaze.
"Oh, my God, what shall we do now?"
"We just have to wait and be ready." Ernest's voice cracked at times in choked feeling.
"How can it be, maybe they have already lost hope?" Sara was giving herself into the man's arms seeking refuge from her growing pain. "Damn it, Ernest, why is this happening to us?" The soft makeup was embossed on Ernest's black cloth coat.
"Let's go inside, it's cold and it looks like rain is going to fall." Ernest put his arm around Sara's shoulders and they walked into the hospital.
The cold, whitish corridors welcomed the distressed couple. Cold, grief-stricken expressions followed by glances at Ernest and Sara. The white lights illuminated the two sad bodies that moved with slow steps, loaded with fear and anguish.
The couple took the elevator that would take them to the origin of their antagonistic destiny. The screen showed the number 7 and the doors opened showing an infinity of doors and windows in parallel lines. The cold marble floor received the discordant steps of the couple.
Ernest and Sara reached the room where the mother was. A tall, thin doctor was addressing the couple. "Good evening, I'm Dr. Karl. I imagine you already know that your mother suffered a severe traumatic brain injury, which caused her to go into a coma. We don't know if and when she will wake up. On the other hand, her heart was also affected in the car accident and we are trying to control any heart failure. Her mother's condition is critical and we don't give much hope."
"You can't tell us that. You must do more, this is my mother you are talking about. You can't just fold your arms." Sara pounded her fists on the doctor's chest as tears flowed unabated from her honey-colored eyes.
"Sara, Sara, calm down, please." Ernest grabbed the woman by the arms and pulled her away from the doctor.
"I'm sorry it's all we can do right now. You must understand the gravity of the situation and expect the worst." The doctor turned around and with his head down he left the room, which was filled with sadness and helplessness.
Ernest and Sara hugged each other tightly and the tears fell steadily to the white floor with gray stains. "Ernest, tell me our mother will be all right. I beg you." Sara was beside herself and delirious with a fantasy dream.
"Please, Sara, pull yourself together. Now more than ever we must be united and hope intact despite..." At that moment, the machines began to beep intensely. An alarm went off and within minutes the medical staff was in the room.
Dr. Karl was running hurriedly, his footsteps diligent and his black hair waved in the melancholy hospital breeze. He looked at Ernest and Sara and immediately sent for them. A nurse was running toward them and inviting them out with a cordial, but concerned smile. "Please, you must leave until we get the situation under control. We will be informing you of any new developments."
The brothers left the place in tears of despair, while the room was enveloped in almost funereal, almost melancholic noises. The defibrillator paced the woman's chest as it released the electric shocks. After all the hustle and bustle there was silence, a silence that was lived in despair as the minutes passed.
Sara clung to Ernest and did not stop crying and begging, while he was just staring at her, navigating among thousands of ideas that hammered his mind. After a few minutes, which seemed like hours, Doctor Karl came out. His brown eyes reflected an inexhaustible tranquility, he stood in front of them with a coldness almost from beyond the grave and said, "For the moment your mother is out of danger, but her condition is still reserved. In a few hours, you may go in to see her."
The brothers nodded and waited for the hands of the clock to move quickly. The two of them sat in that red wine leather seat, watching life pass by as the minutes ticked by. After some time had passed, a nurse spoke to them, "You can come in now."
Sara and Ernest rushed into the room and saw their beloved mother hooked up to all those machines. Sara was kneeling and holding her mother's hand. She kept calling for her mother to come back. "Mommy, Mommy, please come back."
Ernest would walk up to her mother and stroke her hair decorated with a few gray hairs. Then he would release some tears that fell on the face aged by the passage of time and then he would say. "We don't lose hope of seeing you smiling again, my dear old lady."
"It's time for you to leave, we will be updating you on the patient's condition." Doctor Karl would ask the siblings to leave.
Sara and Ernest were holding hands and as they were leaving a voice was heard, "Why are you leaving?" The surprised brothers and the doctor looked at the mother who was waking up from her coma.
"Miracle!" they cried out.
