Journey Through Challenges | My Insights on Navigating Life's Difficulties (LOH #170)

Life often presents challenging situations, and like many others, I've encountered my fair share, often revolving around life-and-death scenarios. While I don't profess to be an expert in going through life's difficulties or claim to have more experience than anyone else, the past 7 years have exposed me to a variety of experiences. I believe this journey has equipped me with insights and perspectives that may prove beneficial to others facing similar challenges.

Over the past 7 years, I've confronted numerous health challenges, leading to countless hospital stays. I've undergone multiple procedures and surgeries, narrowly escaping death on a couple of occasions. While I don't like to discuss this aspect of my life, as it may come across as seeking sympathy or pity, that's not my intention. These experiences have not only left a lasting impact on my physical well-being but have also taken a toll on my mental and emotional health. However, for the purpose of this post, I'll briefly touch upon these experiences and share insights into how I cope during such trying situations.

These tips are not only relevant for managing health crises but are also applicable in navigating other challenges that arise in life.

Note: In January 2023, I was admitted to the hospital due to gastroenteritis, and a year later (last week), I underwent hospitalization again, this time for severe Long Covid symptoms.

✅ Tried and True Tip #1 - Take A Deep Breath, Stay Calm, And Assess the Situation ✅

Easier said than done but trust me, you need this. As a woman, I understand how our emotions can be all over the place in the face of life's challenges. However, resist the impulse to panic. Take a deep breath, and if it brings comfort, you can turn to prayer or meditation. We don't make good choices when we are dictated by our emotions.

When a crisis strikes, the first thing that often comes to my mind is "not again 😩". It's tempting to fall into a pattern of self-pity and lament the unfortunate event that just unfold.

And the next concern that comes to my mind is "how can I afford to solve this?". I know financial worries are widespread, but it's vital to resist fixating on money at this moment, as it can cloud your judgment. So, take a deep breath, find a moment of solitude to stay composed, engage in prayer or meditation, or any calming activity, and then proceed to assess the situation.

In times of crisis, seeking support from family and friends is a natural inclination. However, hold off on reaching out until you've had a moment alone to calmly evaluate your situation. I'll explain more about this further down in my post.

✅ Tried and True Tip #2 - Focus On What You Can Control And Break It Down ✅

When there's a problem, I often find myself thinking too much about what might happen in the future. But the future is uncertain, and the things I worry about may not even happen. I can't control that. So, I try to remind myself to focus on what's happening right now and figure out what I can do to make things better. Once I understand what's going on, I break the problem into smaller parts that I can handle one at a time. This makes the situation feel less overwhelming, and I can make progress step by step.

For example, if I get sick, my first worry might be about what will happen to my family if I don't get better. Instead of getting stuck worrying about that, I shift my focus to what I can do right away to get better. I might check if I can treat the illness at home or if I need to see a doctor. If it's a minor sickness, I could try home remedies or ask a pharmacist for advice. If the pharmacist suggests going to a clinic or hospital, then I do that. Breaking the problem into smaller tasks helps me avoid making the situation seem worse than it is and keeps me from worrying too much.

Note: Here's a picture of my daughter from November 2018, when we - my kids and I - were in the hospital battling dengue fever. It was a tough time, and the illness nearly took my life, but thankfully, we all managed to recover.

✅ Tried and True Tip #3 - Seek Professional Help If Needed ✅

This tip is self-explanatory. If the difficulty persists or becomes overwhelming, consider seeking support from a professional such as a therapist, counselor, mentor, or in my case, a doctor.

✅ Tried and True Tip #4 - Prioritize Self-Care ✅

During challenging times, self-care often gets overlooked. When I was grappling with difficulties, the thought of prioritizing self-care never crossed my mind. I was too engrossed in figuring out what to do next and adapting to stress, taking a toll on my mental and emotional well-being, leading to prolonged burnout, bitterness, and resentment.

Eventually, I came to the realization that I must prioritize self-care to build the strength needed to face life's challenges. I learned that dedicating time to care for myself is not a waste; it's an essential investment. Now, I firmly believe that self-care is the key to meeting the needs of my family. A healthy mother is crucial for my children because a consistently unwell mother can significantly impact all aspects of their well-being.

Note: A selfie I took while resting on a hospital bed. I looked so pale and yellow.

✅ Tried and True Tip #5 (Optional) - Seeking Support From Friends and Family Too Soon ✅

I've listed this as the last tip, and it's optional because I understand not everyone may agree with me. Earlier, I mentioned that during tough times, it's common for us to turn to family and friends for support. There's nothing wrong with this, as I recognize that seeking help and sharing experiences can offer valuable insights and emotional support, no matter what difficulty you're facing.

However, I recommend waiting to seek support until you have a clearer understanding of your situation and have assessed your options.

Why? Because sharing your problems with loved ones without careful consideration might lead to an uncomfortable situation. It's hard for me to explain this in English (my third language), but let me share my experience.

In the past, I used to share my problems with friends and family too soon whenever I faced difficulties in life. I wasn't always looking for advice, just seeking emotional support. However, they often gave advice, some in a condescending manner, triggering feelings of shame. I became confused and overwhelmed due to the abundance of advice. This confusion negatively affected my mental and emotional well-being. I felt burdened and guilty if I didn't follow through with the suggestions given, creating more problems instead of solving the initial issue.

However, as the years went by, I learned the tips mentioned earlier and ensured I truly grasped my situation before feeling comfortable enough to discuss it. It's crucial to share with people you trust who won't undermine or brush aside your concerns. While I have many friends, not all of them are aware of what I've been through. Some might see it as a trust issue on my part, but for me, it's about safeguarding my mental and emotional well-being while navigating the challenges I encounter.

I recognize this approach may not fit every situation, but I firmly believe it applies to many of the difficulties we face.

This post is my response to this week's LOH Contest #170:

What actions do you recommend to keep control in difficult moments?

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