My Muse - LOH #222

Image is mine

What inspires me?? What makes me go out of my way to do the things that I do even when I do not have the zeal to? Well, my daughter is my muse, she's my greatest source of inspiration and with her, every path that I walk, I walk with caution and utmost care because I know that she's behind me and hot on my trail. With my daughter, I always want to do the right thing because I'm aware that the foundation of her life rests on my actions.

At the time when I was done with the second part of my higher education, I felt empty. I felt incomplete and I knew that something was missing. I took some quiet moments off everyday to reflect on my life because I needed to identify the next step and how I would go about starting it. Technically at that point, I was just responsible for myself and as such, not much zeal to build anything. It was more like I couldn't see beyond my nose and I didn't want to live life like that. Infact, I wanted to do more to achieve more and I also would love to leave a legacy behind. That moment, I was at a crossroad and the big leap for me was motherhood so I took it.

I can tell you for a fact that my life never remained the same. The best part is, it got better. This is me who was living life without a care in the world now paying attention to every detail and no matter how inconsequential, I always want to do what's right. Like I said, my daughter is hot on my trail.

Just in the early hours of yesterday, before the break of dawn, I was going to use the bathroom and I accidentally stepped on something soft and fur. I had ignored it but then it gave a loud squeaking sound that drew my attention to what I had stepped on. I looked at the floor and saw that it was a rat struggling for some extra life.

Immediately, I knew that the fumigation must have worn off because for a very long time we've been rat free. I got done with the bathroom and then took a closer look at the rat. I wasn't going to lose sleep so I left it, although it was almost lifeless, I had hoped that it would escape.

Unfortunately, the rat died leaving me with the burden of disposing of its body. Where it got frustrating was me running late for work and at the same time school run.

It was almost past 7 am and my daughter was still home instead of being at school. I had limited time and I complained bitterly about how disposing of the rat will cause a delay. Just as I was lamenting, my mom suggested that I dispose of the rat in a bush opposite our compound.

While my mom's suggestion seemed time efficient and also it was the easiest thing to do, it was so wrong because behind that bush is an ongoing building project. And although the smell would no longer be our problem, how about the builders?

I immediately expressed my concerns and my mom responded, “well, you are the one running late."

I looked at the time and saw that I had a little more time of say 5mins. Thus, I went in, carried a shovel and dug a deep pit where the rat was properly buried. All these while I was disposing of the rat, my daughter was watching the whole thing.

After I had buried the rat, she yelled, "wow mommy, good job," then gave me a thumbs up. I was still smiling sheepishly from the thumbs up when she added, "my mommy buried the rat so that it can rest well." A statement I never expected to hear from her because I mean, it came as a surprise to me that a child her age knows what the purpose of burial actually is.

In all, I was really glad that I didn't go through with what my mom had suggested because that would just be me leaving a taint on my daughter's subconscious. It will also be me turning into an hypocrite because I always advocate for people to do the right thing.

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