Are You Really What You Say You Are?

Recently, I saw a tweet that made me laugh so hard but on the flip side, was a genuine food for thought. It went thus; "why would you wait till the 31st of December before cutting off toxic people or changing toxic habits? Why not do it when you see the initial signs?". Sighs. Humans are wired a certain way and this is the reality of life.

We wait till the last day of the year before getting rid of the toxic things in our lives and consequently, we also wait till the first of the new year before making resolutions? What happens to making resolutions mid year? Don't mid year resolutions work out too?

Following trends has never been my thing. I like to do things at my own pace and this has helped me a whole lot. If we take a good look at it, we would observe that a majority of the people who scream about their new year resolutions basically do it because that is what they have been trained to do. They do not do it because they really want to make visible changes in their lives. Give it three months or less and these resolutions are flushed down the toilet, only to be reinstated the same time next year. This cycle continues until whenever they actually grab a seat and think deeply about their lives.

On the other hand, there are people who genuinely make these resolutions and plans with the belief that things would work out but the universe always has its own plans. In such a case what's the best thing to do? Give up mid year and try again next year? Or brace up and keep pushing?

There are so many things that can be put into consideration in such a case and one of them would be "the structure of your plan".

The first question to ask oneself is; "why are my plans not working out?"
Another very adorable attribute of humans is the fact that they aim to achieve very high and sometimes hopeless goals and once they can't achieve these goals, they beat themselves up about it. Calling themselves things like 'failures'. But are you really a failure?

Aiming for higher things is a good quality that shows how highly you think of yourself but sometimes, we should set goals that we know are very feasible, not ludicrous goals. How would someone without a good paying job who barely eats three square meals a day aim to build a mansion before the year runs out? With no actionable plan and no source of stable income?

More often than not, we are the main reason why our plans do not work out. So if you draft out a plan and it doesn't work out, it's always best to restrategize, learn from our shortcomings, gather useful information and then go ahead to come up with another genius and very feasible plan. You may ask, why not just keep working with your initial plan till it finally works out?

I know of a person who spent seven years of his life trying to gain admission into medical school and each time, his application was declined. In pain, he watched as his mates effortlessly got in and out of med school. However, he was resilient and kept fighting, year after year but to no avail. The intriguing part of it was the fact that at every point in time, he always had the perfect score and the required documents but all his efforts still proved futile.

People obviously came up with different theories as to why he couldn't get in but looking at it from a high perspective, he just wasn't supposed to enter medical school with the approach he had adopted. Few years after trying, he finally took the cue and applied somewhere else and immediately he was admitted. After spending five years in his new course and graduating with a first class, he reapplied to med school and was accepted. In the end he graduated with two official degrees. Talk about restrategizing. If he had thought about this earlier, he wouldn't have spent years trying and failing. Nonetheless, he learnt a vital lesson and so did the rest of the people around him.

An amiable hivian mentioned the essence of flexibility as humans during one of our chit chats. We may be very passionate about our goals and want to achieve them by hook or by crook and that is great. However, we shouldn't be lost in a wilderness of pain and suffering because we do not want to be flexible.

The truth remains that there are numerous ways to go about certain things in life. These ways may be subtle and unattractive. They may not carry the amount of prestige or recognition we want them to carry but they are still worth trying.

If I ever found myself in a situation of stagnation. A place where my plans, goals and resolutions weren't going as planned, the first and major thing I would do would be to take the cue and skillfully restrategize. If it doesn't work out, I restrategize once again. If there is one thing I've learnt it would be that things would not always go as planned and at such junctures we always have two options; give up or brace up. Bracing up would always be my first choice because there isn't room for me in the world where people give up.

All images used belong to me and were taken with my mobile device except stated otherwise

Love and Light, Wongi 🌼