The end
Una última esperanza
Ernest soltaba una gran bocanada de humo al aire nocturno. La blanca nube de nicotina se llevaba parte de la desesperación e impotencia que sentía su corazón. Tiraba la colilla de cigarro con una furia contenida y que estaba a punto de estallar como una bomba.
Llegaba un taxi que era bañado por unas suaves gotas que acariciaban el metal amarillo. La puerta se abría con rapidez. Una mujer salía corriendo con un suave y casi torpe andar. Se acercó hasta Ernest. «Hola, Ernest. ¿Cómo está todo?». Los labios carmesí de la mujer bailaban en el diálogo abierto.
«Todo sigue igual, Sara». Los ojos de Ernest se hacían esquivos ante la mirada de la mujer.
«Oh, mi Dios, ¿qué haremos ahora?».
«Solo debemos esperar y estar preparados». La Voz de Ernest se quebraba por momentos en un ahogado sentimiento.
«¿Cómo puede ser? ¿Acaso ya dieron todo por perdido?», Sara se entregaba a los brazos del hombre buscando refugio a su dolor creciente. «Maldita sea, Ernest. ¿Por qué nos pasa esto a nosotros?». El suave maquillaje quedaba estampado en el saco de paño negro de Ernest.
«Entremos, hace frío y parece que la lluvia va a caer». Ernest pasaba el brazo por los hombros de Sara y entraban hacia el hospital.
Los fríos pasillos blanquecinos daban la bienvenida a la pareja angustiada. Las expresiones frías y de desconsuelo seguían con las miradas a Ernest y Sara. Las luces blancas iluminaban a los dos cuerpos tristes que se movían con lerdos pasos, cargados con miedo y angustia.
La pareja tomaba el ascensor que los llevaría hasta el origen de su antagonista destino. La pantalla mostraba el número 7 y las puertas se abrían mostrando una infinidad de puertas y ventanas en líneas paralelas. El piso frío de mármol, recibía los pasos discordantes de la pareja.
Ernest y Sara llegaron hasta la habitación donde estaba la madre. Un doctor alto y delgado se dirigía a la pareja. «Buenas noches, Soy el doctor Karl. Me imagino que ya saben que su madre sufrió una lesión cerebral traumática grave, esto hizo que ella entrara en estado de coma. Realmente no sabemos si despertará y cuando lo hará. Por otro lado su corazón también fue afectado en el accidente de auto y tratamos de controlar cualquier falla de este. La condición de su madre es crítica y no damos muchas esperanzas».
«No puede decirnos eso, debe hacer más, es mi madre de la que está hablando. No puede cruzarse de brazos». Sara golpeaba con los puños en el pecho del doctor, en tanto las lágrimas fluían sin parar por sus ojos color miel.
«Sara, Sara, cálmate, por favor». Ernesto tomaba a la mujer de los brazos y la apartaba del doctor.
«Lo siento es todo lo que podemos hacer en estos momentos. Deben entender la gravedad de la situación y esperar lo peor». El doctor daba media vuelta y con la cabeza gacha se retiraba de la habitación, la cual se había llenado de tristeza e impotencia.
Ernesto y Sara se abrazaban con fuerza y las lágrimas caían si parar hacia el suelo blanco con manchas grises. «Ernest, dime que nuestra madre estará bien. Te lo suplico». Sara estaba fuera de sí y deliraba con un sueño de fantasía.
«Por favor, Sara, contrólate. Ahora más que nunca debemos estar unidos y con la esperanza intacta a pesar de...». En ese momento, las máquinas empezaron a sonar intensamente. Una alarma se disparó y en cuestión de minutos el personal médico se hacía presente en la habitación.
El doctor Karl corría presuroso, sus pasos eran diligentes y su cabello negro ondeaba en la brisa melancólica del hospital. Miró a Ernest y Sara e inmediatamente mando a sacarlos. Una enfermera corría hacia ellos y los invitaba a salir con un sonrisa cordial, pero preocupada. «Por favor, deben salir hasta que controlemos la situación. Les estaremos informando cualquier novedad».
