Mastering the Art of Negotiation: Lessons from Everyday Life

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The art of negotiation is something I’ve always found a bit challenging. I’m naturally the type of person who struggles to convince others to see things my way, but life often demands it. Sometimes, if you truly want or need something, you have to step out of your comfort zone and negotiate for it. Over time, I’ve learned a few techniques that have helped me, and I’d like to share them.

One of my go-to strategies is persuasion. When I need something from someone, especially a friend, I try to appeal to their reasoning and emotions. For instance, let’s say I need to borrow money from a friend. Instead of just bluntly asking, I would first assure them that I’ll return the money at a specific time. To sweeten the deal, I might even offer to pay a little interest as a token of appreciation. Most people love the idea of making extra money, so this approach often increases my chances of success. Of course, some friends might wave off the idea of interest and lend me the money out of their own free will, but the key thing is making them feel comfortable and assured about their decision to help.

I remember a particular instance earlier this year when I was really struggling financially at school. There were days when I couldn’t even afford to buy food for myself. At the time, I had a roommate who had enough money, but he was notoriously stingy. Asking him directly for money was out of the question because I knew he wouldn’t give me a single naira. However, I noticed something about him—he hated going out, especially to get dinner. He always relied on others to run errands for him. That was my opportunity to negotiate. I approached him and offered to run his errands, but with one condition: he had to give me some extra cash so I could buy something to eat for myself. Surprisingly, he agreed. For a while, I survived by running his errands and getting my share of the deal. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked, and it taught me how creativity in negotiation can be just as important as persuasion.

Another area where negotiation plays a big role is in the market. Anyone who has been to a Nigerian market knows that sellers tend to inflate their prices, especially when they think you’re not knowledgeable about the product. To get what I want at a fair price, I’ve developed a strategy with the help of my mum. Let’s say I want to buy something, and the seller tells me it costs 10,000 naira. I might immediately tell them I’m willing to pay 8,000 naira. They’ll likely refuse and try to reduce it by only 500 or 1,000 naira, but I’ll insist on a larger discount, maybe 1,500 naira. If the back-and-forth doesn’t lead to a compromise, I’ll pretend to walk away. This move is almost like magic because most sellers hate losing a customer to their competitors. Nine times out of ten, they’ll call me back and agree to my price or at least meet me halfway. And if they don’t? Well, there are plenty of other sellers in the market, so I simply move on.

Negotiation, in my experience, is less about manipulation and more about understanding what motivates the other party. Whether it’s persuading a friend, offering a service in exchange for something, or standing firm in a market, the key is to find common ground where both parties feel satisfied. It’s not always easy, and I still find it uncomfortable at times, but learning how to negotiate has saved me in difficult situations and helped me get what I need without feeling completely helpless. It’s a skill I’m constantly working on, and I believe anyone can learn it with time and practice.

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