Lucky - The ink well fiction Prompt #129.

Source fom pixabay


Milagros, from a very young age, was very studious, she loved to dance. In spite of her young age, she was fascinated to do several experiments, among these: she prepared some serums with water, sugar, carrot and salt. Elvia, the girl's mother. She was a brunette with big eyes, very elegant and beautiful.

One day, dragged by the bad situation, she decided to leave her town with her daughter. She asked for a bus ticket and migrated to a city, with nowhere to go.

When she arrived in that city, she sat down in a square, carrying only a plastic bag containing the clothes of both of them. She no longer had anything to eat. In front of her sat a gentleman who never tired of looking at them. Hunger began to ravage the girl's stomach, and she began to cry:

"Mommy, Mommy, I'm hungry!"

The desperate mother took her by the hand and left. The gentleman in a gesture of kindness tells her:

"Let's go to the bakery across the street!".

Surprised, Elvia follows him. Arriving at the bakery, he asks for three café con leches and three pastries to be served.

The three of them sat at a table and the two of them ate with great appetite.

The gentleman stretches out his hand, takes Elvia's and says:

"Martin"

she replies:

"Enchanted, Elvia!"

They engage in a dialogue and he asks her:

Where are you going to live?

"I don't know, I don't know anyone in this city, besides I don't have the resources to pay for a residence".

Getting up the courage, She asks Martin.

Do you need a maid in your house to do the job?

"Yes, but I don't have many resources to pay you?

"I'll settle for a room and board for us".

Martin immediately took out his cell phone and called:

"Hello ,mom, I am going to take you to a lady with a girl, who will help you with the household chores and accompany you, when I am out of town".

His mother replied:

It is, friend of yours, do you know her?

"Yes!

"Then bring them!

Immediately, Martin took them to his home and when his mother arrived, she prepared a room with all the comforts for the maid and her daughter.

Martin is a refrigeration technician and does this work for large food supply consortiums. Many times he has to travel to other cities to perform these activities. Martín's mother sews unisex clothing.

Mrs. Rebeca got along very well with Elvia and the girl from the very beginning. Near Rebeca's house, there is an elementary school where Milagros studies. In the afternoons, she goes to dance academy, which is located one street away from Martin's house,

Elvia has been living at Rebeca's house for two years. Martín invited her to the movies one day, then they went dancing at a nightclub.

The next day, he took her to the playground with her little girl, and then they went for ice cream. There, Martín subtly held Elvia's hand and winked at her.

She blushed like a ripe tomato about to fall off the plant.

They stayed in that situation for several months, until Martin asked her to marry him. She accepted.

Several years later. From that union, they have two children, a female and a male.

As time went by. Milagros became a very pretty teenager and stood out in her high school, graduating from high school with merit. Through a project she developed a liquid to sterilize the operating room of clinics.

In her academy, she is one of the most outstanding dancers in contemporary dances and has gone with her choreography in representation to other countries.

When Milagros started studying at the University, pure chemistry. Then, Martin began to not let her socialize with other young people, not even with those who were studying with her.

A cousin who has grown up with her as a brother, named Maikol, was her confidant, she confessed to him:

"My stepfather wants to hold me captive. As soon as I get the chance I will fly like a swallow, crossing the sea.
My flight will be so high that no one will be able to catch me."

Maikol smiled and said to her.

"I don't think you are capable of that."

He outlined a meaningful challenge with a smile and said:

"You'll see how I do!".

Several months passed. The harassment was so much that one day the young woman left home. No one knew where she was.

Martin walked from one end of the street to the other, like an offended tiger when his prey is stolen.

Elvia, full of fear, cried inconsolably in her room.

Martin kicked open the door of the house and went to the room where Elvia was. Very upset, full of anger and blinded by hatred, he shouts at her:

"I don't want to see Milagros in this house anymore.

A few days pass and the young girl manages to sneak a glimpse of her siblings. She goes to the school where they study and interacts with them.

Six months have passed since she ran away. Her little sister turns 8 years old. She brings her a cake and candy. She arrives at her mother's house and Martin is not there, she takes the opportunity to congratulate her little sister and hugs her little brother. Her mother hides in her room and does not come out.

The young girl decided to leave before Martin arrived. She went out and bumped into him on her way in. The man made a scene. She fled in terror.

A few days after that incident. A great opportunity presented itself to her. At that moment, she seized it and froze the semester at the university. She went abroad to study dance.

After some time, when she returned to her country, she stayed at the house of one of her dance partners and resumed her studies at the university.

Several years passed. Milagros graduated with merit in chemistry at the university.

Upon graduating in this specialty. With the series of knowledge acquired, she prepared the experiment she had been doing since high school and put it into practice and for sale in several clinics in her city. The demand was so great that a chemical company in that country helped her to patent it. With this she obtains part of her economic income.

A few days later she received an invitation from the most prestigious international contemporary dance academy located in Belgium.

explained to him that in two weeks there would be a sports competition between Belgium and Venezuela. The president of that country programmed that after the singing of the hymn of each country, a preamble where miracles will perform a dance of contemporary dances, under the direction of the most outstanding prime ballerina in that style of dances around the world.

If the show is a success, she will be the second dancer in contemporary dances in the world.

In addition, she would receive a prize of two hundred thousand dollars. And every time there was a show of that kind. She would be called to represent it.

When Milagro stepped onto that uniquely decorated podium. And when she began to dance, her mind and physical strength merged with the synchronization of her body. Transforming that dance into a show of great success

. The excited audience kept shouting: "Excellent, excellent! When Milagro concluded, she was congratulated by the President.

She received all the awards offered. In addition to the denomination of "Second dancer in contemporary dances worldwide".

When he returned to his country, he bought a house for his siblings, placing his mother as guardian, because they are minors. Elvia did not move into the house, because Martin hates everything that comes from Milagros.

A few days later, she moved to Belgium. She stood out as one of the best dancers. Reaching the rating of first outstanding dancer in contemporary dances worldwide.


This is a fiction story
I hope you like it
The image is from Pixabay
I used Translator Deepl
Use GoogleDocs



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8 comments
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Hello, it is good that in spite of what has happened, milagros kept looking out for his brothers and sisters, and was able to buy a house for them.

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Thank you for your comment and have a nice evening.

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I feel sad for Martin. He carried so much hatred for Gifted Milagros till the end. All she wanted was a happy life for her family. I'm glad she made a lot out of life.

Well done.

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Thanks to God. Milagros was able to overcome all her obstacles and move forward. Have a happy night

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Pity that Martin changed and harbored hate for the young girl.
Family is important and Milagros didn't give up on hers

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This piece felt a little over-complicated compared to your usual stories, @rammargarita . Whilst it adequately told the story of a young woman's plight to overcome adversity, the separate themes of talented dancer and talented chemist felt as though they were two diverse strands competing for word count within the constraints of a short story. As a result, it came across a little confused and disjointed. Sometimes less is more and keeping story lines clean and simple makes for a better impact. The sudden change in Martin's behaviour is also never explained. It feels like an unnecessary conflict which detracts from the main story arc, leaving the reader to wonder about its relevance to the tale.

Remember when editing your work, to be careful of mixed genders in pronouns and of incomplete sentences. I caught quite a few in this piece. It would elevate your story and improve readability if these were corrected before publication.

Thank you for writing in The Ink Well and for always supporting the works of your fellow writers.

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Thanks for your comment, but those pronouns, I can't seem to learn them. Anyway, I will be more careful when writing. Have a nice night

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