Los hermanos salían del lugar entre lágrimas de desesperación, en tanto, la habitación se envolvía en ruidos casi fúnebres, casi melancólicos. El desfibrilador se paseaba por el pecho de la mujer, mientras soltaba las descargas eléctricas. Después de todo el ajetreo hubo silencio, un silencio que se vivía en la desesperación conforme pasaban los minutos.
Sara se aferraba a Ernest y no paraba de llorar y suplicar, mientras, él solo estaba con la mirada perdida, navegando entre miles de ideas que martillaban su mente. Luego de unos minutos, que parecieron horas, salía el Doctor Karl. Sus ojos castaños reflejaban una tranquilidad inagotable, se paró frente a ellos con una frialdad casi de ultratumba y les dijo, «Por el momento su madre está fuera de peligro, pero su condición sigue siendo reservada. Dentro de unas horas pueden entrar a verla».
Los hermanos asintieron con la cabeza y esperaron a que las manecillas del reloj se movieran rápidamente. Los dos estaban en ese asiento de cuero vino tinto, viendo pasar la vida que se iba con el paso de los minutos. Después de pasado un tiempo, una enfermera les habló, «ya pueden pasar».
Sara y Ernest pasaron rápidamente a la habitación y vieron a su querida madre conectada a todas esas máquinas. Sara se arrodillaba y tomaba la mano de su madre, no paraba de llamarla para que volviera. «Mami, mami, por favor, vuelve».
Ernest se acercaba a la madre y acariciaba su cabello decorado con algunas canas. Luego él soltaba algunas lágrimas que caían sobre el rostro avejentado por el paso del tiempo y luego decía. «No perdemos la esperanza de volverte a ver sonriendo, mi querida vieja».
«Es tiempo de que salgan, les estaremos informando sobre el estado de la paciente». El Doctor Karl invitaba a salir a los hermanos.
Sara y Ernest se tomaban de las manos y mientras salían una voz se oyó, «¿Por qué se van?». Los hermanos y el doctor sorprendidos regresaron la vista a la madre que volvía en sí.
«¡Milagro!», gritaron.
Fin
Source 1 Source 2
Edited by Rincón Poético.
The text of this post was originally translated from Spanish to English with the translator DeepL
Original content
¡Thanks for you reading!
Miracle!!
I could feel all the sadness and fear they did from here. It's so hard to watch a loved one suffer. But I like that they kept hope alive. And their mama is such a dogged fellow😅
Thanks for passing and leaving your comment. There are situations where hope remains alive until the end. In truth, the mother is a warrior woman who still wants to continue in this world with her sons.
Good day.
You took me on an emotional journey I felt like I was in the story with Ernest and Sara as they went through the critical moment of their mother's health condition. You have done so well in using the prompt hope.
Thanks for the nice comment. I am very glad that you experienced the feelings that I wanted to capture in the story.
Happy tuesday.
You do an excellent job of creating atmosphere and setting the scene in this story. For other writers--those who might wonder why your writing has such impact--they might consider the action verbs you use: a voice cracks, corridors welcome, glances follow. In each case the verb doesn't merely show action, it expresses mood and scene.
The story has a great arc. The characters relationship is well defined. Some might say the piece was excessively sentimental, but it still works. It's a great story.
Thank you for sharing this with us, @rinconpoetico7.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your nice comment. I'm very happy that you liked the story. The idea was to make a story full of feeling for the reader. I'm glad to know that met the objective.
A hugs @theinkwell
Such sadness. It was hard, but she conquered it all. It is indeed a miracle.
What a trip! This depict how sincerely we feel for our loved ones when they age and face the struggle to survive their health conditions. Ernest and Sarah.were both the centrepiece for hope in this scripted story.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your kind comment. Truly, when a loved one is going through a situation like this we need to have a lot of faith and hope.
Happy day.
What a miracle honestly. I'm glad it ended happily because I felt sad when I thought they'd lost their mother.
Thanks for taking your time to read the story. I'm very glad that you liked it and that it awakened those feelings through the narrative. They say that when that happens it means that the story has penetrated deep into the heart.
Excellent tuesday
She’s a strong woman and she must be fighting hard to keep her life. The kids seem so crushed and they need each others condolences to pass through this difficult phase. Really sad to read 😪
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